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ADVICE: Relationships (pg. 5)
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| tiesto14 |
| quote: | Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On
People do not change - they just get better or worse at hiding their true selves.
Doesn't that just totally justify your inklings towards hatred? lol
Perhaps you forgot to mention it in your original post, but have you actually tried talking with her about this? I know it sounds as though it's hard to get a hold of her anymore, but if you call her up one day and just say "we really need to talk in person - it's important" then she'd better find some time to allocate to you, even if only a few minutes. Tell her exactly how all of this feels. It is not going to be easy at all, so prepare yourself for whatever happens.
And at this point, don't hold on to the things she says - she loves you, she wants to marry you, forever-ness, etc... - it's easy to say these things to others whom you feel close to, but not actually have any eventual intentions of following through with them. Her actions are speaking much louder than words, even if it's an ugly thing to come to realize this. |
We speak about it all the time...last night, the night before etc etc. And she says its not that she doesnt want to see me or spend time with me but instead that she made a commitment to work this summer and she needs the money. Then when i ask her about next summer if it will be the same way she says she doesnt know if she wants to do the same business again but i feel is leaning towards doing it again regardless of the fact that i have told her how it makes me feel and the limited time, if any, we spend together. |
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| UWM |
This thread is making me:
A) Angry at you for being so obtuse.
B) Sympathetic for you that you are, at 32, still so obtuse.
3) Happy that I am single. |
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| tiesto14 |
| quote: | Originally posted by UWM
DUDE. That right there says enough. Cut her the off. If she can't even make time to talk about how your relationship is crumbling she obviously couldn't give a less about it. |
she says thats all we talk about...and the reason i always tlak about it is because she will not give me an answer on what her plans for next summer are yet....and i am telling her flat out i will leave her if she gives me another summer like this one with NO time together. Then she gets mad. |
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| VAR |
| time for a one night stand to help you move on and get over this chick. |
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| bubble |
| just sprinkle a little lemon on it and then rinse it with cold water. |
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| Omega_Blue |
| yeah, i think what you want in this thread isn't advice, but people to say "ooohhhh, poor baby. that sucks dude. awww." or "nah man, work it out, you'll be ok. she just needs blah blah blah.." |
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| Omega_Blue |
| quote: | Originally posted by tiesto14
she says thats all we talk about...and the reason i always tlak about it is because she will not give me an answer on what her plans for next summer are yet....and i am telling her flat out i will leave her if she gives me another summer like this one with NO time together. Then she gets mad. |
and furthermore how the hell is she supposed to know what's going to happen in a year? wtf man |
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| tiesto14 |
i feel if she loves me like she says she does she would come to a decision on what her plans are...i feel UWM is right that her mind is made up and she doesnt know how to bring it to me....
All her friends and family tell her i am a jerk cus i dont stand by her while does this job and support her....but thats bull...i do not see her except for a few hours at a few nights....
them. |
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| tiesto14 |
| quote: | Originally posted by Omega_Blue
and furthermore how the hell is she supposed to know what's going to happen in a year? wtf man |
because inorder to get this business she has to know by next month. |
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| UWM |
| quote: | Originally posted by Omega_Blue
and furthermore how the hell is she supposed to know what's going to happen in a year? wtf man |
LOL that's exactly what I was about to say. |
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| Orbax |
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| DJ_Eternal |
| quote: | Originally posted by tiesto14
We speak about it all the time...last night, the night before etc etc. And she says its not that she doesnt want to see me or spend time with me but instead that she made a commitment to work this summer and she needs the money. Then when i ask her about next summer if it will be the same way she says she doesnt know if she wants to do the same business again but i feel is leaning towards doing it again regardless of the fact that i have told her how it makes me feel and the limited time, if any, we spend together. |
I'd probably echo what UWM has already said in this thread.
It's also possible that the badgering from you is not helping to improve the circumstances and could in fact be pushing her even further away from you.
To be honest it's a bit of a 'catch 22' situation that you find yourself in. If you pay her more attention than she finds comfortable, you'll end up driving her away from you; but if you don't pay enough attention to her, it could also have the same effect.
From what you say, it sounds you want to spent more time with her than she does with you, which is causing you to drift apart a little, in the sense that you want more from this than she clearly does. When two people start to want different things in a relationship, that can never be a good thing and will only inevitably lead to a split.
Due to a series of unfortunate circumstances, you two seem to want different things based on how she is behaving and I would probably recommend a break from each other for a while or ultimately a
complete split.
It happens in life, you just have to move her along and find another.
/Dr Phil |
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