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Slylee's late night emo thread (pg. 6)
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| nrjizer |
| quote: | Originally posted by Ang ' ela_ie
Its really not dependability, if thats even a word. Im working on my PhD right now and have always ALWAYS set goals for myself so that I would never have to depend on anyone else, even when Im married. I think youre reading me wrong. I just want someone who is motivated and takes on some responsibility in life. Financially, emotionally, and eventually with children. Its not such an uncommon thing for women to want. |
Indeed, but problems occur when one side of the relationship expects that out of the other, but doesn't uphold themselves to the same standards. I.e. the gold digger who wants a man to take care of her. Obviously you don't subscribe to this particular mindset, but it should be noted that this happens all too often. |
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| mezzir |
this isn't a true emo thread
no one's complained about their s/o and asked for advice yet iirc |
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| Ang ' ela_ie |
| quote: | Originally posted by mezzir
this isn't a true emo thread
no one's complained about their s/o and asked for advice yet iirc |
Quick, everyone think about slitting their wrists. |
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| Lilith |
| quote: | Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On
I guess what I am trying to say is that "chasing something which probably doesnt exist" is just as foolish as chasing something that does. Seeing the goodness and the wholeness in another person (even if you must chase them) is something that you must create, not look for.
/ambling, out of control emo nonsense |
Yes, but if youre not willing to comprimise something for a time then you'll just end up disappointed with what you have if it decides to change over time and people do tend to do that. You always need some degree of flexibility in dealing with other people, aside from the "Me Me Me!" aspect which gets wearisome.
You only get 50% "Me Me Me!" in any relationship, soon as it skew to a higher or lower percentage then the trouble begins and it's usually over someone elses own sense of superiority or unwillingness to reason with the other.
It's probably also why the divorce rate is so high.
No one's willing to put up with anything less than absolute best all the time and demanding more than their share and theyre always twisting the other to their own ideals rather than who's staring back at them. |
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| nrjizer |
| quote: | Originally posted by mezzir
this isn't a true emo thread
no one's complained about their s/o and asked for advice yet iirc |
Or posted arm's length pictures of themselves looking away from the camera with the contrast tweaked way too ing high |
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| mezzir |
| quote: | Originally posted by nrjizer
Or posted arm's length pictures of themselves looking away from the camera with the contrast tweaked way too ing high |
or b/w and not enough contrast, those work too |
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| Halcyon+On+On |
| quote: | Originally posted by Ang ' ela_ie
Its really not dependability, if thats even a word. Im working on my PhD right now and have always ALWAYS set goals for myself so that I would never have to depend on anyone else, even when Im married. I think youre reading me wrong. I just want someone who is motivated and takes on some responsibility in life. Financially, emotionally, and eventually with children. Its not such an uncommon thing for women to want. Ive progressively wanted this characteristic more and more since college. |
Sounds reasonable enough. In my opinion though, truly loving somebody is not depending on them or depending on you, but trusting more in your togetherness than anyone - maybe I am just too much of an idealist though. I think that people's expectations eventually become their downfall, but I'm not really one to say whether or not you find who you are looking for. :)
| quote: | | Me too, its why I have ridiculously high standards. I know whats going to eventually piss me off, and I dont want to even start something with someone if they dont live up to a few bars I have set. |
Fair enough, but before you made it sound as though you demanded a very inhuman-like degree of responsibility out of someone else haha
Nobody really wants to be with somebody who is irresponsible (though it sure seems like they do sometimes, huh? :rolleyes: ), but demanding that they are completely self-sufficient in every sense of the word just seems like an odd thing to look for within another - it would almost seem as though you don't trust them, but like you said, I am likely reading you wrong. |
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| Halcyon+On+On |
| quote: | Originally posted by Lilith
Yes, but if youre not willing to comprimise something for a time then you'll just end up disappointed with what you have if it decides to change over time and people do tend to do that. You always need some degree of flexibility in dealing with other people, aside from the "Me Me Me!" aspect which gets wearisome.
You only get 50% "Me Me Me!" in any relationship, soon as it skew to a higher or lower percentage then the trouble begins and it's usually over someone elses own sense of superiority or unwillingness to reason with the other.
It's probably also why the divorce rate is so high.
No one's willing to put up with anything less than absolute best all the time and demanding more than their share and theyre always twisting the other to their own ideals rather than who's staring back at them. |
I definitely agree. People allow their expectations of others to blind them all too often. They fall in love with an idea - not the other person. |
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| Arbiter |
In the past I've tried to analyze "love" in general and I've realized that it's quite futile.
Different people describe so many different particular states of emotion as "love" that any generalization you try to make about it as if it were a singular phenomenon that could be evaluated in a vacuum is doomed to only pertain to some subset of those situations described with the term.
For a concept that is as important to most people as "love," the language to describe those feelings in specific terms is quite lacking. |
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| Allied Nations |
| quote: | Originally posted by Arbiter
In the past I've tried to analyze "love" in general and I've realized that it's quite futile.
Different people describe so many different particular states of emotion as "love" that any generalization you try to make about it as if it were a singular phenomenon that could be evaluated in a vacuum is doomed to only pertain to some subset of those situations described with the term.
For a concept that is as important to most people as "love," the language to describe those feelings in specific terms is quite lacking. |
You are so sterile sometimes. |
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| Lilith |
| quote: | Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On
I definitely agree. People allow their expectations of others to blind them all too often. They fall in love with an idea - not the other person. |
Well go for the double whammy in the 1+1 equation and with enough digging around you'll find most people arent happy with themselves or at ease with their own company to ever be easy to get along with. It's why young women starve themselves into trying to look like something they arent or young men doing foolish activities to prove their manhood.
Thats enough dear Abi for me tonight, rest of em can work it out themselves or die trying I suppose :haha: |
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| Arbiter |
| quote: | Originally posted by Allied Nations
You are so sterile sometimes. |
If you want accurate results, you have to make such observations with an appropriate degree of sterility. Otherwise, you'll contaminate the sample. |
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