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The double-lifer thread (pg. 3)
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| Ms.xTc |
| Well if there is something to worry about (as far as you cheating) then i dont think you should try to tell him otherwise. Maybe just make it known that you may need to get out and do what you need to do. If you get married you should not be intimate with anyone else but your partner.. even if its not intimacy - just sex. |
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| Azz3D |
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
Incorrect. The moral code that most of western society subscribes to is that which is enshrined by the judeo-christian faiths. This is a moral code that was developed thousands of years ago in a world which was by all meaninful considerations alien to that in which we now live. This moral code accepts things like pity to be a virtue, weakness to be a strenght, suffering to be noble, and intent to be the most important criteria on which to judge the value of an act. None of these ideals work for the benefit of the modern world. Especially the idea that only if one's intent has value then the act is valuable. |
I agree but I was referring specifically to the union and the agreement of two people to stay with each other "until death do us part" otherwise known as marriage. It just sickens me that most people in america are willing to betray and spit in the face of that agreement by cheating and unfaithfullness.
I am not referring to marriage via church, because quite franky religion means squat to me. It seems like people nowadays are becoming the very antithesis of what they were three or four decades ago.
Times have changed, I agree but that does not mean people should change too. |
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| jdat |
and ps:
if you brought this subject up is because I think you do feel a bit of guilt deep down inside ;) :) |
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| Boomer187 |
well give me a call when you do come out here to vegas :wtf:
hehe, its wild living here, lotsa double lives. :) |
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| Slylee |
| quote: | Originally posted by jdat
Slylee can I be honest without you back fireing on me?
So you want to be in a committed relationship but at the same time be a party girl?
You come in here tell us about your wicked party habits and how you broke up with that bf of yours only to hear you went back with him 2 days later cause he buttered you up.
I'm not holding a judgement on you, I don't care what you do with your own life, but in the end the only person all this matters to is yourself. If you think you can handle the damage go for it but as I've said before don't come back crawling on the ground when things aren't the way you want them to be.
Fine, be strong, but don't be stupid. |
what i'm saying is that my boyfriend now keeps me grounded, and he doesn’t do drugs or party…I don’t like the idea of being with someone who parties. I don’t know why, I just don’t. I had a double-lifer boyfriend and there was always drama. I’m not saying that I would cheat on my boyfriend or lie to him all the time. I was basically referring to like having a once or twice a year binge weekend and do drugs and party like there’s no tomorrow. I guess I wouldn’t want my straight-laced husband to know because he would be worried sick about me. I just started thinking about my party days because of all the drug threads this morning and it got me thinking about whether or not I’ll do drugs again. Right now it looks like I won’t because I’m really content being “normal” and having a nice solid drug-free relationship with an amazing guy. I’m just wondering if this will last for ever. |
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| trance4life627 |
, vegas...i bet there is
probably triple lives as well :wtf: |
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| Ms.xTc |
| Not to stick up for Stylee but maybe it is confusion and not guilt. Sometimes this lifestyle may feel as if it is getting in the way of other things and in this case, its her decision to enter a major committed relationship pr live the life of parties. If there is no marriage yet there cant be too much guilt yet either. |
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| Azz3D |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
what i'm saying is that my boyfriend now keeps me grounded, and he doesn’t do drugs or party…I don’t like the idea of being with someone who parties. I don’t know why, I just don’t. I had a double-lifer boyfriend and there was always drama. I’m not saying that I would cheat on my boyfriend or lie to him all the time. I was basically referring to like having a once or twice a year binge weekend and do drugs and party like there’s no tomorrow. I guess I wouldn’t want my straight-laced husband to know because he would be worried sick about me. I just started thinking about my party days because of all the drug threads this morning and it got me thinking about whether or not I’ll do drugs again. Right now it looks like I won’t because I’m really content being “normal” and having a nice solid drug-free relationship with an amazing guy. I’m just wondering if this will last for ever. |
you're a party person...how do you think he feels then? |
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| DigitalPhoenix |
Well I can see your point Jamie:
I have 2 friends that are engaged and they both live double lifes. Problem is that when one wants to stop..the other one doesnt,
so it becomes a fight, and fingers are pointed at one point or
other placing guilt on each other.
That sucks. How do you enjoy yur double life like that???
I have someone that is not a partier, but let's me do my thang therefore she levels me out.
If we were both partiers, we'd be broke and probably bitter.
The lesson here:
The Ying and The Yang.
;) :D |
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| Floorfiller |
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
it's not a question of maturity, it's a question of experience. It's easy to be idealistic and judgemental when you have little experience in the real world. You think things should happen a certain way because that is what fits with the morals, ethics, and values you have been taught. When you age a little and experience the real world for what it is you soon realize that those morals, ethics and values often betray you and do not always work in your interests or the interests of those you care about. This will confuse you at first and you will resist it, however, inevitably you will learn that morals, ethics, and values are flawed and should be at best viewed as guidelines to be adheered to when possible but abandoned when required. While we would all like to live in a perfect world where everything works the way you want it and you can do whatever you choose without consequence and everyone understands and respects you and your life the cold hard truth is that we don't, we never will, and we wouldn't actually like it if we did. You have to learn to make the best out of what you have, sometimes that means you do things you don't like or that other people would not approve of. If you can't learn to adapt you are doomed to fail! |
i only used the term immature because you said i had growing up to do.
what you're saying sounds pretty pessimistic to me. it sounds as if you're suggesting that life isn't going to be what we want so we might as well manipulate it into something more pleasurable for ourselves. i'm not holding onto some kind of archaic moral system. you say that the cold hard truth is that not everyone respects my life and i completely agree, but i don't see how that effects a marriage, which in my opinion is a commitment to do just that. you can't be selfish in marriage i'm sure you're aware...however you seem to be suggesting that we act in our own best interests when we can in secret, which i don't agree with. this thread isn't about lying about your wife being fat or something, it's about a deception that challenges the foundation of your relationship with this other person. |
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| Ms.xTc |
| now that you have clairified it makes more sense Stylee. And honestly, I wouldnt want to give up the lifestyle so Good for you. :) |
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| Moral Hazard |
| quote: | Originally posted by Azz3D
I agree but I was referring specifically to the union and the agreement of two people to stay with each other "until death do us part" otherwise known as marriage. It just sickens me that most people in america are willing to betray and spit in the face of that agreement by cheating and unfaithfullness. |
This bothers me as well. I sincerely hope I am able to resist temptation and live my entire life without cheating on my wife. At times I'm not convinced I will be able to do this, however, I trully want to. I trust that the same is true of my wife. That said, I would not throw away our marriage over one instance of infedelity. Since this is the case I would also just as soon not be aware of any such infedelity if it were to occure. I have told my wife this.... "if you cheat never tell me, it only hurts if I know." My thinking is since I would not end the marriage what is the good in me knowing about the infedelity, if the truth does more harm then good then the truth should not be revealed. |
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