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Browsing through your SO's phone (pg. 7)
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| UWM |
In my opinion you shouldn't be doing things anyways that you'd want to hide from your spouse / SO on your phone (or anywhere else, for that matter).
When you get in a serious relationship you put your on the table, you don't hide it. Anything you're hiding is essentially lying to your partner and admitting to the fact that you're involved in something they may deem a large violation of trust and detrimental to the relationship. The relationship, at that point, is already in deep trouble. |
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| gehzumteufel |
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
smart cheater |
Oxymoronic much? lol seriously, almost all of them are ing dumb.
| quote: | Originally posted by UWM
In my opinion you shouldn't be doing things anyways that you'd want to hide from your spouse / SO on your phone (or anywhere else, for that matter).
When you get in a serious relationship you put your on the table, you don't hide it. Anything you're hiding is essentially lying to your partner and admitting to the fact that you're involved in something they may deem a large violation of trust and detrimental to the relationship. The relationship, at that point, is already in deep trouble. |
Exactly. |
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| Moral Hazard |
| quote: | Originally posted by gehzumteufel
Oxymoronic much? lol seriously, almost all of them are ing dumb.
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a former colleague of mine "neglected" to tell his wife about the quarterly bonus program at work... he put all that money into a secret account, which he used to pay his credit cards his wife knew nothing about (delivered to work). She didn't have a clue.
Note: I'm not saying I approve of such behaviour... just that it happens so one should not base their security in the fact that their parter doesn't appear to be hiding anything.
In truth, if you're suspicious then there is a problem... either with your partner or with you. |
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| gehzumteufel |
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
a former colleague of mine "neglected" to tell his wife about the quarterly bonus program at work... he put all that money into a secret account, which he used to pay his credit cards his wife knew nothing about (delivered to work). She didn't have a clue.
Note: I'm not saying I approve of such behaviour... just that it happens so one should not base their security in the fact that their parter doesn't appear to be hiding anything.
In truth, if you're suspicious then there is a problem... either with your partner or with you. |
That former colleague is also in the minority of the cheaters that is smart about it. I am not disillusioned that this does not happen (people that are need to get a wakeup call) but I am also aware that this is quite rare in the grand scheme of the general cheating population.
(Note response) I don't condone such behavior either, but 100% agree that there is a problem to begin with. :) |
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| Omega_Blue |
| quote: | Originally posted by UWM
In my opinion you shouldn't be doing things anyways that you'd want to hide from your spouse / SO on your phone (or anywhere else, for that matter).
When you get in a serious relationship you put your on the table, you don't hide it. Anything you're hiding is essentially lying to your partner and admitting to the fact that you're involved in something they may deem a large violation of trust and detrimental to the relationship. The relationship, at that point, is already in deep trouble. |
totally agree. the people in this thread that are getting pissed about their "privacy" being invaded are probably the ones that have/are ing around on their SO's
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
a former colleague of mine "neglected" to tell his wife about the quarterly bonus program at work... he put all that money into a secret account, which he used to pay his credit cards his wife knew nothing about (delivered to work). She didn't have a clue.
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i'm okay with this though, that's my in money and i'll do with it how i want to (unless my family/homelife is suffering because of it) |
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| gehzumteufel |
| quote: | Originally posted by Omega_Blue
the people in this thread that are getting pissed about their "privacy" being invaded are probably the ones that have/are ing around on their SO's |
Nope. Couldn't be further from the truth. Never have, and never will (I know never say never, blah blah.) The reason I am adamant about privacy, is because sometimes I have things I talk about with friends that I may not want told to others. Even if it is not something that is jeopardizing or anything to my relationship, it isn't necessarily something they should or need to know. |
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| Moral Hazard |
| quote: | Originally posted by Omega_Blue
i'm okay with this though, that's my in money and i'll do with it how i want to (unless my family/homelife is suffering because of it) |
We're talking like 50-80K a year that he hid from his wife and used to fund his drug use and affairs...
I really don't like the "my money" and "your money" thing when it comes to marriage. If marriage is supposed to be a partnership then you should be pooling your resources. The only reason to have your own money is that you don't trust your spouse or you're using it to act unilaterally when your spouse disapproves of something you want to buy/do; neither of these situations should exist in a marriage. |
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| gehzumteufel |
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
We're talking like 50-80K a year that he hid from his wife and used to fund his drug use and affairs...
I really don't like the "my money" and "your money" thing when it comes to marriage. If marriage is supposed to be a partnership then you should be pooling your resources. The only reason to have your own money is that you don't trust your spouse or you're using it to act unilaterally when your spouse disapproves of something you want to buy/do; neither of these situations should exist in a marriage. |
Aingmen on this. |
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| ChemEnhanced |
| I just don't let her have her own cell phone....if she wants to call someone she has to use mine.....besides there is no reason for her to call anyone...she should be too busy cooking and cleaning to be calling anyone. |
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| Omega_Blue |
| quote: | Originally posted by gehzumteufel
Nope. Couldn't be further from the truth. Never have, and never will (I know never say never, blah blah.) The reason I am adamant about privacy, is because sometimes I have things I talk about with friends that I may not want told to others. Even if it is not something that is jeopardizing or anything to my relationship, it isn't necessarily something they should or need to know. |
meh, fair enough
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
We're talking like 50-80K a year that he hid from his wife and used to fund his drug use and affairs...
I really don't like the "my money" and "your money" thing when it comes to marriage. If marriage is supposed to be a partnership then you should be pooling your resources. The only reason to have your own money is that you don't trust your spouse or you're using it to act unilaterally when your spouse disapproves of something you want to buy/do; neither of these situations should exist in a marriage. |
let me explain, and quickly since i'm already late for class
50-80K is ing huge, i was thinking more like 1 or 2 grand or something, extra "fun" money
i'm not saying i would necessarily lie about it, perhaps i would instead say "i have a $1000 bonus every year, but i use it for my own personal blah blah blah" or something like that. i'm sure in the end, most of the money would be spent on her anyways right
i'm also stating this as a person with no experience with marriage or a long term relationship with shared expenditures. i suppose if the situation arose i may feel otherwise. again 50-80K is huge, i don't even make that much a year, so it's hard for me to think about that situation. |
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| whiskers |
| quote: | Originally posted by ChemEnhanced
I just don't let her have her own cell phone....if she wants to call someone she has to use mine.....besides there is no reason for her to call anyone...she should be too busy cooking and cleaning to be calling anyone. |
:stongue: :stongue: :stongue:
No, why would I? Her phone, her privacy; she's her own person and can make her own decisions and have her secrets; going through the phone is borderline to installing a keylogger on her computer and starting to check her email.
In other words, if you don't trust someone enough NOT to check their phone, you should not be in a relationship. |
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| Moral Hazard |
| quote: | Originally posted by ChemEnhanced
she should be too busy cooking and cleaning to be calling anyone. |
:stongue: :stongue:
What's funny about this is that Chem does all the cooking and cleaning at his house. |
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