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Did I Fuck Up? [another girl advice thread]
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| DJMikeyP |
Ok so in a nutshell me and this girl are getting along very well. We spend alot of time kissing, hugging, going out places, spending all night talking in the car. A few times the making out gets a little heavy and obviously I started it.
So anyways cut to our first night together in a hotel. Cool night, then the next morning everything *seems* good. We kiss, run our seperate ways (off to class)... I see her in our mutual class, shes nice to me, she calls me at home that day to say hi...
Then I call her about 2 frikkin days later, she doesn't answer my call. I see her at school 3 days later, she is pissed-looking at me. After class is out, she says she wants to break up because I 'only think about sex'. Thats it - thats her only reason. We've had sex 1 time, and the other dates we went on were so NOT about sex until the end when we made out a little, and even then I only started up the heavy petting sessions a couple of times. She said the main reason was because the next morning she was sniffling a little, and I mentioned it was too bad we didn't wake up earlier or we could have had sex again before class. She said this proved to her that I only think about my dick and am not interested in her.
I just don't get it. If I didn't think she was too sniffly for sex, that doesn't mean I don't care about her - it just means I wanted some. Its not like she TOLD me she was too sick for it and I argued. Is this for real? What did I do wrong? My friend says its because I waited 2 days to call her after sex and broke some kind of 'golden rule', which I can accept... But does that sound right to you?
Thanks for any advice peeps. By the way I don't want her back, this seems too whacked to deal with. Just wondering so I can avoid the same 'mistake' in the future.
Mike |
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| Warez Guy |
| Yah that chick seems ed up. It seems like you didn't pressure her into sex, she wanted it just as bad as you did. Who knows whats going through her head. Just stay as far away from her as possible and move on. |
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| Yo_Mo |
In her mind she was expecting you to call the next day and not 2 days later. Because you took longer than what she wanted, it seemed to her that you were just using her for sex.
However that's not the case according to what you wrote. But to her it is.
Since you said you don't really want her anymore, just forget about it and go on. |
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| Mister_Michel |
| quote: | Originally posted by Yo_Mo
In her mind she was expecting you to call the next day and not 2 days later. Because you took longer than what she wanted, it seemed to her that you were just using her for sex.
However that's not the case according to what you wrote. But to her it is.
Since you said you don't really want her anymore, just forget about it and go on. |
Exactly |
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| NY1004 |
I can totally relate to where she is coming from. I think she is feeling insecure about whether you just want her for sex or for something more. So just try to be more alert on what you say. Try NOT to mention sex with her the next time and prove to her that you do genuinely want to spend some quality time with her.
But anywayz I think its stupid that the girl always waits for the guy to make the next move. Sheesh its the freakin 21st century ladies!! |
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| DJ RozzeR |
| Lol, typical women, I guess she is more right than you, if you have just had sex fo the first time things get complicated , to you it might be just another lay with a girl you have shared a few laughs with, to her it means a whole lot more, if u said that ill call u in a few days then fair enough, i would definatley ring her the next day to have a quick chat and if she was ok and shiet, i guess its too late now, another thing is that girls chat to each other about sex and men everyday , and i bet one of her friends has said he is just after a easy lay, id try letting her know that you have been an arsehole, apologise buy her some flowers and hope she forgives you, if not then im sure there is plenty more booty out there and take it as a lesson |
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| DJMikeyP |
Yeah i'm definitely moving on here... I'm not going to try and go down the 'yes dear' road.. You know what I'm talking about - where you have to worry and watch every little thing you do because you're always afraid the girl is going to get mad. I feel like I proved to her more than enough that I actually cared for her, so if shes that stupid, her. I want a girl whos comfortable with sex and sex talk... If I go back to this one, I won't be able to be myself, especially considering I hadn't even been bringing it up that much.
BTW its so damn funny how she's so insecure about my motives - the girl from japan, taking school here off a green card. At best I considered it fun with someone I liked... So besides the fact that I wasn't using her for sex and I actually enjoyed her company, its like why do you need a serious relationship so bad when you don't even live here.
Thanks guys |
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| Mod1 |
| if she really seemed to like you, i think leaving it for two days to call her, esp if you had been seeing a lot of her was a big mistake.. |
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| StereoPrincess |
How old are you guys?
Because it seems like she wasn't ready to sleep with you yet. And she was having second thoughts about ever doing it again. It seems like there is a deeper meaning to what she is saying are the reasons she doesn't want to see you anymore. |
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| Echo of Silence |
| quote: | Originally posted by DJMikeyP
Yeah i'm definitely moving on here... I'm not going to try and go down the 'yes dear' road.. You know what I'm talking about - where you have to worry and watch every little thing you do because you're always afraid the girl is going to get mad. I feel like I proved to her more than enough that I actually cared for her, so if shes that stupid, her. I want a girl whos comfortable with sex and sex talk... If I go back to this one, I won't be able to be myself, especially considering I hadn't even been bringing it up that much.
BTW its so damn funny how she's so insecure about my motives - the girl from japan, taking school here off a green card. At best I considered it fun with someone I liked... So besides the fact that I wasn't using her for sex and I actually enjoyed her company, its like why do you need a serious relationship so bad when you don't even live here.
Thanks guys |
wow, that last paragraph is almost offensive to me. What does the fact that she's from another country have to do with anything? And why does her reaction to your lack of follow-up make you think that she "needs a serious relationship so bad?"
I'm from another country and I don't "need" anything.
However, if I spent a lot of time becoming intimate with you (talking, sharing, touching, kissing, hugging, going out, making out) and the intimacy evolved into sex, I imagine that I would be pissed if you didn't call for 2 days. Just seems a little inconsiderate? I guess the only time I would find it acceptable for you not to call for two days is during finals week.
I'm 18 by the way. Maybe I would respond differently if I were older?
So yeah, you blew it with your little "foreigner." :rolleyes: Move on, its easier. Don't bother to apologize for being a slightly insensitive dick. IMO, she's better off without you. Next time, if you're actually interested in continuing what you've started, call and be more attentive after the big moment. :) |
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| igottaknow |
| ^--- I'm a guy but i have to take the girl's side on this one. You have sex with her in a hotel wakeup in the morning and tell her its too bad you couldn't knock another one out b4 checking out. Jesus did u give her some money to complete the whole transaction, making her feel like a complete whore? They say u remember ur first for the rest of your life, poor girl. :( |
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| whiskers |
let's stereotype a little
most girls think that all guys want is sex. there are 2 stereotypes in the previous sentence.
the last time i heard the statement that "all guys want is sex" from a girl, she went on to bang her friend's boyfriend while having a 'thing' with another guy 'at the same time' (not an threesome, just cheating). but of course, she could be lying just like that chick in American Beauty.
so yeah. i'd stay away from those girls who think that all guys want is sex. they still have quite a lot to learn in life. relationships are all good unless they're totally based on making out and sex, then they kinda tend to fall apart, you know. :rolleyes: |
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