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Friday 271: Post, You Mofos! (pg. 12)
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| Zoso |
| quote: | Originally posted by Ted Promo
Were you fiscally prescient and wanted to get in on the ground floor you can send me money. I'm creating an app called TRAINRUNNERS. It's sole intent is to link people up for local gangbangs. There are apps out there that cater to general sinful behavior and lasciviousness for those with looser morals. TRAINRUNNERS will specialize in gangbangs.
Give me money. |
Drinks and gangbang first, then money. I thought gangbangs were like drugs - the first one is free? :conf: |
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| Dykes_on_Jay |
| quote: | Originally posted by Ted Promo
Were you fiscally prescient and wanted to get in on the ground floor you can send me money. I'm creating an app called TRAINRUNNERS. It's sole intent is to link people up for local gangbangs. There are apps out there that cater to general sinful behavior and lasciviousness for those with looser morals. TRAINRUNNERS will specialize in gangbangs.
Give me money. |
Walmart is easier. No matter what time of day, there is at least one person in Walmart that is at all times down to have a choo choo train run on them. |
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| Zoso |
| quote: | Originally posted by Dykes_on_Jay
Walmart is easier. |
For getting money, arranging local gangbangs, or both? |
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| Silky Johnson |
| quote: | Originally posted by Zoso
I think some issues got conflated, here. I was initially attempting to imply that I would never come out of my introvert/social anxiety shell or become "confident enough" to travel/see the world/etc.
It shifted then to lifestyle change (read: exercise) as a way to gain confidence. But I had already, for a 12 year period, exercised consistently, and that had nothing to do with my anxiety...or my confidence. I did it because I enjoyed it, and it relieved stress.
I then developed daily, chronic/debilitating pain, which is greatly amplified by the exercises I had done for 12 years. So, other than walking, I have abandoned those activities.
Somehow things shifted to "he has all these issues because he's not confident; he's not confident because he doesn't exercise/change his lifestyle".
I was simply trying to explain 1.) exercise has nothing to do with my confidence levels; 2.) I did exercise daily for 12 years and loved it; 3.) I can no longer do those daily exercises due to chronic pain, which so far has remained undiagnosed by multiple doctors. Truly, it is that simple. |
I never said that. It legit sounds like your chronic pain is somatic in nature. That is, related to your anxiety/stress responses. Especially pain in the absence of true musculoskeletal disorders and/or injury and anything showing up on imagining to identify bone/joint/tissue wear and tear.
CBT would help you identify and adjust the cognitive distortions that are crippling you. All of that stuff has a REAL physiological effect - elevated cortisol levels, which manifest in all kinds of ways, and pain is a big one!
Anyway. My advice remains the same. |
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| Zoso |
I did not say, or mean to say, that you gave advice that got issues conflated. I was just trying to say "here's how I seemed to have run this thread right off the rails".
I find your thoughts on the somatic nature of the pain insightful, actually. None of the doctors I have seen suggested such. They mostly gave me the impression that they did not believe me and were implying I was lying, though they never directly stated such.
I will say this: it's very possible that some amount of it is somatic. But when it first began to occur what I will call "regularly," it was physical in nature. E.g., when I first started working out, other than initial soreness from lactic acid, I never had any muscular or skeletal pain, no matter how intense the weight session. After about 6 or 7 years of that, I would get what I called "regular/quarterly" pain. That is, about 4 times a year, I would do something to cause horrendous pain that would leave me hunched over for 3 to 4 days before going back to normal. Now, each of those times was always brought on by one of two specific exercises: chest "butterflies" on the cable/pulley machine or preacher curls on the same machine. No other exercise ever caused/aggravated the pain; only those two, but only about 4 times a year.
Then, in December of the year I turned 37, that same pain went from quarterly to daily. I continued milder workouts for the next 3 or 4 years, but they were a pale comparison to what I did prior, but even avoiding the chest flies and preacher curls was not enough. The pain was just always there. The last 2 years have been even more intense. I can reach up right now and touch the spot, and it's sore/tender. But no imaging/scan has ever show a problem.
Now, with that said, when my wife had spinal fusion surgery last year, her surgeon told her there are only 2 MRI machines in the state of TN with the resolution needed for him to make what he feels is an accurate and proper diagnosis. I was NOT on either of those machines when I received my MRI. Once we get her chemo and spinal fusion paid off, I am going to schedule an appointment with the group that did her surgery and see if they feel an MRI on one of those 2 machines would reveal something, potentially. |
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| Silky Johnson |
| I mean, it's not a secret that mind and body are connected. Although it doesn't surprise me that, in the States specifically, this obvious fact would be overlooked by doctors. |
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| Zoso |
| quote: | Originally posted by Silky Johnson
I mean, it's not a secret that mind and body are connected. Although it doesn't surprise me that, in the States specifically, this obvious fact would be overlooked by doctors. |
You are correct - the mind and body are connected. I just feel that, based on how all this started, there is some underlying physical damage/injury that I did, years ago, that has degraded to the point that it's become chronic and then worse.
In any event, even as bad as the pain is, I would look at any surgery as a last resort. I know that no surgeon can "guarantee" the outcome of any procedure, but I would have to have a very high level of confidence expressed by the surgeon before even considering surgery. If I had a dollar for every person I've known who had a back surgery to fix some problem only to have the problem remain/get worse, I'd have a lot of dollars. Enough to buy Jay a Heineken Zero and you an edible, at least. ;) |
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| Silky Johnson |
| Sure, but even the way you describe your symptoms of both the pain and your anxiety it seems pretty obvious one will not heal without addressing the other. I dare say that maybe it is too familiar to you now, that maybe this is the only way you know how to be? What is your identity without crippling pain and anxiety? |
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| Zoso |
| quote: | Originally posted by Silky Johnson
Sure, but even the way you describe your symptoms of both the pain and your anxiety it seems pretty obvious one will not heal without addressing the other. I dare say that maybe it is too familiar to you now, that maybe this is the only way you know how to be? What is your identity without crippling pain and anxiety? |
Well, I am not saying they are unrelated...but I'm not sure how the 2 got linked in this discussion. Jay made a joke about posting stool pics, and I made a kratom + stool softener joke in reply. The anxiety discussion was unrelated and took place way, way before the chronic pain discussion. I only mentioned the pain because I was explaining the use of the aforementioned kratom.
I've had anxiety my entire life. Some of my earliest memories are related to that anxiety. I've only had chronic pain since I was 37, and I'm 43 now. So I don't see how they are causally related in, say, a 1:1 fashion. Does that make sense? In my head it does, and I know WHAT I want to say, but I feel like I am wording it poorly. I had anxiety before ANY of the pain started, that's what I guess I am stressing. The very first time I had any pain that I feel is related was some kind of injury I caused doing chest flys with dumbbells that were WAY too heavy. I should have taken 2 weeks off to heal then, and I did not. But even that was about 5 years into a total of 12 of lifting weekly. |
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| Zoso |
| quote: | Originally posted by Silky Johnson
What is your identity without crippling pain and anxiety? |
In all honesty, Jenny, I have never had ANY identity that didn't include anxiety. EVER. So I don't know what my identity would be without at least SOME anxiety.
I experienced 37 of my 43 years with NO chronic/daily pain, so I can identify with that, and I would LOVE to do so again. My identity w/out the pain was: much happier and much more active. I mean, , sitting around (or lying around, or walking, or anything) in debilitating pain just ing sucks, full stop, lol. |
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| Ted Promo |
| I feel like the broader gangbanging community is just the lifeline you need, Zoso. We care about each other. We plough each other. If you pursue us with speed and fervor I feel as though we can resolve the issues with your back and give you increasing pleasure for your backside. |
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| Zoso |
| quote: | Originally posted by Ted Promo
I feel like the broader gangbanging community is just the lifeline you need, Zoso. We care about each other. We plough each other. If you pursue us with speed and fervor I feel as though we can resolve the issues with your back and give you increasing pleasure for your backside. |
Wait, hold up. I gotta be a catcher, too? I told my agent, specifically, PITCHER ONLY. :o |
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