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Cross cultural encounters at Cousins Subs a.k.a. "What it takes to yell at fat girls"
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| DJ RJT |
So I just went to Cousin's for a standard Cheese Steak (No tomato, add oil and oregano!) and found myself faced with a debacle of epic proportions.
It's a busy time at Cousins Subs Waukesha during the lunch hour, and today was no exception. I walk in and instantly notice that the woman in front of me is utterly ginormous, easily weighing in excess of 300 lbs. She also, happened to be black, and rather ghetto from the sounds of her and her friend discussing their cousin "Ray Ray" (No lie).
But I digress... I also noticed thereafter that the woman had dropped a $5 bill on the ground, and after a reasonable amount of time, when it had become clear she didn't realize her folly and no one else was going to point it out, I simply said:
"Excuse me Miss, I think you dropped $5."
Her response was expressed in what I can only describe as what I imagine it would be like if you tried to steal a baby hippo from it's mothers grasp.
"Huh?," she roared fiercely, "That's MY $5! I nee 'dat"
And with suprising agility she swooped down and snatched the bill from the floor. Her outburst had brought all communication to a halt in the very busy restaurant, and as soon as she realized people were just gawking at her wondering if she'd realize I wasn't trying to steal the $5, but return it to her, she uttered a very forced:
"Oh... thanks white boy." (Again, direct quote)
So fast forward 5 minutes, my order is ready and I'm heading to the door, and the hippo and her friend are directly behind me. As I believe chivalry MAY not be dead yet, I held the door for the gargantuan beast as a gesture of kindness. I you not, she stops IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DOOR and proceeds to look over everything in her bag. After far too long of a period of time, I just say " it" and let the door go and head to my car, and lo and behold the door hits her on her big fat ing ass. The hippo is enraged again.
Her and her friend make a b-line for their car, which is oddly parked right next to mine, and she proceeds to open her door, slamming it right into mine. I've finally just had it with these women, so before they can pull out, I pull my car back paralell with theirs (slanted parking, they had no where to go, and I was even with the fatty at this point), and roll down my window, and before they can even say anything I just say:
"People who are as disgustingly obese as you are can't afford to be complete ing cunts to anyone."
And as I heard the enraged mommapotomus start to say "What?!" I just started to drive away.
They followed me all the way back to the driveway of the Apartment complex and as soon as I put on the turn signal to turn into the lot, they drove by on my passenger side and all I saw was what appeared to be both of them screaming at me as hard as they could and 3 middle fingers.
Crazy bitches. |
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| UWM |
| Things like that are why Waukesha sucks at life. |
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| dj_bas |
Your stories are the best Rob! I love the vocabulary :haha:
"And with suprising agility she swooped down and snatched the bill from the floor." |
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| timmyboy2 |
| you have fat loud people yelling on the El and ive decided instead of just putting up with it i get right in there faces and say excuse me your talking too ing loud!! lower your ing voice!!!! |
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| Aureus |
| now you have insight into what dealing with our neighbors is like :nervous: |
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| Omega_Blue |
| what are you doing eating cousin's and stealing fat chick's money when you're supposed to be bed-ridden for months? :conf: |
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| DJ RJT |
| quote: | Originally posted by Omega_Blue
what are you doing eating cousin's and stealing fat chick's money when you're supposed to be bed-ridden for months? :conf: |
A man's gotta eat. 
As a side note: I set up decks where I can get at them whilst laying on the couch. :) |
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| UWM |
| Did you go to the Cousin's on 59? |
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| DJ RJT |
| quote: | Originally posted by UWM
Did you go to the Cousin's on 59? |
I went to the one on Moreland Rd. |
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| Renzo |
| In Miami, fat bitches get peed on. |
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| washout |
u know i just wrote a whole long post and realized it wasnt worth it.
people are fickle here and like to see only the negative.
with that said, people like that woman give the rest of their race a bad name.
and lastly, is this cousins place comparable to firehouse ?? |
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| DJ RJT |
| quote: | Originally posted by RJT
As a side note: I set up decks where I can get at them whilst laying on the couch. :) |
PS: There's something oddly soothing and pleasant about sitting cross legged on an ottoman and spinning. |
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