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TOTA Gay Thread (pg. 5)
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| DC- |
| quote: | Originally posted by Arsondude2.0
This thread is funny. Gay here, but i stick to the gay parties because well you can be yourself there. Mainstream clubs are a place for the mainstream...to me thats icky. Anyway i like the conversations in this thread...very openminded.
Arsondude |
I am curious as to why you feel you can't be 'yourself' at a 'mainstream' club? If you're going to a club event for the music, then why is this even an issue? Clubs attract all sorts of shapes, sizes and sexual preferences. |
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| samhouse |
I can't answer for him but i know for a fact that alot of my gay friends who dont frequent mainstream "straight" clubs is exactly because they cannot be themselves. While it is a well accepted fact that guys and girls get "along" very well in mainstream clubs...gay guys are usualy scorned upon and given dirty looks and in some very rare (im yet to see one personally) cases given some unecessary verbal abuse.
Most gay guys i know at straight clubs are alot more reserved than usual and that is not being themselves. However they adapt for the "sake of the music".
Once again i cannot speak for everyone, thats just my view on it. |
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| amb_ |
| quote: | Originally posted by DC-
I am curious as to why you feel you can't be 'yourself' at a 'mainstream' club? If you're going to a club event for the music, then why is this even an issue? Clubs attract all sorts of shapes, sizes and sexual preferences. |
Agreed... |
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| Moral Hazard |
| quote: | Originally posted by MarkT
Many of my gay friends won't go near places like Guv or System, |
Really? I've been hit on by guys at system so many times it makes me wonder whether or not they know something I don't. I'm straight but I've been hit on by quite a few gay/bi men (I didn't bother to ask any of them which they were) and most of them have been at System. Now, most of these incidents happened three to five years ago so maybe things have changed.... |
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| kabelicious |
| quote: | Originally posted by samhouse
I can't answer for him but i know for a fact that alot of my gay friends who dont frequent mainstream "straight" clubs is exactly because they cannot be themselves. While it is a well accepted fact that guys and girls get "along" very well in mainstream clubs...gay guys are usualy scorned upon and given dirty looks and in some very rare (im yet to see one personally) cases given some unecessary verbal abuse.
Most gay guys i know at straight clubs are alot more reserved than usual and that is not being themselves. However they adapt for the "sake of the music".
Once again i cannot speak for everyone, thats just my view on it. |
Yeah, I can understand that. As a former resident of P-town (the gay mecca of New England) on Cape Cod, I have been to many gay & straight clubs and it's true - especially for gay men. It's uber hard to try to be yourself because there is awlways at least one or two straight men who are insecure about their manhood (or their own sexuality) and give them /try to start crap. It's worse at a club because people are drinking or otherwise ed up and the id comes out more.
As a gay woman, (or half gay as you prefer) I know exactly why you don't go to straight clubs to be gay.....you cannot find a relationship in a straight bar when you're gay. And, granted, that's not the main reason I go out to the clubs but if you're looking for a special someone, chances are you won't find it at a straight club but you will at a gay one. In three years of going to straight clubs again, I have found ONE gay woman for a date - ONE. They are seperate social circles due to this - however secondary it may seem, it does apply. I would not go to a gay club looking for a man either - it works both ways. But I have been ridiculed, leered, pointed at, called names at and even shoved around at a straight bar when I was out with a female date.
The world is getting more tolerant, but we're not quite there yet. Someday, I hope we will get to a point where we no longer care about someone's sexuality and just see people as who they are - regardless of their equipment. |
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| amb_ |
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
Really? I've been hit on by guys at system so many times it makes me wonder whether or not they know something I don't. |
Sorry about that dude. :) |
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| amb_ |
| quote: | Originally posted by kabelicious
The world is getting more tolerant, but we're not quite there yet. Someday, I hope we will get to a point where we no longer care about someone's sexuality and just see people as who they are - regardless of their equipment. |
People are people so why should it be
You and I should get along so awfully
I can't understand what makes a man
Hate another man, help me understand |
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| Moral Hazard |
| quote: | Originally posted by amb_
Sorry about that dude. :) |
Was it you????
Seriously, it doesn't bother me if a guy hits on me... I look at it the same way as if a woman I'm not interested in hits on me... I'm flattered but politely reject. Except this one guy at a bar in Guelph, he just wouldn't take no for an answer, he kept trying to convince me how great it was to be gay and how men are so much better at pleasing men then women are. It was really annoying. |
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| amb_ |
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
Was it you????
Seriously, it doesn't bother me if a guy hits on me... I look at it the same way as if a woman I'm not interested in hits on me... I'm flattered but politely reject. Except this one guy at a bar in Guelph, he just wouldn't take no for an answer, he kept trying to convince me how great it was to be gay and how men are so much better at pleasing men then women are. It was really annoying. |
Who knows, it could've been :toothless ... I've been known to become fairly brave after a number of beers :)
Addressing your second point, there are some guys out there who seem to be into the "challenge" of convincing a straight guy to sleep with him. Not very social behaviour to say the least, but is parallelled by the camp of straight males who go out with "conquest" sex as their objective... |
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| Jem_hadar |
Last couple times ive been at Guv ive had a couple gay guys hitting on me...
the funniest was the latest when i was out for Armin... he intercepted me on the way to the washroom and was pretty intense, didnt bother me tho. (its the beads i often wear... they seem to send out a signal that theres a greater possibility that ill be gay or something, i dunno :conf: )
to be honestly, i prefer they way gays seem to operate (from whut i know from being around my gay friedsn in TO)
they are FAR more direct then girls and appear willing to take more chances in just making a move (but maye thats more a guy thing vs. a girl thing than it is a gay thing vs. a straight thing)
i wish girls would be that direct if they see a guy they like and are interested... it freakin' great not always worrying about making the stupid first move!!!
~Jem~ |
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| VERTiG0 |
| quote: | Originally posted by kabelicious
As a gay woman, (or half gay as you prefer) I know exactly why you don't go to straight clubs to be gay.....you cannot find a relationship in a straight bar when you're gay. And, granted, that's not the main reason I go out to the clubs but if you're looking for a special someone, chances are you won't find it at a straight club but you will at a gay one. In three years of going to straight clubs again, I have found ONE gay woman for a date - ONE. |
Uhh, I don't know why you'd go to a club looking for a relationship anyway. I sure has hell don't go to Guv or anywhere looking to pick up girls, because its nearly pointless. Clubs are nothing more than meat markets, not places to find a relationship. |
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| kabelicious |
| quote: | Originally posted by VERTiG0
Uhh, I don't know why you'd go to a club looking for a relationship anyway. I sure has hell don't go to Guv or anywhere looking to pick up girls, because its nearly pointless. Clubs are nothing more than meat markets, not places to find a relationship. |
Sorry, I should have said bars, parties, social gatherings, etc. - been more broad. However, when you're new to a city and you want to get back into the "gay scene", nothing is better than bars/clubs. Historically (like prior to the 80/90's), before the whole "I'm coming out trend", bars and clubs were how you found other gay people to be with. There wasn't some secret handshake or anywhere "safe" you could really hang out - and forget anywhere public. You'd be lynched if you were lucky. Hence, for the gay social scene, bars and clubs are still the places where you find friends/relationships these days.
And no, I don't go to the clubs to find a relationship but it does create a social circle that once you're in, you might just find someone. |
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