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Love: Geting over it/on with it (pg. 2)
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| drgoodvibe |
| the ashes of an old flame only smolder |
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| Silky Johnson |
| IMO, true love is selfless and asks for no reciprocation. I guess that's why it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. It takes courage to truly love someone, and it's worth the risk for many reasons. It's foolish to think anyone can escape heartbreak, and to try and avoid it, one is only selling themselves short. |
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| Moral Hazard |
| quote: | Originally posted by jennypie
IMO, true love is selfless and asks for no reciprocation. |
That's idealistic bull. Selfless my ass. In order for any human to do anything there must be some measure of a reward/compensation for doing it. If you work you get paid. If you eat you gain energy. If you masturbate you cum. Love is no different. If you love then you must gain something in exchange for that love otherwise you would not do it. Normally, the feeling of love is accompanied by a release of endorphines and other chemicals/hormones. In all likelihood this is the payback for love. Anyway, what I'm getting at is... love cannot be selfless as the lover benefits from the love. |
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| *~LiSa-LoO~* |
I think I've only really been in love once. And because of the way we broke up, it was really hard to get over him. Infact, months after we had broken up, I thought I was over him, and then something got triggered, and all of a sudden I realized I wasn't over him yet. Since then however, we had closure, and are now some what friends. The guy has really changed, and our friendship will never be the same again, but I know I'm over him, and that closure was what I needed. He was my first love too...and even after all we've been through, I still have that little place in my heart for him as well...even though I know I would never date him again.
I have felt really strong feelings for someone else too. Not quite romantic love yet, but definatly strong romantic feelings...and love as an amazing friend, at the very least. I think that's really hard to get over too sometimes. Because there's such a solid friendship there, when things are broken off romantically, it's hard to keep that friendship. I think that it's definatly worth it though. Loves may come and go, but friendships last forever.
I don't even know if I'm making any sense anymore...I tend to do that, so I'll shut up.
But I do believe it's better than to love and lose, then to never love at all. I have no regrets. Once you get past that point where you want to kill youself...everything does eventually get better. :happy2: |
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| Sly_Guy |
| you never get over it. You just learn to deal, and there's no timeframe for that. |
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| Mr. Furious |
| Unconditional love can only come from a stalker. |
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| zoogla |
| quote: | Originally posted by *~LiSa-LoO~*
...and love as an amazing friend, at the very least. I think that's really hard to get over too sometimes. Because there's such a solid friendship there, when things are broken off romantically, it's hard to keep that friendship.
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Totally understand you. My best friend turned into my gf for a couple of years and then I realized I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with her (I was only 14 at the time) and so I wanted to end it...then when the romance got broken off the "best" friendship we had was lost...that really sucked; we are still family friends because our families meet up all the time but we don't have that awesome friendship of 110% understanding of each other anymore...:(
| quote: | Originally posted by *~LiSa-LoO~*
I don't even know if I'm making any sense anymore...I tend to do that, so I'll shut up. |
Your posts are always packed with meaning and are so fun to read...so if you want to shut up, then SHUT UP about saying you don't make sense! ;)
| quote: | Originally posted by *~LiSa-LoO~*
...everything does eventually get better. :happy2: |
Agreed 100%. Things may never be the same with that person, but things will def get better...not sure if you were talking about with the same person or in general...because in general, I feel so much better off than I ever did before! :D |
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| loca |
I never experienced true love until i started going out with my current. For ex-lovers/bfs... well, i can't say it took me very long to get over them. I tend to hate all my exes (no jokes, they really were s :(), so getting over them was fairly easy, steps:
1. Cut all contact with the person.
2. When (through sheer bad luck) i happen to cross them somewhere, ignore them completely or give them bad looks.
Oh and then i just get a new boyfriend. For some reason i've never been single for more than a month since i started dating :D |
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| drgoodvibe |
| quote: | Originally posted by loca
1. Cut all contact with the person.
2. When (through sheer bad luck) i happen to cross them somewhere, ignore them completely or give them bad looks.
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I understand the need to ignore them, but whats the point of giving them bad looks? What does that really solve?
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Oh and then i just get a new boyfriend. For some reason i've never been single for more than a month since i started dating :D |
lol.. |
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| *~LiSa-LoO~* |
| quote: | Originally posted by fayraree
Totally understand you. My best friend turned into my gf for a couple of years and then I realized I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with her (I was only 14 at the time) and so I wanted to end it...then when the romance got broken off the "best" friendship we had was lost...that really sucked; we are still family friends because our families meet up all the time but we don't have that awesome friendship of 110% understanding of each other anymore...:(
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I think it really has to depend on the person and how the relationship ends. I've had 3 serious boyfriends, only the 2nd who I was in love with. The first we didn't really hang out with the same friends, so we had a lot of time apart, but now he's still a close friend of mine. My 2nd boyfriend, like I said there was a lot of stress on our relationship/friendship when we broke up, and only now are we still sort of friends. But the 3rd one, is still one of my closest friends, and I don't think that'll ever change. Our friendship fortunatly hasn't been affected much. |
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| Ashley |
| quote: | Originally posted by loca
I never experienced true love until i started going out with my current. For ex-lovers/bfs... well, i can't say it took me very long to get over them. I tend to hate all my exes (no jokes, they really were s :(), so getting over them was fairly easy, steps:
1. Cut all contact with the person.
2. When (through sheer bad luck) i happen to cross them somewhere, ignore them completely or give them bad looks.
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Same here! After I broke up with a guy, I seriously never spoke to them agian, I just started to hate them. Easy way to get over a guy.
But like you, I had never been in love before, but now that I am in love, I think that I would just die if we ever broke up. We've talked about taking breaks (at the peak point of an argument) then at the final moment, we're like, "no I can't go a week without seeing you", so I couldn't even imagine brekaing up with him. I think having you're heart broken would be one of the heardest things to overcome. |
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| naesean3 |
| quote: | Originally posted by *~LiSa-LoO~*
I think it really has to depend on the person and how the relationship ends. I've had 3 serious boyfriends, only the 2nd who I was in love with. The first we didn't really hang out with the same friends, so we had a lot of time apart, but now he's still a close friend of mine. My 2nd boyfriend, like I said there was a lot of stress on our relationship/friendship when we broke up, and only now are we still sort of friends. But the 3rd one, is still one of my closest friends, and I don't think that'll ever change. Our friendship fortunatly hasn't been affected much. |
that is a sign of someone being a genuine/nice person - that can accomplish this - game playing must not be part of your repetoire - those who can maintain solid friendships afterwords - is generally a sign of a somewhat healthy relationship - those who cannot stay friends - the relationships were not that healthy to begin with....IMO |
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