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Poems ... ??? anyone (pg. 5)
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| Dj Dovla |
| one long ass poem .... but worth reading , its more a short story isnt'it?, |
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| Syphiux |
Elfs:
The elfs lives in the land of the flowers
Like dreams live in the land where we sleep
And each time we dream
The elfs fly over, and dances on flowers, gras and on water
I translated it from norwegain and this is how it sounds in norwegain:
Alvene:
Alvene bor i blomstenes land
Som drømmene bor i det land hvor vi sover
Og hver gang vi drømmer
Flyr alvene over og danser på blomster, på gress og på vann
I wrote this poem when i was 5 or 6 years old. I still kinda like it. |
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| Cosmic |
| quote: | Originally posted by mezzir
roses are red
violets are blue
i hate poems that don't rhyme:p |
I thought it went like this:
Roses are red
Your eyes are green
I love your legs and whatis in between |
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| trancepixie17 |
**Speed**
The weightlessness from the speed
sends my mind into an endless pleasure you see
left to right and back again
All you can see is the tip and the end
the rhythm carries your body into a pulse
sends your mind up to heaven above
the roar of the crowd as your roll comes in
makes you move faster and faster again
the sweat rolling down your face, now so close
moves your hands as you become one with the band
the last notes come into place
as your body trembles, you've won the race
** for the love of my drums...i write this as a rule of thumb** |
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| EvilTree |
| quote: | Originally posted by davinox
The Artist, The Youth, The Philosopher
Who am I to say what is right or wrong?
Who am I to judge another person,
Their life, their experience, and their views?
But then, why can’t I judge? Why judge my own
Judgment? It’s all very confusing and
Playing with words grows tiresome. The boy
Is still young and has much playing to do. |
Compare that, to this.
| quote: | Who am I to say what is right or wrong?
Who am I to judge another person,
Their life, their experience and their views?
But then, why can’t I judge?
Why judge my own judgment?
It’s all very confusing
And playing with words grows tiresome.
The boy is still young
And has much playing to do. |
Since you broke your 7 lines per stanza thing on the last one anyways, I rearranged the last stanza and made it a bit longer.
Looks neater and to say out loud. :) |
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| EvilTree |
| quote: | Originally posted by trancepixie17
**Speed**
The weightlessness from the speed
sends my mind into an endless pleasure you see
left to right and back again
All you can see is the tip and the end
the rhythm carries your body into a pulse
sends your mind up to heaven above
the roar of the crowd as your roll comes in
makes you move faster and faster again
the sweat rolling down your face, now so close
moves your hands as you become one with the band
the last notes come into place
as your body trembles, you've won the race
** for the love of my drums...i write this as a rule of thumb** |
Same comment for yours. Rearranging the words probably would make your poem more effective.
Unless you have specific reason why you'd arrange words in this fashion, should avoid it if possible. |
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| trancepixie17 |
| quote: | Originally posted by EvilTree
Same comment for yours. Rearranging the words probably would make your poem more effective.
Unless you have specific reason why you'd arrange words in this fashion, should avoid it if possible. |
** What exactly did I neglect to see or do? |
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| igottaknow |
Recently I have begun to believe,
Much to my chagrin and dread,
That the world of sensible poetry
Is on the brink of being dead.
I'm working on another poem entitled...
"How did I love your sister? Let me count the ways ..." |
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| ToAd@* |
Alone in this world,
she starts to cry
All she can think about
is her next high
The feeling of freedom and ecstasy,
her mind clouds her from reality
She tilts her head back
she closes her eyes
all the hurt inside
crumbles and dies
But in this time of need
she cries and pleads
She would do anything,
even get on her knees
The hurt inside has turned her to ice
Sober and clean-
wouldn't that be nice..
=sammee |
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| Vivid Boy |
owe to ur mother
ur mom so sweet so tender
blowjobs like a blender
can not see her for 3 weeks cause ive been on a bender
come over and still expect to bend her
feet in the air
cum covering up her receeding hair
so wide she masturbates with the foot of a chair
oh how i love your mother
in one hand ur lunch in the other
i broke the rubber so how do u feel abt havin another lil brother
waving u off to class, while i still got my dick in her ass
drives u to soccer, other moms call her the
owe to ur mom so tender and sweet
jerkin me off with the bunyans of her feet
giving me a full body rub
while i pour out a bit whiskey to my homies above
owe to your mom
never spits always swallows
ur dad throws fits but wallows in his own sorow
owe to ur mom |
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| Mr. Pink |
| quote: | Originally posted by LiL_Kandi_AngeL
yes i liked them :)
i love all poems :) |
what do you think about the owe to your mother poem?
i bet you just love that one :tongue3 |
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| igottaknow |
| quote: | Originally posted by Vivid Boy
owe to ur mom... |
eric didnt know u were such a sensative poet, girls just eat this up. |
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