|
How low are your standards? (pg. 6)
|
View this Thread in Original format
| Halcyon+On+On |
| quote: | Originally posted by [N]ûk|êû[Z]
i remember once, before i met the ex wife.. i was in town at some pub watching the footy england vs portugal semi final in the euro cup.
england ended up losing, so me and my mate went to another pub.. had a drink, but realised the atmosphere there wasnt so great. so we went back to the pub where we watched the footy. this time they were playing hideous obnoxious chart music.
so anyways, i buys a drink, then goes onto the dance floor which is flooded with all kinds of reprobates. theres some fatty on there with shades on, desperate for some jayonaise.. so i walks up to her and nicked her shades, then ed off for about 20 minutes.. i then came back to her, and gave her her shades back, then says 'right, come on you' .. grabbed her hand,, led her out the pub, and walked behind some bank, and she starts sucking me off on some wheelchair ramp. i dont know how long she was going at it for cos i fell asleep for a bit.
about 5 minutes after i woke up i said 'come on, i want to go get a drink' .. so i took her to this 24 hour license pool hall, have a drink or 2.. then i say 'meet me in the bogs in 2 mins' .. i go to the toilet.. then sure enough 2 minutes later i hear the toilet door open, and in she comes.. i start making out with her, then pull her fat girls knickers down and turn her around and bend her over and start trying to stroke her ovaries. then i thought 'ill squat down and watch my fingers entering this watery blanc mange' .. so i squats down, and am faced with around 20-25 whiteheads strategically placed all over her fat bum in a variety of sizes and shades of white/yellow. so i stands back up.. pull out my 2/3rds erect wilkins, and bum her for about 3 minutes. cum inside her, wipe my tired bellend on her skirt, then left her and went home :D |
 |
|
|
| Halcyon+On+On |
| Goddamn, man. You got Snorlax'd. :stongue: |
|
|
| Vivid Boy |
| ya nuk that story kinda made me barf a lil in my mouth |
|
|
| [N]ûk|êû[Z] |
| i earned 2500 XP for it tho :P |
|
|
| [N]ûk|êû[Z] |
| .. should think myself lucky i didnt recieve bellend of rage, for my troubles tho lol |
|
|
| Halcyon+On+On |
| I think you just finished the thread. |
|
|
| zyklon-jay |
| yup my erection is gone. Brits are good for that. |
|
|
| Alex |
| quote: | Originally posted by zyklon-jay
or the dreaded turkey gobbler.
noothing worse than getting all excited at some girl and when you see her vag it looks like a darth vader helmet made out of meat and it just kind of sags there like an old lady that plays too much bingo. |
:stongue: |
|
|
| Renzo |
| quote: | Originally posted by Intellekshual
Men are plagued with an embarrassing surplus of gelatinous nectar and, for the majority of their lives, try to dispose of it as gallantly as they possibly can.
Generally speaking, any would do and any time is -a-clock. |
OMG FAP |
|
|
| Halcyon+On+On |
| quote: | Originally posted by Mattsanity.
celibacy ftw |
It's not patriotism when you're drafted. |
|
|
|
|
