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Love: Geting over it/on with it (pg. 4)
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| Ex-Man |
It is better to have love and lost then to never have loved at all..
Alot of people dont get to experience this feeling called love, I myself have only been in love with one girl and I am currently with her. She is the greatest person alive she is awesome or was at one point, her family and mine agree on us getting married our friends do too but I on the other hand dont know any more we broke up about two months ago and decided to get back together about two weeks ago. Things havent been the same I dont know if I feel the same way I used to she does she tells me that I have changed she doesnt like this new person that I am. I still dont know what she means by that relationships are hard and I am going to keep trying to do to make this work if it doesnt then I will run away to ottawa or T.O. and start a brand new life. I think this is one of the greatest experience you can have in life nothing feels better than this...this is my opinion :rolleyes: |
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| loca |
| quote: | Originally posted by fayraree
Who says it's perfectly acceptable? |
The majority of men! lol
I know enough guys who get props for being sleeping around. Some may be different but i have enough guy friends who are considered legends because of the large number of women they've slept with :( |
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| naesean3 |
| quote: | Originally posted by fayraree
+1
My ex still tried to call me a few times, even 2 years after our relationship ended, but because we had no closure it was still too painful to even hear her voice...on a couple of occasions when I ran into her at uni I put on my poker face and was talking but I was totally distant...didn't want to give her my time of day. Before I gave her my all and she ditched me for someone else...Na-ah, no respect for you my dear. |
closure is VERY important - that is another aspect of the mutual respect I was speaking of that people should show/owe each other in the relationship....everyone deserves closure and those who cannot give it/accept it - have that much MORE to deal with......with closure comes acceptance - with acceptance come understanding - with understanding comes forgiveness - with forgiveness comes a healthy self or sense of self-worth. And taking that in to the next relationship is key - YOU MUST LOVE YOURSELF - BEFORE YOU CAN LOVE ANYONE properly - otherwise you will always project your own insecurities onto that person/into the relationship....make mountains out of molehills....create drama when there is no need to.......become a martyr instead of a saint......etc.
Learn to LOVE YOURSELF - you are the most important person you will ever know in this world! :D |
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| naesean3 |
| quote: | Originally posted by drgoodvibe
nothing really, I just find it personally amusing just becuase there are some people who just can't stay single guys or girls. I never could find a reason as to why some people just couldnt be alone for an extended period of time. Why is there a need to always be with someone? Or replace an ex with some new guy or girl? Is it easier to cope with a previous relationship that ended by getting a new one? |
amusing - no. I know a few people who tend to fit this pattern - they feel that they are not whole without another - this is not the most healthy of attitudes - the most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself - if you cannot stand yourself without someone else - you have to ask why are you really looking for that other person to fill the void that you cannot......
If you truly love/accept yourself anything/or anyone else that comes along is a bonus - like a cherry on top of a sundae tastes good without it - even better with it!!!;) |
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| loca |
| quote: | Originally posted by drgoodvibe
nothing really, I just find it personally amusing just becuase there are some people who just can't stay single guys or girls. I never could find a reason as to why some people just couldnt be alone for an extended period of time. Why is there a need to always be with someone? Or replace an ex with some new guy or girl? Is it easier to cope with a previous relationship that ended by getting a new one? |
Well the thing is, it's not like i tell myself "okay, this one's over, next one!"... things just sort of happen. I wouldn't have minded being alone sometimes for a month or five, it just never happened that way. If i find a guy attractive and he asks me out straight after i've just broken up with someone i'm not going to say no just because i just got out of a relationship... besides i was in my teens when all this happened! My last 3 relationships have all been over a year (one of them i'm not counting, it was 8 mths but i found out he was married :wtf: ).
Also i think sometimes the reason i did that was because i got dumped, and when i get dumped i need to feel like someone still wants me/thinks i'm pretty, etc. I guess that's a question of self-esteem though. |
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| Callie5 |
kind of off topic, but still on the love thing...
how often do you get "me" days - spending time away from your partner??? |
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| zoogla |
| quote: | Originally posted by loca
The majority of men! lol
I know enough guys who get props for being sleeping around. Some may be different but i have enough guy friends who are considered legends because of the large number of women they've slept with :( |
They're worse than sluts...they're s. |
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| zoogla |
| quote: | Originally posted by loca
Also i think sometimes the reason i did that was because i got dumped, and when i get dumped i need to feel like someone still wants me/thinks i'm pretty, etc. I guess that's a question of self-esteem though. |
I hear ya...that's why Sean's post is important...to love yourself first...then you might not need someone else to reaffirm that confidence. I know you are there right now, and I thank God that I'm there, but I wasn't there before I met Jenny...and those were ty times... |
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| loca |
| quote: | Originally posted by Callie5
kind of off topic, but still on the love thing...
how often do you get "me" days - spending time away from your partner??? |
hmmmmmmmmmmmm
well he goes to work so i don't see him then but i don't think that counts... so uhm... 0. :(
But technically that will change when we're both back in school. :D |
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| naesean3 |
| quote: | Originally posted by loca
Also i think sometimes the reason i did that was because i got dumped, and when i get dumped i need to feel like someone still wants me/thinks i'm pretty, etc. I guess that's a question of self-esteem though. |
this is a very vaild emotion and one does need feel "worthy/pretty/desirable" just be careful when trying to replace that comfort you had previously with someone else - girls more so than guys - get themselves into unhealthy relationships this way - I think my roomie is going through this right now - she has never been "by herself" for 10 years......and now she is making excuses for the guy that she is with - only to stay in this relationship - she talks like she is in control (I know what I am doing/I am not getting that attached) - but obviously she is not.......I hate seeing people go through this........:sadgreen:
Psychology is a ed up thing if you cannot control its influences over you.....people can convince themselves of the most ed up justifications for things.... |
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| loca |
| quote: | Originally posted by fayraree
I hear ya...that's why Sean's post is important...to love yourself first...then you might not need someone else to reaffirm that confidence. I know you are there right now, and I thank God that I'm there, but I wasn't there before I met Jenny...and those were ty times... |
Yeah it's true it was a bad time. When you have issues like that you end up (or at least i did) being with people who take advantage of that fact and use you in any way they can, not to mention some getting physically abusive. Like you, i'm so grateful i'm not in that position anymore because those few years before Carlos were the worst i've ever been through. |
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| Callie5 |
| quote: | Originally posted by loca
hmmmmmmmmmmmm
well he goes to work so i don't see him then but i don't think that counts... so uhm... 0. :(
But technically that will change when we're both back in school. :D |
:stongue:
That's like newr and I. We've seen eachother everyday since we met and we're going on 1 year next week!!!
I'm not going to see him today, it's just soooo weird! I know that it will make seeing him that much better though... |
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