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What NOT to say in Bed
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| DJ_Bananie |
| Ok... i thinking about this today, they should print a handbook of proper bedroom etiquette or something... so since i havn't been about to find a book about it, does anyone have any advice on what's good/bad? |
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| Xenocreator_PG_ |
| I just the bed? |
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| DannyO |
"I think I'll go back to masterbating"
"I need another drink, your starting to get ugly"
"well I can tell ya you didn't get your sex skills from your mum, THATS for sure"
"damn girl, if that got any worse, I'd probably turn gay"
"Do you have any STDs??, No?, well you do now" |
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| Dervish |
"Much as I'd like to pet, I rubbed one out to a picture of Jordan in the Sun while I was taking a . So I don't fancy it now."
"Can you use this on me?" *holding up a strap on*
"Wooooww that was a beut no more beans for me.... hold on... I think I.... yep... bastard followed through s sake" |
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| jonSun |
| I had this 1 girlfriend & the frist time we shacked up i found out that she squirted when she orgasmed. Well my ex b4 her did too. I was so amazed that I told her that she sprayed like my ex girlfrind Lisa. She wasnt too happy about that & went in the bathroom & cried. After about a 1/2 hour she forgave me though. |
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| Xenocreator_PG_ |
Female: Im actually a man! Youve been doing me in teh pooper for the last year!! :wtf:
Man: ......Shut up biatch & give me a gobbie! :wtf: |
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| Spacey Orange |
NEVER EVER compare your partner to someone else. If you must, lie like there's no tomorrow.
If you like to play in the mud, ask if other person likes it too, don't just go at it. |
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| Dervish |
| quote: | Originally posted by jonSun
I had this 1 girlfriend & the frist time we shacked up i found out that she squirted when she orgasmed. Well my ex b4 her did too. I was so amazed that I told her that she sprayed like my ex girlfrind Lisa. She wasnt too happy about that & went in the bathroom & cried. After about a 1/2 hour she forgave me though. |
LOL good one you hit three points there. :haha:
1) Hey honey that thing that makes you special my ex did that....
2) I've been squirted on by another girl.
3) Why yes this is the first time you have let me join you in a loving union did I mention I used to my ex so good she used to squirt.
Anyway there the common one that everyone does....
M"Ohh your on... I didn't realise..."
... *puppy dog eyes*
F"But I'm ON"
M"I know..."
... *look down at privates*
... *puppy dog eyes*
.... *points forlonly at privates*
.....M"Look bitch if I have to put up with your when your on the rag you better give me something in return.... so ing inconsiderate..... jeez. All you do is complain about these 'cramps' what about me.... ? |
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| Steven Hays |
YOU: [stop thrusting]"You don't have herpes do you?
HER: "No why?"
YOU: [wipe forehead]"Good, I don't want to get that again!"
YOU: "Does it mean I'm gay if I had sex with a man only one time?"
-This was in Maxim a while back. One of the ways to break up with your girlfriend... |
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| AlphaStarred |
"Oh, yes, Betty! Oh Debby!"
"Stop sucking already ffs!"
"Honey, stop humping your leg."
"stfu already and go to sleep, bitch."
"tonight you shall experience double penetration."
"please pass me her underwear."
"did you like it in the ear?"
"get the out of my bed and don't ever come back here again." |
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| tribu |
Sex with you is like masturbating with sandpaper.
This will end ANY relationship. You must trust me. |
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