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A joke as it's fcuking sh1te in here (pg. 5)
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| FirstBorn |
Little Tony was sent home early from school.
"Why are you home so early" asked his mum.
"There was a grammar test at school," replied little Tony, "and they asked me to say a sentence with the word 'contagious' in it."
"So what did you say?" asked his mum.
"I told the teacher what you said the other day," answered little Tony, "when you said Dad's still painting that wall and it's taken the c**t ages." |
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| shades_of_gray |
Kid: "daddy daddy, can i lick the bowl out?"!
Dad: "NO!!!, flush the chain like most ppl"
Kid: "Mummy Mummy, why am i running around in circles?"
Mum: "Shut Your mouth, before i nail the other foot to the floor!"
Kid: "Daddy daddy, whats a paedophile?"
Dad: "Shut up, and keep on suckin"!
:disbelief |
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| Phil raa |
| quote: | Originally posted by willson
Many years ago
*snip*
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can you please post this in the form of a cartoon please :) |
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| Fundamental |
| quote: | Originally posted by shades_of_gray
Kid: "daddy daddy, can i lick the bowl out?"!
Dad: "NO!!!, flush the chain like most ppl"
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Kid: "Daddy, Daddy. I don't like Granddad..."
Dad: "Well just push him to the side of your plate and eat your peas."
Kid: "Daddy Daddy! Granny's going out!"
Dad: "Go and throw some more petrol on her then..."
:wtf: |
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| messytechie |
Whats the best thing about shagging twenty three year olds????
...
...
...
There's twenty of them! |
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| chojin |
> > An Irishman goes to the Doctor with botty problems....
> >
> > "Dactor, it's me ahrse. I'd loik ya ta teyhk a look, if ya woot".
> >
> > So the doctor gets him to drop his pants and takes a look.
> >
> > "Incredible"he says, "there is a £20 note lodged up here."
> >
> > Tentatively he eases the twenty out of the man's bottom, and then a
> >
> > £10 pound note appears.
> >
> > "This is amazing!"exclaims the Doctor. ''What do you want me to do?"
> >
> >
> > "Well fur gadness sake teyhk it out, man!"shrieks the patient.
> >
> > The doctor pulls out the tenner and another twenty appears, and
> > another and
> >
> > another and another, etc....
> >
> > Finally the last note comes out and no more appear.
> >
> > "Ah Dactor, tank ya koindly, dat's moch batt er. Just out of
> > interest, How moch was in dare den?"
> >
> > The Doctor counts the pile of cash.
> >
> > "£1,990 exactly."
> >
> > "Ah, dat'd be roit,''says the Irishman
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > (Wait for it...........scroll down.)
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > I knew I wasn't feeling two grand.." |
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| MessiahProject |
| quote: | Originally posted by messytechie
Whats the best thing about shagging twenty three year olds????
There's twenty of them! |
:whip: Oooooh thats bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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| isoterra |
q. what's white and can't climb trees?
a. a fridge
q. what's grey and can't swim?
a. a filing cabinet
:toothless |
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| Streakfury |
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa." Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. Okay says the lawyer, your turn.
She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworker, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500. The blonde says,"Thank you", and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, " Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep. |
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| Project 7 |
| i say we invade the french forum :stongue: |
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| Fundamental |
| quote: | Originally posted by Project 7
i say we invade the french forum :stongue: |
That's not a joke, that's a plan! :D |
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| chojin |
| quote: | Originally posted by Streakfury
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa." Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. Okay says the lawyer, your turn.
She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworker, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500. The blonde says,"Thank you", and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, " Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep. |
terrible :p
i'll tell that at the next blonde power meeting. |
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