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Sex yet still just friends - possible? (pg. 2)
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| Sand Leaper |
| quote: | Originally posted by ahlamalek
i really can't understand this, how can two people who are very good friends each other without any feelings for the other. Its hypocrite. |
That all depends what sex means to you as a person. To you it is a profound action that shows that you dedicate yourself to the one you love etc. For others it isn't that way. Does that make them hypocritical? No. I think it's rather you having a problem with other ppl not thinking sex is such a big and monumental thing like you believe it to be. (Not that there is anything wrong with thinking that:)) |
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| Orbax |
| quote: | Originally posted by j_spot
Sex between friends usually gets messy
very messy |
Especially if they are trying to eat popcorn while watching a movie. |
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| sykadelik |
| I have never been mates with a lass that I haven't ragged, so no i don't reackon its possible :p |
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| DigiNut |
Pretty silly question, if you ask me. "Friends" is basically society's definition of love without sex - what else would you call it?
Sex is a physical act. "Friends", "love", "relationship", all of those things are just words, definitions, they vary from person to person and society to society. I'm rather surprised to hear you say that it depends how you define "sex" - sex is a physical reality, it's all that other garbage that's in your head.
Essentially, people who ask this question are asking how successful they'd be at getting sex with no commitment. Well my answer to that would be, not very, unless it's a one-night stand (read: unless the two people don't see each other regularly). It all goes back to our biological imperatives, really - sex leads to pregnancy (condoms are a technological invention which basically oppose the forces of nature), so human brain chemistry tends to form an emotional attachment to the "lover" in order to take care of the kids. |
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| ahlamalek |
i understand what you're saying.
I should've detailed a bit more.
When you're good friend with someone, you like his/her personality, you like hanging around with him/her, etc. When you have sex with a friend, you can say also that you like his/her physical appearance.
Liking someone's personality, mingled with good sex, its so easy to develop feelings for the other and feel love... its only a small notch above. |
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| Sand Leaper |
| quote: | Originally posted by DigiNut
"Friends" is basically society's definition of love without sex - what else would you call it?
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Is it? Is sex really the only thing that separates a gf/bf relationship from a friendship? I have a hard time believing that.
| quote: | I'm rather surprised to hear you say that it depends how you define "sex" - sex is a physical reality, it's all that other garbage that's in your head.
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I didn't say how you define sex. I said what sex means to you as a person, which is different. Definition of sex is what you consider to be sex and not, where as what it means to you is what feelings you have towards it, which views you have on its various aspects etc, how monumental you consider it to be etc.
| quote: |
Essentially, people who ask this question are asking how successful they'd be at getting sex with no commitment. Well my answer to that would be, not very, unless it's a one-night stand (read: unless the two people don't see each other regularly). It all goes back to our biological imperatives, really - sex leads to pregnancy (condoms are a technological invention which basically oppose the forces of nature), so human brain chemistry tends to form an emotional attachment to the "lover" in order to take care of the kids. |
That was my thought as well, but I have heard of cases where friends were sexual partners for a longer period of time, and when the other party got into a real relationship, it ended with no complications what so ever. While I deemed it very unlikely, it shows that some people can have a sex life yet at the same time keeping the emotional aspect (i.e. love) at bay. This way they fulfill each other's need for sex and all that comes with it, yet without the complications of potential emotional issues.
Of course, this is very rare, since sex as an act in 90% of the cases envokes feelings in one party sooner or later, but it still happens, and I just wanted to see if anyone had experience/thoughts etc. on this issue, since it breaks the usual norm that sex in this form (drunk shags and the likes are another issue of course) belongs to a couple that has mutual feelings for each other, and that the need for sex can be fulfilled without having to go through the emotional issue at the same time. |
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| TheatreBaby |
| It can be done...but both parties have to be ready to handle it. Its not always easy. But fun as . My best friend and I did it. We always knew we'd be bests friends, so we figured it would be fun. He's the guy i feel most comfortable around which means we tried so much stuff that i prolly wouldn't have tried with another guy, cause i woulda been to nervous. We just stoped having sex recently, and we are still best friends. We can sleep in the same bed and not wanna . Or we can sleep in the same bed and . It just depends on our moods. I think its an awesome experience. But not every one can handle it. But in my case it made us closer! |
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| MERTON |
| howabout just being close freinds that ? if you're friends you're already attached to each other. you would just be freindly to each other and not have silly expectations of presents and other strainfull requirements that you've been tought to go after in a sexual relationship. the only problem would you wouldn't want to give each other up.. so don't let the other person go... just have a nice relaxed monogomus sexual friendship. |
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| swisstoni |
| quote: | Originally posted by sykadelik
I have never been mates with a lass that I haven't ragged, so no i don't reackon its possible :p |
LMFAO! nicely put sy. I am getting to that stage with male friends too. I have never understood what is wrong with buddies. But if it a real close mate, one that knowes nasty about you, then leave it at that i say. Otherwise, whats wrong?
And btw, no, birds don't always get attached. Only the really ing stupid ones which shows they prolly aren't worth a toss neway :p
thats harsh :whip: |
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| superglo |
| if only my friends thought like you ..yumm . |
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| Omegasox |
| quote: | Originally posted by DigiNut
"Friends" is basically society's definition of love without sex - what else would you call it?
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I don't agree. Loving a friend is different from loving a girlfriend. They may share the same word, but the feelings involved are not the same. They shouldn't even share the same word, but that's just another hinderance of language. |
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