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looking to hire a private assassin
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| jupiterone |
so my neighbor clearly has no sense of courtesy. their bedroom window is somewhere around 15 or so feet away from my bedroom window. i'm not going to close my ing window, they can go choke on a cock. they seem to not understand that no one wants to hear the girl moaning like a wounded mule.
so, a few month i took upon the responsibility of pointing my speakers directly at their bedroom window to blast the benny hill theme while they were in the midst of epic sex. i received death threats via window to window communication. after that, it stopped for a little while, now they're right back at it. so, luckily i still have that really obnoxious cd loaded in my CDJ, armed and ready to go. this time, it's extremely horrible crab-walk death metal. if this does not work, i am very much interested in someone killing these mexicans.
they also have heated arguments at 3/4am. there was once an extremely angry fight about which vibrator to use (seriously, i am not making this up). the guy was screaming at the top of his lungs as to which he prefers, the girl went "but this one has..." "NO, THIS IS THE ONE I WANT YOU TO USE". thankfully, i am moving in a matter of weeks. however, i still would like to make their lives a living hell while i'm here. if you have any creative ideas, let me know.
metal tune started. field recorder armed for their reactions. aaannndd go. |
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| FuzzQi |
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| knowhope |
This is an exact ing post of Joss Weatherby, concerning a crazy woman mowing his lawn.
You're a wuss man. If it bothers you that much, you'll grow a ing penis and knock on their door saying: "Stop with the sex music, since i don'tt get none."
P.S. Joss can at least give some info on some inter-continental nuclear ballistic missiles. He's thus excused. |
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| netroM |
| I swear I just saw this thread on 4chan. |
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| knowhope |
| quote: | Originally posted by netroM
I swear I just saw this thread on 4chan. |
You Boxxy? |
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| Moongoose |
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| Domesticated |
| Do they ever leave their window open? Throw something in there, like a smoke bomb. Or wait until they go out and throw something rotten. |
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| knowhope |
| quote: | Originally posted by Domesticated
Do they ever leave their window open? Throw something in there, like a smoke bomb. Or wait until they go out and throw something rotten. |
Too complex. Just throw a ing stick bomb. FFS! |
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| Sushipunk |
| quote: | Originally posted by jupiterone
i took upon the responsibility of pointing my speakers directly at their bedroom window to blast the benny hill theme while they were in the midst of epic sex. |
I literally snorted out loud when I just read that :stongue: :stongue: |
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| jupiterone |
| i mean, this has been going on for over a year now, man. you can only take that disgusting moan for so long before it truly becomes identical to a uwe boll movie. their window is always open, but of course they have that bug net . that'd require gathering rocks to break through the net and hope rotting chicken and fish would make it through clean. too much work indeed |
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| Domesticated |
That also might be a bit drastic, meaning you'll get bashed up or something. How about a water gun filled with soy sauce or oil?  |
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| knowhope |
| quote: | Originally posted by jupiterone
i mean, this has been going on for over a year now, man. you can only take that disgusting moan for so long before it truly becomes identical to a uwe boll movie. their window is always open, but of course they have that bug net . that'd require gathering rocks to break through the net and hope rotting chicken and fish would make it through clean. too much work indeed |
Jupiter, come on man. Knock on their door and tell them to keep it quiet. Act like a grampa who needs va-jayjay. Act like a nerd in need of wet .
I don't know. Either way you should face them or just produce your own disgusting sound of yours. |
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