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How Do I Get Her Back? (pg. 5)
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| DigiNut |
| quote: | Originally posted by LiquidX
They like to be treated dirty, then thats what they'll get. From my experience, the worst I treat them, the more the look after me, or want me. The harder you are on girls, the better.. it works, and thats how it is. And yes, she said change, but we the first time she comments me and we are about to go for that change, she acts all bitchy.. but w/e. I have a feeling that she'll come back to me. As of now, Im meeting so many hot chicks you cant believe, sadly though, I cant stop thinking of her. |
No! You STILL don't get it. If you're intentionally being an just to try and get them, your underlying desperation will eventually show through. It doesn't matter whether you intentionally suck up to them or intentionally treat them like dirt, the point is that you have to be secure in yourself and need no one.
It's not about how you treat them. It's about how much of a challenge you are. Being an will eventually come back and bite you in the ass in the long haul.
And guys... when I say cut her out... don't talk to her for a few weeks... that ^ is NOT what I mean. Don't just sit there waiting for someone to call, you have to forget! Go and have your own life! |
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| UWM |
I am shocked and dismayed that I haven't seen this posted yet -
Pics or STFU
If I missed it in the thread I apologize, I've been up for going on 48 hours. |
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| DJ Sunburn |
| quote: | Originally posted by UWM
I am shocked and dismayed that I haven't seen this posted yet -
Pics or STFU
If I missed it in the thread I apologize, I've been up for going on 48 hours. |
http://www.deviantart.com/view/3408881/
Now you can stfu.
I went out with her last night. We talked it out and I guess I'm just gonna have to let her go. She still loves me, I know this. She just wants to be kinda free again. Since I love her, I want her to be happy. But if I play my cards, she'll want me back. Because, yeh, I'm gonna play hard to get.
:p |
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| DigiNut |
^ :rolleyes:
G'dammit, why do people never listen to the advice they ask for?
MOVE ON. STOP THINKING ABOUT HER. STOP TALKING ABOUT LOVE AND PLAYING YOUR CARDS RIGHT, FFS! And most importantly, DON'T GO OUT WITH HER!!!
Amazing how men in society at large have gone all the way from womanizers to pathetic desperate beggars... |
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| Arbiter |
| quote: | Originally posted by DigiNut
Amazing how men in society at large have gone all the way from womanizers to pathetic desperate beggars... |
So true... our society conditions them to behave this way.
The mass media glorifies women. Our history books devote entire chapters to important contributions of women which, if the same had been done by a man, would not even have received a footnote. Men are taught that they are lucky to have a girlfriend, and yet the perception is that women are entitled to have a boyfriend.
The message that is being sent is that women are better than men; that they are more valuable than men. Most men, when exposed to these phenomena, come to define their existence through their relationships with women.
Ironically, this creates the opposite type of man from what most women really want.
Whether they want to admit it or not, what most women really look for in a relationship is the feeling that they are special, that something extraordinary about them, and only them, is what makes it possible for the man to want them.
But it does not make them feel special to just be the object of the affections of an ordinary man. They want a man who believes in himself and backs up his belief with action. When someone showers them with gifts or attention, they will naturally respond positively, at first. But sooner or later, they're going to start interpreting this attention as a sign that the man does not believe he deserves her, and must compensate for his own personal deficiencies with flattery and gifts.
What ultimately satisfies women more than anything else is when you can by your behavior instill in them the belief that you have chosen them when you could have chosen any other woman instead.
When a woman asks for "space", it is usually because they feel like you have stopped being the strong, independent man who chose her, and have instead become a man who feels "lucky" to be with her. As a result, she is considering breaking up with you. Whether she realizes it or not, the "space" she is asking for is really a test to see whether you believe you are fortunate to have her, or she is fortunate to have you.
By utterly refusing to initiate any contact with her, you are sending a strong message that your belief is the latter, and, thereby, you maximize the chances that she will choose to continue her relationship with you.
I am extremely confident in my advice. Should you choose to pursue another course of action, I feel you are making a terrible mistake and sabotaging any chance you have to retain her. Ultimately, though, what you truly need to do is to believe in your own mind that she is lucky to have you, and then to behave as such. If you don't believe that, sooner or later she will realize it, and her interest in you will once again fade.
Best Wishes,
Arbiter |
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| astroboy |
| I've read this entire thread and agree totally with diginut, seems like we share the same view of female psychology when it comes to relationships |
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| astroboy |
Nice post Arbiter!
Men constructed by women... brilliant!! Looks like the tables have turned on us guys, for years women have been cnstructed by patriarchal society now they're doing the same thing to us! :whip: :whip: |
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| DigiNut |
Very well said, Arbiter.
I think what this guy will probably do is stop calling her for a few days, rush to answer the phone whenever it rings, give off a disappointed sigh when it's not his g/f, and sulk for the rest of the day. Then when she calls, she'll just say something like "how's it going" or "wanna get some lunch" and he'll cave in instantly and start showering her with attention again.
And sometimes this'll work temporarily - for a few days, even a few weeks maybe - but it is an illusion. Following that course of action only proves one's worth as a doormat, and she'll get bored again very quickly.
But hey, don't take my word for it... see for yourselves... betcha this thread resurfaces in less than 5 days with a glorious story about how they worked everything out and are now happily back together... and then gets bumped another 5 days later to say she dumped him. :p :p :rolleyes:
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Off the record, I don't believe that women were ever oppressed or constricted by 'patriarchal' society (at least not in the 20th century). There were plenty of women who worked - it's appalling how many people believe the feminist tripe without doing any personal investigation of how society was actually structured back then. Feminism just predicated itself on the belief that women who didn't work were worthless to society. If we're going by that logic, might as well abolish maternity leave! |
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| Vivid Boy |
| "im gonna play hard to get im gonna get her back just watch me" bah ur a sucker...ull never get her back..u should have grabbed her by the hair when u went out for dinner...now ur ed |
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| DigiNut |
| quote: | Originally posted by Vivid Boy
"im gonna play hard to get im gonna get her back just watch me" bah ur a sucker...ull never get her back..u should have grabbed her by the hair when u went out for dinner...now ur ed |
Actually, you just reminded me about the dinner thing...
Dude, why didn't you break up with her then? Damn, you really are a sucka! You should've waited for the meals to be ordered, then walked off, left her to pay the bill! That would've been hilarious, and I'll bet you any money she'd have called back the next day too! |
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| Vivid Boy |
| not only that but u could have taken ur meal with u...ur a sucker...u truly are a sucker... im gonna play hard to get...why dontu play hard to stand and slap the bitch around a bit |
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| djeso |
| quote: | Originally posted by DJ Sunburn
So I've been in a relationship for a year now with a girl I love more than anything.
We've been through our ups and downs, but we've had so many good moments that just couldn't ever be replaced.
She's the type of girl that never leaned too much on other people. Just me. She loved the attention I gave her, and love. She never liked girls very much, because of the numerous amount of backstabs they have done to her. So she focused more on guy friends.
Two weeks ago she decided she wanted some space so I gave it to her. She didn't have anybody else she was really interested in. She just wanted to boot old habits we had in our relationship (talking on the phone too much) etc...
But a few days later, she met a guy named Ben. She allowed him to come over to her house and stuff and they chilled. Of course, I didn't like this very much.
Ben is head over heals for Christina. Which is odd considering they just met. He tells her he loves her, gives her flowers, cards, and roses. He takes her places. He's real nice.
BUT HE JUST MET HER! And looking through his online journal, it's easy to say that he's this way with every girl he friggin meets!
There's another guy that takes her home in the afternoon from school. His name's Michael. Every day they hang out after school.
Christina used to be all over me and adored me all the time. But this change in her happened so fast where it seems like she just doesn't care anymore. She's got this new freedom.
And she's the type of person that would get mad if I hung out with other girls.
I miss her terribly. She's always hanging out with her new friends, and I want my relationship back with her! She used to be the most loving person towards me. And now she tells me about how she enjoys cuddling with her new guy friends and such and its just a slap in the face to me. argh....
This is not her at all! I don't see how she could hurt me like this!
What do I do? I want her back!!! |
I know the feeling, experienced similar thing myself ... but it's her choice and not yours, I don't think you'd really want her back though, unless you're up for a one way street relationship. She used to be you said, but it looks like she isn't the same anymore. Sometimes people change, and nothing you can do about it but move on. I don't think it's nice of her telling you how she likes cuddling with other guys, that she should've kept to herself, because it looks like she's just trying to hurt you, or just push you away.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do, go with the flow, don't force anything ... it's never worth it
Peace |
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