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SPOILER THREAD - 24 (pg. 15)
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| Protege |
| quote: | Originally posted by CGRumler
Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer ing hates lemonade.
When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.
Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.
Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.
Jack Bauer has been to Mars. Thats why theres no life on Mars. |
Funniest thing I read in a while:stongue: :stongue: :haha: :haha: |
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| paranoik0 |
started to watch season 4.. i'll catch up with you guys within a week or two :cool:
and :stongue: to that list |
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| djdimensions |
very ist episode was filmed @ my middle school
awesome show tho |
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| djkoolaide |
| haha damn, i was changing chuck norris jokes to jack bauer jokes last night at work. those would've been handy to have :p |
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| Boomer187 |
| too bad jack is getting soft in his age, back a few years ago no assassin could crack his ribs. wtf. |
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| fastmp3 |
| quote: | Originally posted by CGRumler
You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.
If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
Every time you maturbate Jack Bauer kills a terrorist. Not beacuase you masurbated, but because that is how often he kills terrorists.
Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.
Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.
Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.
When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer ing hates lemonade.
Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.
Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.
The quickest way to a man's heart is through Jack Bauer's gun.
Jack Bauer let the dogs out.
Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better ing do it.
Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.
Deaf people listen to Jack bauer.
People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.
It would only take 1 bullet for Jack Bauer to kill 50 Cent.
When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.
Jack Bauer has been to Mars. Thats why theres no life on Mars. |
woahahahahahahaha thank you so much for the quotes :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: |
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| fastmp3 |
| jack bauer does simply walk into mordor |
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| Boomer187 |
| quote: | Originally posted by fastmp3
jack bauer does simply walk into mordor |
In soviet russia, mordor simply walks into jack bauer. |
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| lücid |
| quote: | Originally posted by Boomer187
In soviet russia, mordor simply walks into jack bauer. |
haha, i forget who said it, but it makes me lol whenever i think about it...
"in soviet russia, bauer jacks you!" |
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| Radagast |
| quote: | Originally posted by CGRumler
You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.
If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
Every time you maturbate Jack Bauer kills a terrorist. Not beacuase you masurbated, but because that is how often he kills terrorists.
Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.
Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.
Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.
When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer ing hates lemonade.
Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.
Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.
The quickest way to a man's heart is through Jack Bauer's gun.
Jack Bauer let the dogs out.
Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better ing do it.
Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.
Deaf people listen to Jack bauer.
People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.
It would only take 1 bullet for Jack Bauer to kill 50 Cent.
When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.
Jack Bauer has been to Mars. Thats why theres no life on Mars. |
It's almost as if i've seen this a trillion times before, only "Jack Bauer" was replaced with "Chuck Norris", "Vin Diesel", or "Bill Brasky". And it was only funny the first time, because it was about Bill Brasky. |
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