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Women who hit their kids in public...hot or not? (pg. 7)
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| pkcRAISTLIN |
| quote: | Originally posted by Omega_M
you are so wrong on that one. again, you seem to think that people who show willingness to hit children only want to disciple them through spanking and beating. |
you're forgetting gentle molestation. |
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| Omega_M |
| quote: | Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN
you're forgetting gentle molestation. |
haha..yeah.
| quote: | Originally posted by beats and beeps
my dad used to rape me in public |
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| Slylee |
| quote: | Originally posted by NeoPhono
What pisses me off is when people think that they can just sit down a kid and "talk to them" about why what they are doing is wrong, or other BS in every situation. Talking works perfectly well when two rational parties are involved, but kids...like animals, aren't rational (at least some of the time). |
yea and smacking them is so rational too right?
| quote: | | If I had a baby and I saw it was reaching for a hot burner on the stove, I'm going to slap its hand (lightly) to show a negative consequence for that action. No amount of talking is going to stop what they're doing. |
but why? especially with a baby...just grabbing their hand and giving them a loud, stern "NO" should do the trick, i promise. lol
| quote: | | If I had a kid that was throwing a hysterical fit, I'm not going to try to sit down and have a face to face with an them, I'm going to instill a "negative consequence." |
personally, i think you should let the kid throw his/her fit and instill negative consequences after, as in things like no desert for a week, no cartoons for a week. see the problem with little kids and punishment from parents is that they don't stick to their guns. you tell your kid he's not watching cartoons for a week, you should stick to it. and every time the kid whines about it, you ask him/her why he/she is not watching cartoons. make them answer the question with a "because i threw a fit in the store last wee" at which point you say, "that's right. this is what happens when you act like that"
it's really simple. it will make them think about WAY more than had you just wacked them on the ass and been done with it, i'm positive of this.
| quote: | | Now, don't me wrong, physical punishment should be a last resort, but is sometimes necessary. I wasn't the best kid growing up and I got my fair share of spankings and "time outs," and as said before, kids are smart. I learned that a "time out" meant going to my room, or somewhere else, and after a while my parents just ran out of patience and I usually was out of there in a few minutes. Or, I got a "stern talking to" during which I didn't pay attention and usually ended up laughing about it later. The fear, or threat, of a spank was much more of a deterrent than being sent to my room or being yelled at ever was. All that being said, I don't feel like I was abused or mistreated while I was growing up. I was a kid and I was treated like one. |
so in other words this validates my point i just made. it's your parents' fault for "running out of patience" and letting u come out of your room after a few minutes.
the problem is that parenting takes work and people are ing lazy. they dont want to follow through on their threats and the easy way out is to just smack them and be done with it.
smacking is the easy way out and that's the bottom line. |
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| Frenchie |
| When it comes to spanking, hard or soft is still spanking and it's still wrong. Yes, I do think that people who want to or are willing to hit their child will do it hard or close to it. not hard enough to kill them ( which does happen) but hard enough to scar them, emotionally, for life. When is the last time you heard of a parents, or guardian, softly hitting their child like wind through your hair, or sand through an hourglass? hmm HMMM?? Man, it's either you're naive or don't want to face the fact that this harms a child more than you would think. |
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| Omega_M |
hitting softly does not mean giving a light tap on the butt. it means giving a hard rap, only it stings for some time and does not create a wound.
well good luck with your attempts at not hitting the child. it sounds all moral and right atm. But your principles will be severely put to test at times. |
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| SuspicionVandit |
| pain does more talking than talking can talk. |
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| Frenchie |
| quote: | Originally posted by Omega_M
hitting softly does not mean giving a light tap on the butt. it means giving a hard rap, only it stings for some time and does not create a wound.
well good luck with your attempts at not hitting the child. it sounds all moral and right atm. But your principles will be severely put to test at times. |
and same to you, trying NOT to hit them. I've been looking after kids since I was 11. No they were not mine but I never ever felt the need to have to raise my hand to them. I've gotten upset, sure, but nothing like, "GET.OVER.HERE NOW. *SMACK*".
Abuse is abuse, I'm sorry. |
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| Frenchie |
| quote: | Originally posted by SuspicionVandit
pain does more talking than talking can talk. |
Verbal abuse hits harder. A bruise can heal, A bone can heal..but emotional scars...do not heal. |
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| Slylee |
oh and my mom's best friend has 2 kids whom i've pretty much watch grow up and used to babysit them a lot. they're like 14 and 12 now. but she never once laid a hand on those kids and they went through some pretty bratty phases too. they are the most well behaved kids now. she's an awesome parent. they have money and a beautiful home but neither one of those kids has their own computer or flat screen tv in their room or cell phones. and *gasp* she never hit them either.
and like frenchie said...she was a well-behaved kid and obviously she turned out to be a wonderful chick and she never got slapped.
the proof is in the pudding.
haha i can't believe i just said that.
i'm not saying that all kids who weren't slapped will turn out fine. i'm just saying no slapping combined with sticking to your guns and giving a and taking a interest in your kids is what makes good kids. |
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| Omega_M |
| quote: | Originally posted by Frenchie
Verbal abuse hits harder. A bruise can heal, A bone can heal..but emotional scars...do not heal. |
that puts the word "torture" in a whole new perspective. :stongue: |
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| Frenchie |
The simplest, " No, you cannot have that video game" or, " No, you can't go to Haliey's house today" can teach the the values of respect, patiences and not being a bratty kid. See, most terrible kids we hear about are the spiled Hiltonesk kids who's parents would rather go out and cheat on the wife than teach their little ones how to be a great kid. I was spoild 'till no tomorrow and I think I'm excellent, The family that Jamie talked about is the perfect example as well.
The people who agree with this whole,"slapping to be a good parent" thing, were you brought up in an unstable broken home at all? |
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