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See, spinsteration is now the majority!!!........ (pg. 8)
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| zokissima |
| quote: | Originally posted by rabbitjoker
When in a relationship one has to step outside of themselves when making decisions and take into consideration their partner.
The thought process has to go beyond asking "am I comfortable with this?/do I think this is the right decision?" and move towards asking "would my partner be comfortable with this?/would my partner think this is the right decision?". This is part of what being in a serious relationship is about - consideration.
Regardless if you're comfortable or if you think it is the right decision - if your partner wouldn't agree then it would be prudent to avoid getting into the situation.
This goes for all things - not just infidelity. |
This, in my opinion, explains this whole thread in a very eloquent post. I could not agree more.
We live in a society where the generally accepted mindset is "me me me, mine mine mine", and someone with that predominant idology will have a difficult time thriving in a relationship. We all look for the same things in a partner, but many lack the confidence and strength to deal with small issues. There is a lack of respect towards the other individual in the relationship. Most people I've met that are in a relationship are completely unable to let go of their own mindset, and attempt to consider the relationship stance from their partner's viewpoint. Overtime, this inability will breed contempt for even the smallest of disagreements, and soon the love will fade from focus, being replaced with a cruel joy of having someone there whom can be used directly or indirectly to vent frustrations. We strive for perfection from the get-go, and are unable to deal with the fact that this is in fact a whole new, different person than yourself, with their own thoughts and emotions and motives. In a way, we all stupidly expect our partner to think along the same lines of reason as us...
Back to original topic of less marriage - well RJ you said it then too, I do not believe that there are less partnerships. If anything, romance and its ideals, the idea of true love, and finding the significant other are stronger now than they were before. People are partnering up just as much, but perhaps the constitution or idea of marriage is not as popular. Due to the selfish nature of mentalities today, it is easier to feel alone, and to crave comfort from another. Thus those asking for comfort are looking from a more pure perspective. Or maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic and see the world through my own perspectives. Probably :p
I believe that partnering, in past generations, was as much about love as it was about the socially accepted, if not required, place to be. This is an idea common to many cultures and countries around the world, even today. But I think it is this that has started to change. |
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| urban_legend |
| quote: | Originally posted by rabbitjoker
You confuse trust with respect, courtesy and consideration.
They are not the same. |
But you still need trust there right? Respect comes with courtesy and consideration. You respected thier feelings and emotions. Yes no? |
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| Silky Johnson |
| quote: | Originally posted by urban_legend
hahaha oh you remembered hahah, oh man that was jokes.
Jen you need to come hang out again, so fun. Ahh Duke street. |
DUKE STREET 4 LIFE, YO!! <3 |
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| urban_legend |
| quote: | Originally posted by StereoPrincess
:rolleyes:
at the stalker talk. we don't live in a movie. |
Wow are you ever missing the points here and I think you are just now babbling to hear the sound of your own keys typing just so you can still try and imput on this thread and feel like a contributer. |
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| StereoPrincess |
| quote: | Originally posted by urban_legend
Wow are you ever missing the points here and I think you are just now babbling to hear the sound of your own keys typing just so you can still try and imput on this thread and feel like a contributer. |
wow, i hope your girlfriend reads this thread.
i hope she sees, the self-centered guy, that will think of her (but only when there is another hot chick on him), and is validated by the amount if chicks that "want him". |
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| urban_legend |
| quote: | Originally posted by StereoPrincess
wow, i hope your girlfriend reads this thread.
i hope she sees, the self-centered guy, that will think of her (but only when there is another hot chick on him), and is validated by the amount if chicks that "want him". |
hahahaha oh man your too much in no way am I self centred at all and I think anybody here who knows me well enough can atest to that. And I think about her all the time, if I had a GF that is, never did I state that I only think about her during only those times and shes validated by knowing I am always at her side and I love her more tahn life itself and I would put myself in front of a barrelling transport truck for her.
Can you say anything else retarded please? |
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| zokissima |
| quote: | Originally posted by urban_legend
Well to answer this my gf didnt party at all. We trusted each other, we have that common knowledge that if we let each other go out nothing will happen, again its about trust and RESPECT , man I am running outta breath by saying this. RESPECT. If you dont trust your partner to go out by themselves you got nadda. Sometimes it backfires on you though which recently happened to me as well where I let my other go out alone on a sat night and found out she lied to me about what she died and where she was, live and learn which is why shes not around anymore. You do get kicked in this game called love but again its all aboutthe trust.
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In a way, I can see where you're comming from. But maybe you're just lucky, or different, to have a gf who doesn't give a what you do with whom, so long as you don't cheat, and in that same way, you don't give a what she does with whom, again so long as neither of you cheats and lies. That can be a very, very strong relationship. But from my own experiences, I find that very few relationships are THAT trusting, and usually that level of trust takes a long time to build. So, one has to beg the question, are you that lucky? Or how much did you really love her/her love you for having such an open relationship?
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3)I wasnt telling it in an mannor to gloat. And she respected me more and loved me more after I told her because I have nothing to hide and I had shown I could resist temptation. I am a half decent looking guy I think and I have good manners and am a gentlemen I would expect other females to find me attractive and I am sure my partner would know that, as I know that of her because she is beautiful and kind and generous. If she wants to get jealous thats her perogitive, be mad at the girl I say she knew she was around and disregarded that. |
That's quite an advanced state of mind, to put all jealousy aside. Personally, I don't know how much you can love someone without having at least some degree of jealousy...from both parties. |
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| English Rachel |
This is not a chinamon thread :p
So, if the whole world has changed as far as relationhip habits/levels of comfort are concerned - what do you guys think of internet dating? |
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| Skipper |
| quote: | Originally posted by rabbitjoker
Infidelity is absolutely unacceptable behavior and I think it is important that society still maintains this position. |
Infidelity, yes, monogomy, no.
If two people decide they want and can handle an open relationship, good for them. They shouldn't feel they need to be monogomous just because that is what society thinks they should do. |
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| urban_legend |
| quote: | Originally posted by English Rachel
This is not a chinamon thread :p
So, if the whole world has changed as far as relationhip habits/levels of comfort are concerned - what do you guys think of internet dating? |
internet dating is cool, you find out more about the person that way and fall for for the personality than the physical, however, alot of people lie out there and bad things can happen, alot of predators out on the net. But I have done it. Nothing really solid ever came from it though. |
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| Skipper |
trying to establish what constitutes cheating is pointless, but there are a few questions you should be asking yourself when in a certain situation:
- Would I want my GF/BF here in this situation?
- Will I tell them exactly what I am doing? What do I expect his/her reaction to be if I do?
- How would I feel if they were doing what I am doing/about to do?
These questions will generally indicate whether you should stop or go ahead. |
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| urban_legend |
| quote: | Originally posted by zokissima
That's quite an advanced state of mind, to put all jealousy aside. Personally, I don't know how much you can love someone without having at least some degree of jealousy...from both parties. |
Fair enough and I have gotten a bit jealous but like I said knowing that she is there for me calms me down so I dont get upset jealous. There is a difference between upset jealousy and just being jealous right? I am sure she was jealous but not to the point of being mad and thats where that has to be controled because jealousy can rip apart relationships. |
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