|
/rant about lack of a job
|
View this Thread in Original format
| _Ocean_Drive_ |
Being a graduate sucks. 3 months after graduating with 2:1, still no job :mad:
APPLICATION FORM
Do you enjoy working in a young, fast-paced, dynamic, money hungry/driven environment? If this sounds like you, we want to hear from you!
All we ask is that you have 673 A grades at A2-Level or equivalent.
You must have 654 million years experience working with dinosaurs or other Jurassic creatures, and have worked extensively in selling to triceratops in b2b relationships. Experience of building aircraft with your bare hands is desirable but not essential.
Please complete the following questions - be sure to save your application as you go.
"Tell us about a time when you organised 500 orangutans in south WEST Africa (This must be South WEST Africa - applicants who have organised of 500 orangutans in NORTH west Africa will not be considered) and directed a group of 37 (not 38, or 39) people and what you did raise or save profits for an organisation.
Tell us the problems you faced, and how you overcame them.
What was the end result?
***
Thank you for completing our online application, you will be hearing from us shortly.
**'Shortly' passes**
Dear Sir,
Thank you for your recent online application reagrding working for us. After careful consideration, we have decided not to proceed with your application. We would like to take this opportunity to thank you for applying to us, and wish you every sucess with your future career. Please feel free to give us money though, we won't reject that.
:whip: :whip: :whip: :whip: :whip: :whip: :whip: :whip: :whip: :whip: :whip: :whip: |
|
|
| pkcRAISTLIN |
| you mean to tell me people that propogate ignorant conspiracy theories ARENT sought after material by the world's corporate elite!? go figure! :conf: |
|
|
| KilldaDJ |
the ever so popular 'oh we've just filled this position today, sorry'
maybe i should get a job as a drug dealer. |
|
|
| _Ocean_Drive_ |
| quote: | Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN
you mean to tell me people that propogate ignorant conspiracy theories ARENT sought after material by the world's corporate elite. |
Yep. |
|
|
| jdat |
| The streets are calling your name! |
|
|
| Ian |
| said before, my brother has the same problem, he has his degree but they want experience, how can he get experience? by getting a job, how can he get this job? by having experience :conf: |
|
|
| Mr.Mystery |
| So much for education being good for you, eh? I've never graduated and I've been making money for five years now. |
|
|
| Ian |
| yeah but look how bitter it's made you! |
|
|
| kid nyce |
Think i touched this topic with you before OceanDrive, fact of the matter is you need to go out there and search and search. I found sending in a resume does not mean taking the one you wrote and sending it to all these companies, only to be rejected.
In all honesty, I found I got a greater response if I picked 5 of 25 positions I thought I was an ideal candidate for, tailored my resume to fit the job description they posted. Sounds crazy I know, fact is I got more calls back when I did this rather than hitting Monster.com and posting my resume and sending it everywhere without thinking about it.
Ok so you need 'experience', a good experience qualifier is listing how you were proactively participating (yet not being paid) in some sort of organization. Whether it be some school affiliated program or some local market walk-a-thon, you need to demonstrate that you can work in a group setting. A nice list of those types of participation, an above par GPA w/degree, and a nice list of skill sets you can offer that company which you've tailored your resume to, should net you some positive response. |
|
|
| Mr.Mystery |
| quote: | Originally posted by Ian
yeah but look how bitter it's made you! |
Actually it's been quite the opposite. I just can't be bothered anymore. |
|
|
| _Ocean_Drive_ |
| quote: | Originally posted by kid nyce
Think i touched this topic with you before OceanDrive, fact of the matter is you need to go out there and search and search. I found sending in a resume does not mean taking the one you wrote and sending it to all these companies, only to be rejected.
In all honesty, I found I got a greater response if I picked 5 of 25 positions I thought I was an ideal candidate for, tailored my resume to fit the job description they posted. Sounds crazy I know, fact is I got more calls back when I did this rather than hitting Monster.com and posting my resume and sending it everywhere without thinking about it.
Ok so you need 'experience', a good experience qualifier is listing how you were proactively participating (yet not being paid) in some sort of organization. Whether it be some school affiliated program or some local market walk-a-thon, you need to demonstrate that you can work in a group setting. A nice list of those types of participation, an above par GPA w/degree, and a nice list of skill sets you can offer that company which you've tailored your resume to, should net you some positive response. |
Thanks for the response. Yep, I've been doing pretty much what you've written. I've been searching every day for the past 3 months, I've tailored my CV to different companies. I never send 'generic' ones.
The whole thing is a pain though. The grad schemes are out my reach 'cos I screwed up my A-Levels, and the experience thing - well that's a conundrum in itself. |
|
|
| StanVoid |
| lol, i liked the bit about south WEST africa rofflez |
|
|
|
|
