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The double-lifer thread (pg. 2)
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| Moral Hazard |
| ^^^^ grow up Jason. We're all dishonest to some extent. We're even dishonest with ourselves. Even our concept of love is intellectually dishonest. If you're wise you trust certain people with certain things and you decide what level of dishonesty you can tolerate. We all do it, whether we acknowledge it or not |
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| Floorfiller |
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
^^^^ grow up Jason. We're all dishonest to some extent. We're even dishonest with ourselves. Even our concept of love is intellectually dishonest. If you're wise you trust certain people with certain things and you decide what level of dishonesty you can tolerate. We all do it, whether we acknowledge it or not |
bla bla bla...
i can handle dishonesty to an extent, but flying off for secret weekends and ? i mean really you might as well be cheating too even if you aren't. so i'm sorry if i'm too immature to understand what your married life is like...call me idealistic. |
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| dinoXpress |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
bla bla bla...
i can handle dishonesty to an extent, but flying off for secret weekends and ? i mean really you might as well be cheating too even if you aren't. so i'm sorry if i'm too immature to understand what your married life is like...call me idealistic. |
Idealist. |
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| Azz3D |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
bla bla bla...
i can handle dishonesty to an extent, but flying off for secret weekends and ? i mean really you might as well be cheating too even if you aren't. so i'm sorry if i'm too immature to understand what your married life is like...call me idealistic. |
That's what I am saying... Does ANYBODY enter into marriage seriously anymore? The divorce rate for americans is 60%... Is marriage no longer sacred? To me, there is just about no lower someone can stoop than to cheat on their spouse.
I think you should only marry somebody with whom you want to spend the rest of your life, and when you find that special someone, why would you ever want to spit in the face of such a wonderful thing like that? I just cannot understand people like this. |
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| Aiwendil |
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
There are times where honesty is not the best policy. Thinking otherwise only serves to show that you are ignorant to a) human nature and b) the considerations that govern reasonable and prudent society. Sometimes being dishonest is the most honourable thing one can do, only sheep like obedience to an outdated and ill-conceived moral code could prevent one from recognizing that. |
Oh, so in order to avoid sheep-like obedience, we must conform to human nature and the considerations that govern reasonable and prudent society. Right. |
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| Azz3D |
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
There are times where honesty is not the best policy. Thinking otherwise only serves to show that you are ignorant to a) human nature and b) the considerations that govern reasonable and prudent society. Sometimes being dishonest is the most honourable thing one can do, only sheep like obedience to an outdated and ill-conceived moral code could prevent one from recognizing that. |
out dated? who are you paris hilton
if you think the moral code is out dated then you have no morals... |
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| Moral Hazard |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
bla bla bla...
i can handle dishonesty to an extent, but flying off for secret weekends and ? i mean really you might as well be cheating too even if you aren't. so i'm sorry if i'm too immature to understand what your married life is like...call me idealistic. |
it's not a question of maturity, it's a question of experience. It's easy to be idealistic and judgemental when you have little experience in the real world. You think things should happen a certain way because that is what fits with the morals, ethics, and values you have been taught. When you age a little and experience the real world for what it is you soon realize that those morals, ethics and values often betray you and do not always work in your interests or the interests of those you care about. This will confuse you at first and you will resist it, however, inevitably you will learn that morals, ethics, and values are flawed and should be at best viewed as guidelines to be adheered to when possible but abandoned when required. While we would all like to live in a perfect world where everything works the way you want it and you can do whatever you choose without consequence and everyone understands and respects you and your life the cold hard truth is that we don't, we never will, and we wouldn't actually like it if we did. You have to learn to make the best out of what you have, sometimes that means you do things you don't like or that other people would not approve of. If you can't learn to adapt you are doomed to fail! |
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| Moral Hazard |
| quote: | Originally posted by Aiwendil
Oh, so in order to avoid sheep-like obedience, we must conform to human nature and the considerations that govern reasonable and prudent society. Right. |
not conform.... recognize. If you don't understand the way of the world you cannot succeed in it. |
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| Moral Hazard |
| quote: | Originally posted by Azz3D
out dated? who are you paris hilton
if you think the moral code is out dated then you have no morals... |
Incorrect. The moral code that most of western society subscribes to is that which is enshrined by the judeo-christian faiths. This is a moral code that was developed thousands of years ago in a world which was by all meaninful considerations alien to that in which we now live. This moral code accepts things like pity to be a virtue, weakness to be a strenght, suffering to be noble, and intent to be the most important criteria on which to judge the value of an act. None of these ideals work for the benefit of the modern world. Especially the idea that only if one's intent has value then the act is valuable. |
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| Ms.xTc |
I think that lots of people enter a marriage hoping that it will be an honest one and will last for ever, just as they have been doing for hundreds of years. The reason divorce rates are so high is because it is now an option that is available to people... not to mention that the world we live in is corrupt and selfish and so when things dont work out- or someone finds something better, they have an out. As far as im concerned, I believe that If you yourself are a double-lifer you should enter a relationship with another just so you both have an understanding of one anothers behaviour and actions, otherwise your marriage is bound to fall to pieces.
Me, well I live the double life. By day, Im an amazing student, a hard worker, a participant in a large and busy family and a good girlfriend. By night/weekends however i do almost a transformation living the life of clubs, drugs and crazy sex. My boyfriend who I love very much and plan to marry, lives this way also. We are very happy in our lifestyle because lets face it - double-lifers get the best of both worlds and, as long as you can control it, these worlds won't collide.
My personal belief is that when I do decide to get married, im not going to stop having fun and partying, but I will continue to include my spouse, that to me is what marriage is all about - sharing every little one of life's experiences with one another. So to answer the first Thread- I know what its like to need to feel grounded, but I believe a life of cheating and lying (even if its only twice a year) will come back to you. Why not just marry/be in a relationship with someone like you and build a trusting relationship from there?
that is all :) |
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| jdat |
Slylee can I be honest without you back fireing on me?
So you want to be in a committed relationship but at the same time be a party girl?
You come in here tell us about your wicked party habits and how you broke up with that bf of yours only to hear you went back with him 2 days later cause he buttered you up.
I'm not holding a judgement on you, I don't care what you do with your own life, but in the end the only person all this matters to is yourself. If you think you can handle the damage go for it but as I've said before don't come back crawling on the ground when things aren't the way you want them to be.
Fine, be strong, but don't be stupid. |
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| Slylee |
| so if i marry craig, you think i should express to him that i need these once a year binge weekends and that he has nothing to worry about (as far as me cheating)? |
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