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the best joke evar! (pg. 3)
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| Nell |
A black guy was walking along a beach and he finds this bottle. It looks a little dirty so he rubs it and out pops a genie. The genie says that he'll grant this black man three wishes, but to choose carefully. So the black guy thinks and says, "Okay, for my first wish, I want to have tons of money and gold." The genie snaps his fingers and the entire beach turns into gold coins. Astounded, the black man thinks and says, "Okay, for my second wish, I want the sweetest ride to pick up ladies!" The genie snaps his fingers and a red convertible appears right before the man's eyes. So the black man thinks and finally makes his final wish saying, "For my final wish, I want to be white and surrounded by beautiful women." The genie snaps his fingers and the black man turns into a tampon.
The moral of the story: Be careful what you wish for because there might be a string attached. |
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| Nell |
A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him. The white man said,
"Colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black."
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And you have the nerve to call me colored"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away.. |
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| DarkAngel |
| quote: | Originally posted by Nell
A black guy was walking along a beach and he finds this bottle. It looks a little dirty so he rubs it and out pops a genie. The genie says that he'll grant this black man three wishes, but to choose carefully. So the black guy thinks and says, "Okay, for my first wish, I want to have tons of money and gold." The genie snaps his fingers and the entire beach turns into gold coins. Astounded, the black man thinks and says, "Okay, for my second wish, I want the sweetest ride to pick up ladies!" The genie snaps his fingers and a red convertible appears right before the man's eyes. So the black man thinks and finally makes his final wish saying, "For my final wish, I want to be white and surrounded by beautiful women." The genie snaps his fingers and the black man turns into a tampon.
The moral of the story: Be careful what you wish for because there might be a string attached. |
:haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: |
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| Nell |
Why do ******s carry in their wallet?
Identification.
Why do ******s wear wide brimmed hats?
So birds won't on their lips.
How do you stop black kids from jumping on your bed?
Put velcro on the celing.
Why do ******s smell so bad?
So blind people can hate them too.
Why does Stevie Wonder smile all the time?
He doesn't know he's black.
Why can't Stevie Wonder read?
He's black.
How do you get a ****** down from a tree?
Cut the rope.
How do you stop a ****** from hanging around in your front yard?
Hang him in the back.
What do you do when you see a ****** with one leg?
Stop laughing and re-load.
How many ******s does it take to pave a road?
Depends on how you slice them.
What's green, pink, purple and orange?
A ****** dressed for church.
What's the difference between a deer in the road and a ****** in the road?
The deer has skid marks in front of it.
What is wrong with 4 ******s going over a cliff in a Cadilac?
It seats 5.
What do you say when you see your T.V. floating around at night?
Drop it ******.
Why are ******s so strong?
T.V.'s are getting heavier.
Why are ******s so fast?
All the slow ones are in jail.
What do you call a ****** having sex?
Rape.
What happened to the ****** hat had an abortion?
Crime stoppers sent her a check for 500 dollars.
What are 3 things you can't give a ******?
A black eye, a fat lip, and a job.
How do you stop a ****** from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
What is the difference between Batman and a black man?
Batman can go out at night without robin.
What is the definition of mass confusion?
Father's Day in Harlem.
Why shouldn't you hit a ****** riding a bike?
Because the bike is probably yours.
Why do white people go to black people's garage sales?
To get their stuff back.
What do black kids get for Christmas?
Your bike.
What is long and hard on a ******?
First Grade.
Why do black people lean to the middle when they drive?
They think the smell is coming from the outside.
Where is the best place to hide a ******'s food stamps?
Under his work boots.
Why do ******s have red eyes after having sex?
Because of the pepper spray.
What's the difference between a ****** and a bike?
When you put chains on a bike it doesn't start singing.
How do you know Adam and Eve weren't black?
Ever try taking a rib from a ******?
What was missing from the million man march?
An auctioneer.
How long does it take a ****** to ?
Nine months
What happened when the ****** looked up his family tree?
A gorilla on his face.
Why don't ******s like blowjobs?
They don't like any jobs.
What do you call a ****** priest?
Holy .
Why do ******s always have sex on their mind?
Because they've got pubic hair on their head!
Why do ******s put their garbage out in clear plastic bags?
So mexicans can window shop.
Why do mexicans buy Cabbage Patch dolls?
Because they come with birth certificates.
Why don't mexicans have any Olympic teams?
Because all the mexicans who can run, jump, or swim have already left the country.
Why don't mexicans play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
Why do mexicans have re-fried beans?
Have you ever heard of a mexican doing anything right the first time?
How can you tell a mexican airline?
It's the one with hair under the wings.
What do you get when you cross a mexican with an octopus?
I don't know but it sure can pick lettuce.
What are three things you can't give a ******?
A black eye, a fat lip and an education.
What do ******s use to wash their white clothes?
BLEEATCH!
Why can't spics be firefighters?
They can't tell Jose from hose B.
What did the ****** say when he slid down the zebra?
Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't.
What is the difference between a pair of jeans and an Ethiopian?
A pair of jeans only has one fly on it.
What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person?
Neighbor.
What do you call two Ethiopians in a gold sleeping bag?
Twix.
Why is a Spic like a Skunk?
Beause they're half balck and half white, and smell like .
What's the difference between a ****** and a letter?
You can send a letter back to where it came from.
What's the difference between the holy grail and a ******'s daddy?
You may find the grail.
What is black, runny, and scratches on glass?
A ****** in a microwave.
What do you call 9 mexicans in front of your house?
A spicket fence.
How does the navy use ******s?
They debone them and use them as wetsuits.
What does Pontiac stand for?
Poor Old ******s Think Its A Cadillac.
Do you remember the ****** family on the Jetsons? No?
The future looks pretty good!
Did you hear about the ****** that thought he was bleeding to death?
Turns out he just had diarrhea.
Why don't jews like oral sex?
It's too close to the gas chamber.
Why don't you run over a ****** on a bike?
Its probably your bike.
What do you call 50 ******s burried up to their necks in dirt?
Afro-turf.
Why do ******s drive with their windows up?
They think the smell is coming from outside.
Why do ******s eat tootsie rolls with a fork?
So they don't bite their fingers.
What do you call two ****** cops on motorcycles?
Chocolate chips.
Why don't ******s celebrate Thanksgiving?
KFC isn't open on holidays.
Why do ******s like basket ball?
It involves running, shooting and stealing.
What has four legs and a black arm?
A happy pitbull.
How do you know if a ****** is well hung?
If you can't fit your finger between his neck and the noose.
Did you hear about the jewish child molestor?
He hid in the bushes and said, "Hey little boy, wanna buy some candy?"
Did you hear about the jew bitch who told her husband, "Give me 10 inches and make it hurt."?
He ed her twice and threw her down the stairs.
How many ****** college students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only one, but he gets 6 credits for it. |
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| DarkAngel |
| quote: | Originally posted by Nell
A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him. The white man said,
"Colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black."
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And you have the nerve to call me colored"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away.. |
:stongue: :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: |
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| Sunsnail |
omg nell
:stongue: :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: |
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| {b.s.e.} |
| quote: | Originally posted by DarkAngel
:stongue: :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: |
must you do that all the time? |
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| DarkAngel |
| quote: | Originally posted by {b.s.e.}
must you do that all the time? |
Well it's either that or Size=8 LOLLLL etc etc. :wtf: |
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| Sunsnail |
| quote: | Originally posted by DarkAngel
Well it's either that or Size=8 LOLLLL etc etc. :wtf: |
LOLLLL :wtf: |
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| Halcyon+On+On |
| quote: | Originally posted by DarkAngel
Well it's either that or Size=8 LOLLLL etc etc. :wtf: |
Just one ":haha: " isn't enough?
:wtf: |
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| Boomer187 |
wan't that mike piazza just banned for teh racist jokes....
yay more bannings. |
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| teegee |
nell, uh...i think you got a bit too into this thread.
:wtf: |
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