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Coworker sexually assaulted me; boss is angry with me that it happened.
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| Banora |
So last night I gave a coworker a ride home like I have quite a few times before. He tried to sexually attack me when I dropped him off. Unfortunately as there were no witnesses and I have no physical marks I was informed there probably will not be a case against him (found out he has a 3-page long criminal history sheet, and sexual assault (dismissed) was on there a few years ago).
That isn't what bothers me. What bothers me is the reaction of my boss. He is angry about this; not that an employee of his attacked another employee but because I essentially let it happen. He is not going to fire the guy until he is formally charged or arrested (which I agree is fair), but he complained to one of my coworkers this morning without my permission, who was in no way involved and is not management what happened and now he has to do 'all this paperwork'. He said he has no professional or personal opinion on the matter, but it is very clear he is angry.
Today he was berating me for not smiling enough and being distracted. He is also angry that I will no longer work evenings (that is when the other coworker works) and now has to hire someone else to cover for me. What I also find odd is I confided in a good friend at work, and when the manager found out he stormed over and told me very sternly I am not allowed to speak a single word about this incident to anyone. Ever. Period. Yet when I pointed out he told one of the staff he stormed off. He was barking at me for every little thing today. I was scratching my arm and he came over, yelling that I am picking at my skin in front of guests (there were no guests around me at the time) and am disgusting and need to go wash my hands. He told me that the back portion of the restaurant was closed off, then yelled at me when I had us go on a wait because we had an unexpected lunch rush. He found a small smudge on the glass door after someone had pushed it open and yelled I was being lazy.
I am not expecting to be coddled because of this, but I am concerned about his reaction (this is also a man who used to talk to me in a sexually suggestive manner. Considering the money he paid me to do basically nothing I just ignored him since he never made any advances towards me). Is his reaction normal?
I am really, really scared he is going to fire me. I mean, considering my hours are now severely cut I should look for other employment elsewhere, but I would rather have a job lined up instead of being jobless and taking anything out of desperation. |
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| srussell0018 |
| Go to HR and tell them that he was discussing that matter with another coworker. Incredibly unprofessional and probably grounds for termination. |
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| Alex |
| quote: | Originally posted by srussell0018
Go to HR and tell them that he was discussing that matter with another coworker. Incredibly unprofessional and probably grounds for termination. |
Yup.
I hope the perv gets sent to a pound you in the ass prison. ing scum.:mad: |
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| srussell0018 |
| Something somewhat similar happened where I work a couple months ago. One girl who worked there accused another employee of raping her, and he was actually brought out of work in handcuffs and arrested. Apparently it was dismissed and now he's back working there again. I can't believe something like that would happen. If I had the authority to fire him he'd be out on his ass for whatever reason I could think of. |
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| Lira |
| quote: | Originally posted by Banora
because I essentially let it happen |
How so!? He sounds like a major male chauvinistic bastard. |
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| Joss Weatherby |
First fired for not liking sports, now possibly for being a women...
I think the obvious answer here is that the universe is telling you to get a sex change. |
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| Nrg2Nfinit |
give us a low down on what happened..
He sexually attacked you? Did he like wip it out? try to kiss you?
i'm just curious on what you define as attack. |
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| Joss Weatherby |
| quote: | Originally posted by Nrg2Nfinit
give us a low down on what happened..
He sexually attacked you? Did he like wip it out? try to kiss you?
i'm just curious on what you define as attack. |
No you aren't, you just want Banora to talk dirty. :mad: |
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| Nrg2Nfinit |
| no im just curious |
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| jonSun |
| Is he a restaurant manager? If so most are complete scumbags. |
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| Banora |
| quote: | Originally posted by jonSun
Is he a restaurant manager? If so most are complete scumbags. |
And co-owner.
| quote: | Originally posted by srussell0018
Something somewhat similar happened where I work a couple months ago. One girl who worked there accused another employee of raping her, and he was actually brought out of work in handcuffs and arrested. Apparently it was dismissed and now he's back working there again. I can't believe something like that would happen. If I had the authority to fire him he'd be out on his ass for whatever reason I could think of. |
Considering there is probably no case against him (will get dismissed like his last sexual assault case) it means he probably won't have any sort or reprimand.
| quote: | Originally posted by Joss Weatherby
First fired for not liking sports, now possibly for being a women...
I think the obvious answer here is that the universe is telling you to get a sex change. |
:stongue:
I would make a cute boy
| quote: | Originally posted by srussell0018
Go to HR and tell them that he was discussing that matter with another coworker. Incredibly unprofessional and probably grounds for termination. |
He co-owns the restaurant. I... honestly don't know if there is an HR person.
| quote: | Originally posted by Nrg2Nfinit
give us a low down on what happened..
He sexually attacked you? Did he like wip it out? try to kiss you?
i'm just curious on what you define as attack. |
No I am absolutely fine describing what happened.
So a bit of background, I sometimes watch/walk his dog when he is working and I am off (we usually work the same shift) for a bit of side cash so I have been alone with him in his apartment and he has never, ever made any advancements, never been weird, has pictures of his dog and daughter everywhere and gushes about them all the time, etc etc. Basically, I never had any reason to suspect he would behave this way. Everyone at works seems to like him, always shows up to work and does a good job...
Anyway I was walking to my car when my coworker approached me, we stood outside chatting and he was telling me how excited he was because his daughter is in town (lives with her mother in another state). He said she was at his apartment with the dog (Emi is the dog) and asked since I hadn't seen Emi in nearly three weeks if I wanted to run up and see her and meet his daughter. I said sure. We get to his apartment and he yells for his daughter, but no one answers and he is like "eh, I guess she took Emi for a walk." This had happened before, but with his neighbor, so I had no reason to think this was out of the ordinary.
So his living room has two couches divided by a large coffee table. I sit on one and he sits on the other and the tv is on (showing the Treyvon Martin case) so we are discussing that case. About twenty minutes pass and I want to get home at a reasonable hour so I say I am going to head off at the next commercial. He says okay. He then gets up and walks over to where I am and kneels next to the coffee table and opens a drawer. Then suddenly his hands are on my feet/calves. I asked him what is he doing (he is a goofy kind of guy so I thought he was being funny or going to pull a prank) and he says for me to relax. I told him to stop and his hands went further up my legs (I was wearing a dress) and kept edging backward (he has a very large and deep couch so I was kind of sunk in the couch) and he kept telling me to relax, its alright. I jerked my legs from his grasp and one of his hands went up very far on my right inner thigh.
There was a split second of a pause. We locked eyes and he had this... piercing.... focused... I can't describe it but it reminded me of the way a dog looks the second before it attacks. He lunged himself onto me and pushed me back into the couch. I have no idea how but but I managed to wiggle out from under him and he grabbed my dress and little sweater cover which he ended up tearing the sleeve and yanked down my dress and was screaming "no" "stop" as I ran to the door. I am incredibly lucky he didn't lock the door. I ran down the hallway screaming and looked behind me to see him standing out in the hall. I ran to the emergency stairs and ran downstairs. Their front desk person was there and I was pretty incoherent (and with my dress hanging down around my waist, though my sweater was covering my boobs) she had enough sense to call the cops.
Not even five minutes after he came to the front door of the building, knocked on the door and said "you dropped these", laid down my shoes and keys and left. |
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| Guest |
Holy christ :nervous:
I am truly sorry that happened to ya... |
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