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kids. (pg. 5)
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| Esiotrat |
Something on topic a friend of mine sent me yesterday lol.
POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5, or more.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
** AND A FOOTNOTE -- THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! ** |
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| nchs09 |
| quote: | Originally posted by lücid
my mom didn't have me until she was 36, and had my brother at 39 (and |
so late..... |
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| bananas |
| quote: | Originally posted by Enigmatik
I definitely want a kid, only 1, a boy (preferably).
Not right now though..in a couple of years when I'm more ready and financially stable. I think I'll be a great mommy. :) |
Well, you're deff gonna be a MILF:wtf: |
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| narcism |
| i wouldnt mind having some kids, just dont see it in the near future, maybe 5-6 yrs down the track, perspectives change as you get older :) |
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| echosystm |
i like kids. kids are what we are here for; survive and replicate. not having kids is like not existing at all.
i used to think i wanted two children, but now i'm thinking maybe only one, so that i can spoil the out of it and make it a super baby. :) |
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| AMMORA |
| quote: | Originally posted by echosystm
i like kids. kids are what we are here for; survive and replicate. not having kids is like not existing at all.
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whats so bad about not existing at all? i could point out about 10 million people that needed to not exist...
having babies is totally over-rated. if we're such an evolved species why the f*ck do we still reproduce to the point that we're limiting our resources for future generations?
no babies for me, i'll have a few cats. |
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| Echo of Silence |
| quote: | Originally posted by bananas
well if it was with echoes, I wouldn't wanna be drugged:wtf: |
You would, trust me.
;)
I'm so sick of studying and writing papers, putting together posters and presentations...I yearn for the simple life. I want to go home and marry a simple man, make three or four babies, ride my bike to the market, grow veggies and pretty flowers, play piano, sing silly songs, sew quilts, and and and bake pastries.
:gsmile: |
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| pinkbubblegum |
| quote: | Originally posted by Echo of Silence
I'm so sick of studying and writing papers, putting together posters and presentations...I yearn for the simple life. I want to go home and marry a simple man, make three or four babies, ride my bike to the market, grow veggies and pretty flowers, play piano, sing silly songs, sew quilts, and and and bake pastries.
:gsmile: |
What's stopping you? |
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| gehzumteufel |
| quote: | Originally posted by pinkbubblegum
What's stopping you? |
She is finishing her masters program.
Chrissy: you should get online. ;) |
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| Esiotrat |
| quote: | Originally posted by AMMORA
whats so bad about not existing at all? i could point out about 10 million people that needed to not exist...
having babies is totally over-rated. if we're such an evolved species why the f*ck do we still reproduce to the point that we're limiting our resources for future generations?
no babies for me, i'll have a few cats. |
Yeah..some people just shouldn't have kids. Period.
I respect people who have children. I respect people even more if they know they can't do it, for whatever reason, be it financial, maturity, or what have you. I really really don't respect people who selfishly bring children into this world if they cannot care for them. It's unfair to the child. |
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| elFreak |
Im on the fence. Sometimes i want them, and sometimes i don't. I love kids, i'm pretty great with them (similar maturity levels.), the only thing holding me back is that i would not want to have them with someone i can't see myself being with until they are raised. Broken homes = stripper poles. I lose interest in most women within 2 months these days so for now i'll use other people's kids to hone the parental skills. The best thing about that is they go home, you get drunk and go to a brothel after without a wife bitching.
score. |
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| Project-K |
| quote: | Originally posted by AMMORA
if we're such an evolved species |
A common misconception spread by people who desperately need to feel more important than they really are. |
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