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Male-Female Friendships (pg. 4)
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| colonelcrisp |
| i have slept with two of my very close female friends now and honestly it has been good for the friendship since it got rid of all the sexual tension. I now know how awesome they are at playing skin flute and how good they are in bed so it is no longer a nagging question on my subconscious. Since it happened we have been better friends. |
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| boris_the_bear |
| quote: | A guy and a girl can only be friends if one of these three conditions are present:
1. The guy is gay
2. The guy doesn't find the girl attractive
3. The guy finds the girl attractive, but is currently doing better |
/thread |
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| Chimney |
The ladder theory is a funny, scientific explanation of how men and women
are attracted to each other. It also covers such topics as why women
sometimes just want to be friends but men always want sex. It is based upon
many years of sociological field testing, and was first conceptualized in
1994 in Exeter, CA by Dallas Lynn with acknowledgements to Jared Whitson for
his role in formalizing the theory.
http://www.laddertheory.com/
| quote: | A guy and a girl can only be friends if one of these three conditions are present:
1. The guy is gay
2. The guy doesn't find the girl attractive
3. The guy finds the girl attractive, but is currently doing better |
Indeed.
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| SYSTEM-J |
| quote: | Originally posted by jennypie
Of course it's possible. All this nonsense of "sexual attraction"...as if one doesn't have a choice in the matter, when in fact one does. You don't have to let yourself go there if you don't want to; i.e. in a relationship that is supposed to be strictly platonic.
Like seriously I get that we're animals and all that, but ffs...do you really think everyone is controlled by their sex drive?? |
I'm not really interested in the question of "going there", because I do have female friends I am attracted to and I've never considered doing anything.
The COR logic is pretty cynical about male/female relations, because it basically posits that no man would ever find a woman worthwhile company if he wasn't attracted to her, and vice versa. It implies that men and women only interact socially because of the possibility of or the desire for sex. I find that a bit worrying because I don't think it's true, but then again I have relatively few friendships with girls who I don't find attractive.
Of course, another answer is that getting along with someone makes them attractive. I don't believe people who say "Personality matters the most" because for me it's a 50/50 split, but you obviously like the personality of your friends so why shouldn't that make them more attractive? I'm sure everyone has been in the situation where they spent a lot of time around someone they didn't initially find that attractive, but grow to like the person a lot more the more they see them. |
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| Silky Johnson |
| quote: | Originally posted by SYSTEM-J
I'm not really interested in the question of "going there", because I do have female friends I am attracted to and I've never considered doing anything.
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Which proves my point exactly. |
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| Sand Leaper |
| quote: | Originally posted by SYSTEM-J
The COR logic is pretty cynical about male/female relations, because it basically posits that no man would ever find a woman worthwhile company if he wasn't attracted to her, and vice versa. It implies that men and women only interact socially because of the possibility of or the desire for sex. I find that a bit worrying because I don't think it's true, but then again I have relatively few friendships with girls who I don't find attractive. |
Women do interact with men they don't find attractive for "intellectual reasons", for lack of a better term. These men are often labeled intellectual whores, a term coined by Woody Allen. |
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| SYSTEM-J |
| quote: | Originally posted by jennypie
Which proves my point exactly. |
Yeah, I fully agree with you, but what worries me is the possibility that even if we have no intention of doing anything, we're still enacting an essentially fake friendship motivated ultimately by our libido. It suggests that men-women friendships are fundamentally different to men-men or women-women friendships.
I'd like to think that any attraction is just incidental and I'd still have the same number of female friends if I had no attraction to any of them. |
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| Silky Johnson |
Forgive me if someone's already said this...but I guess it depends on how you view the opposite sex to begin with. Do you see women as sex objects first? Do you see them as your equal? Or do you leave it completely open to interpretation at the time of meeting individual females?
If you view the opposite sex as a sexual partner first and foremost, you're most likely going to approach relationships with them in a corresponding manner. |
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| colonelcrisp |
| quote: | Originally posted by jennypie
Forgive me if someone's already said this...but I guess it depends on how you view the opposite sex to begin with. Do you see women as sex objects first? Do you see them as your equal? Or do you leave it completely open to interpretation at the time of meeting individual females?
If you view the opposite sex as a sexual partner first and foremost, you're most likely going to approach relationships with them in a corresponding manner. |
While i do view women as individuals and equals, my dick thinks otherwise.....
lets face it, my dick is the judge and jury in most of my ethical dilemmas. |
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| Silky Johnson |
| Troglodyte. |
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| Zild |
| All men are not created equal and neither are women. |
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| nefardec |
i've had female friends who i was just friends with,
but my serious relationships have all begun just as 'friends' and developed into something else. generally there was a lot of attraction and tension from the beginning, though. |
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