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What NOT to say in Bed (pg. 2)
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| Sunsnail |
| quote: | Originally posted by tribu
Sex with you is like masturbating with sandpaper.
This will end ANY relationship. You must trust me. |
ouch, I believe it would too |
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| tribu |
| quote: | Originally posted by Sunsnail
ouch, I believe it would too |
The best is when she doesnt end it right away, and she drags it out painfully. Then, you act start over-acting in bed, so she starts to get self-concious, like 'is he faking it?...amI that bad?', and she starts to doubt her sexual abilities, and thus, herself. You can really destroy someone psychologically this way, so only use this in cases of extreme revenge. |
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| muckluck |
"Here's five bucks. I'll pay you the rest next week when I get my check."
"I always wondered what a six month old dead fish smelled like!"
"Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my RAGtime gal! Send me a kiss by wire, MY PENIS FEELS LIKE IT'S ON FIRE!"
"I've had better googlewhacks."
"Don't worry baby, you'll be able to handle all 25 1/2."
"It's not quite small enough to be classified as microscopic."
"Think of it this way baby: I'd be average if I were a Hobbit!"
You: "Was it good for you baby? And before you answer, keep in mind, I do get all my sexual advice from the trilobites over in the COR of www.tranceaddict.com."
Her: "It was most excellent, good sir, and your experience?
You: *gets out of bed*
You: "I always wondered what a six month old dead fish smelled like!"
Really avoid those. |
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| Eric Siefer |
"You dont want to have sex? Would you give me head?"
"Suck on it" (while pushing her head down) |
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| MeLLyMeL |
| quote: | Originally posted by Steven Hays
YOU: "Does it mean I'm gay if I had sex with a man only one time?"
-This was in Maxim a while back. One of the ways to break up with your girlfriend... |
LMFAO! That is def a no-no in the sack. |
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| igottaknow |
| quote: | Originally posted by DJ_Bananie
Ok... i thinking about this today, they should print a handbook of proper bedroom etiquette or something... so since i havn't been about to find a book about it, does anyone have any advice on what's good/bad? |
hit it or STFU bitch |
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| Nick Mimas |
Why coming up with all these excuses? One word...LEAVE!
Brother: Leave!
Hunny: Is my house
Brother: I aint gonna say it again |
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| igottaknow |
| quote: | Originally posted by Nick Mimas
Why coming up with all these excuses? One word...LEAVE!
Brother: Leave!
Hunny: Is my house
Brother: I aint gonna say it again |
:stongue: |
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| igottaknow |
i hurt myself laughing :haha: |
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| Minihero |
| #14 I found especially amusing :toothless |
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| MarathonMan |
You're good, but your mum was better!
* slap * |
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