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the best joke evar! (pg. 8)
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| occrider |
An expectant father is impatiently pacing in the waiting room when the delivery doctor bursts out of the delivery room.
"Mr. Jones! It's a boy, and, I can't believe it, but your baby can FLY!" exclaimed the doctor.
The expectant man stood there dumbfounded by this revelation while the doctor brought him into the delivery room where he could see his child in a crib. As the doctor approached the crib the father began to fill with pride, a flying baby boy.
The doctor walked up to the crib, grabbed the baby and threw him up in the air. The baby arced up and fell with a sickening thud.
"OMG! What are you doing?! That's my baby!!!" yelled the father.
"Wait, wait, maybe he just needs some help" stated the doctor as he flung the baby toward the far wall.
The baby hit the wall with a crack and slid down to the floor.
"OMFG!!! Jesus Christ! WTF are you doing!?!?!!" exclaimed the dad.
"Hmm, maybe he'll fly with a little more help" the doctor responded as he flung the baby out the window.
"AAAAA! HOLY CRAP! WTF KIND OF DOCTOR ARE YOU?!?!" yelled the dad as his child plumeted down 4 stories to the cement.
"Hey man, there's nothing to worry about, I was just joking around. It was stillborn."
what do you get when you beat a baby with a baseball bat?
an erection
(I wonder if people can tell that I hate kids yet ...) |
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| squirrelly |
| quote: | Originally posted by occrider
An expectant father is impatiently pacing in the waiting room when the delivery doctor bursts out of the delivery room.
"Mr. Jones! It's a boy, and, I can't believe it, but your baby can FLY!" exclaimed the doctor.
The expectant man stood there dumbfounded by this revelation while the doctor brought him into the delivery room where he could see his child in a crib. As the doctor approached the crib the father began to fill with pride, a flying baby boy.
The doctor walked up to the crib, grabbed the baby and threw him up in the air. The baby arced up and fell with a sickening thud.
"OMG! What are you doing?! That's my baby!!!" yelled the father.
"Wait, wait, maybe he just needs some help" stated the doctor as he flung the baby toward the far wall.
The baby hit the wall with a crack and slid down to the floor.
"OMFG!!! Jesus Christ! WTF are you doing!?!?!!" exclaimed the dad.
"Hmm, maybe he'll fly with a little more help" the doctor responded as he flung the baby out the window.
"AAAAA! HOLY CRAP! WTF KIND OF DOCTOR ARE YOU?!?!" yelled the dad as his child plumeted down 4 stories to the cement.
"Hey man, there's nothing to worry about, I was just joking around. It was stillborn."
what do you get when you beat a baby with a baseball bat?
an erection
(I wonder if people can tell that I hate kids yet ...) |
:stongue:
Hey, I hate kids too, so we're together on that though. |
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| occrider |
| quote: | Originally posted by squirrelly
Here's another one: What's long, black, and smelly?
The unemployment line.
:haha: |
I'll see you're unemployment/welfare line and raise you a:
What do you call 9 black guys hanging in a tree?
Mississippi wind chime. |
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| lücid |
| quote: | Originally posted by occrider
(I wonder if people can tell that I hate kids yet ...) |
you weren't born an adult. |
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| squirrelly |
| quote: | Originally posted by occrider
I'll see you're unemployment/welfare line and raise you a:
What do you call 9 black guys hanging in a tree?
Mississippi wind chime. |
Oh !!! :stongue: I seriously burst out laughing. I hope my black roommate doesn't walk in and read these :haha: |
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| occrider |
| quote: | Originally posted by lücid
you weren't born an adult. |
Yea I was a little when I was a kid too. I shoulda kicked my own ass. |
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| squirrelly |
| quote: | Originally posted by occrider
Yea I was a little when I was a kid too. I shoulda kicked my own ass. |
I was a troublemaker. :disbelief |
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| lücid |
| quote: | Originally posted by occrider
Yea I was a little when I was a kid too. I shoulda kicked my own ass. |
kids are supposed to be little s. that's the whole point of being a kid! if you were born a perfect little darling child, you'd probably grow up to be an insanely boring adult. there's really absolutely nothing funny about dead baby jokes.
i'm all for some good innocent jokes, but when you end your post of distasteful baby jokes with "i hate kids" it's basically like telling a black joke and ending it with "i hate n******" |
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| DarkFall01 |
1. What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume!
2. Why did the baby cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken.
3. Why do ******s like basket ball?
It involves running, shooting and stealing.
4. How do you blindfold a gook?
Dental floss!
5. We all know that it isn't polite to use the "F" word! There are only ten times in history the "F" word has been acceptable for use:
10. "What the was that?" - Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945
9. "Look at all them ing Indians!" - Custer, 1877
8. "Any ing idiot could understand that." - Einstein, 1938
7. "It does so ing look like her!" - Picasso, 1926
6. "How the did you work that out?" - Pythagorus, 126 BC
5. "You want WHAT on the ing ceiling?" - Michelangelo, 1566
4. "Where the are we?" - Amelia Earhart, 1937
3. "Scattered ing showers....My ass!" - Noah, 4314 BC
2. "Aw c'mon. Who the 's going to find out?" - Bill Clinton,1999
1. "Geez, I didn't think they'd get this ing mad." - Saddam Hussein, March 19, 2003 |
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| occrider |
| quote: | Originally posted by lücid
i'm all for some good innocent jokes, but when you end your post of distasteful baby jokes with "i hate kids" it's basically like telling a black joke and ending it with "i hate n******" |
You're right, it's EXACTLY like that!!! :rolleyes:
Now what exactly would that be called? Ageism? My god, I'm a monster. |
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| lücid |
| quote: | Originally posted by occrider
You're right, it's EXACTLY like that!!! :rolleyes:
Now what exactly would that be called? Ageism? My god, I'm a monster. |
actually i think the term you're looking for is age discrimination :p |
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