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Sex yet still just friends - possible? (pg. 3)
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| DigiNut |
| quote: | Originally posted by Omegasox
I don't agree. Loving a friend is different from loving a girlfriend. They may share the same word, but the feelings involved are not the same. They shouldn't even share the same word, but that's just another hinderance of language. |
What exactly are you defining "friend" and "girlfriend" as? I mean, what's the difference between a friend and a girlfriend, other than the sex? Yeah I know, "love", whoopie , care to define that for me?
Well, I can define it: insecurity. Now, I am by no means saying that a monogamous relationship (with or without the actual marriage) automatically implies insecurity. But people come to define "love" as the puppy love, that sort of sick desperation in the first few months of a relationship where you aren't sure if you can hold things together but you really want to. I think you'll find that with age (or rather, maturity, but the closest objective measurement of that is age), people become less inclined to throw that word around, because they realize that love is actually a different emotion for every person they're with.
Ask the "players" if they have any feelings for the girls they sleep with - some of them will say they love all of them. No, it's not the same love you had for your first girlfriend when you thought that the potential of a breakup would mean the end of the world. But it's what they call love.
Sand Leaper: again, this entire question revolves around playing semantics with the word "friends." IMO, when people do the nasty, they aren't just friends anymore. If you're on someone's "just friends" list, it means they're not attracted to you and you're never going to score. If they're screwing you and claim that you two are "just friends", what it really means is, I'll take what I can get for now, but I really think I can do better (i.e. hotter/richer/better in bed). Sorry, but that's the harsh reality. |
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| ahlamalek |
diginut: exactly.
For example you take TheatreBaby story, to me it really sound like a bf/gf relation, but these people are just lying to themselves about it. Affraid of the boyfriend/girlfriend word, to which you could add non-monogameousality.
but then you have bf/gf who are in a non-monogamous relationship. |
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| TheatreBaby |
| We already did the bf/gf thing...it just didn't work as well as the best friend thing. Now we don't even , just friends. We've each been with others since then. We're still best friends. |
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| DigiNut |
| quote: | Originally posted by TheatreBaby
We already did the bf/gf thing...it just didn't work as well as the best friend thing. Now we don't even , just friends. We've each been with others since then. We're still best friends. |
Well, how out of the ordinary is that?
Once a couple, then you break up, stay cool with each other and be "friends." It happens all the time. That part is usually harder for the guys than the gals, but lots of us can still do it. |
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| LiquidX |
| - Well.. I dont know, but I think its possible. Like, my ex came up with this idea and stuff. But theres no way we are coming back.. but its like we get together sats. and have some fun.. I dont like the idea and stuff, but I think that the reason for it, is because we've known each other, and we do love each other, even if we arent going out. So that friends stuff is still open.. meaning, I dont know why I posted this.. maybe because it could only work if the type of friendship is more then just friends, but no more then g/f and b/f. |
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| DJ_NRG |
| quote: | Originally posted by montie
if both people are fully capable of understanding a difference between making love and ing. |
Reminds me of a joke I heard once:
What's the difference between "making love" and "ing"?
Making love is what the girl's doing while you're ing her :D:toothless |
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| MERTON |
| just go to goodvibes.com ... you'll get all the sex you want with no love at all:D |
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| UWM |
I will say that this is definitely a possible thing. It can work quite well too, actually.
:thepirate |
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| YaleTrance |
Refer to Seinfeldian philosophy, season 2:
| quote: | | Jerry and Elaine ponder if sex between friends can work. They devise a plan with rules that will allow them to enjoy the benefits of friendship and the perks of sex together. The ground rules they set include that spending the night over is optional and you don't have to call the day after. These rules are to prevent the typical awkward situations that plague sexual relationships. George hears of the rules and is intrigued. At first he thinks the deal can not work but ultimately he is amazed. He asks Jerry for details about the relation with Elaine. He squirts a container of ketchup in the air as Jerry gets to a particularly interesting part. Things are working out well for Elaine and Jerry until Elaine's birthday comes. Jerry gives her cash. Kramer listens in on what Elaine has been hinting that she has been wanting and gets her a fold out (stool or bench?) |
:disbelief
That's how it is, just mutually set some guidelines and rules. Be careful not to it up, you are a lucky guy! |
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| BTG |
the amount of friends like that i had when i had pink hair, holy .
maybe i should get my hair pink again;) |
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| MERTON |
| more girls should have pink hair |
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| DjGrl2000 |
| quote: | Originally posted by Sand Leaper
Is it possible for two friends to be sex partners yet not developing their personal relationship any further than just friendship? There are certain risks involved of course. The intimacy of it all might turn the feelings of one part around to wanting it to be more than friendship after, and then there's the usual risks that sex in general involves, which could be turn out to be very different since the people involved are just friends.
But it is doable, or will it just be a matter of time before things eventually evolve into a gf/bf relationship?
I was just pondering this the other day, so any thoughts on this matter would be welcome.
PS. Take the debate on whether sex between friends is OK or not in another thread,thanks. ;) |
usually one of the people involved end up getting extreme feelings for the other person, which tends to end in heartbreak. be careful if you choose to be a friend with benefits. |
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