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Can men and women be just friends? (pg. 5)
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| Orbax |
Answers to Common Criticisms
Criticism:You're just bitter.
Answer:Maybe I am. But ladder theory made me that way, my bitterness did not make ladder theory. Attack the theory, not the person behind it. And why does everyone always say I'm bitter just because 99.999% of chicks are bitches?
Criticism:I have lots of male friends who would never think of me that way blah blah blah.
Answer:Your friend doesn't find you attractive, or he's currently doing better, or he's gay or you're wrong.
Criticism:That's not true
Answer:Yes it is.
Criticism:So a woman is a bad person just because she won't sleep with you? Don't you hang out with people you don't want to sleep with? Are women supposed to just every guy who wants to them so they won't be bitches?
Answer:Yes, I hang out with people I don't want to sleep with, but they're all people who don't want to sleep with me either. So there's equity. It's not that I think women are bad people for not wanting to sleep with me. It's moreso that:
I have plenty of friends already
I will never be able to truly be friends with them because my perspective will be colored by my desire to sleep with them
If they are not cool then they are probably just attractive and why would i want to hang out with them if they won't sleep with me? If they are cool then the desire to sleep with them will only intensify the more I hang out with them so I am really only torturing myself emotionally to hang out with them and pretend that that is all I want. Why would I or any guy want to put himself through that?
Criticism:Do you expect to get laid when you have this whole site devoted to how much you hate women?
Answer:First off, this is a forum for my narcissism. As to hatred of women -- if that's what you think then you are clearly projecting your guilt about being a bitch onto me. Not a single woman who wasn't a bitch has ever complained about misogyny at this site. I can prove this on an abacus.
Criticism:In the section on ladder disparity you make reference to the 'hypotenuse.' The ladders however, are metaphorical constructs, and are not a defined distance apart from each other so this term is misleading.
Answer:It seems that way at first, but that's because you have failed to understand the topology of Ladder Space, which should of course should be so obvious that a formal proof is not required. Idiot.
Criticism:You must have been terribly hurt, or had a terrible relationship with your mom or [insert pseudo-Freudian amateur psycho-babble analysis here]
Answer:See my answer to the first criticism. Also, why doesn't anyone ever assume that my mother was so great that I have never yet found a woman to live up to her standard and thus became bitter?
Criticism:You must have too much time on your hands, and you must not be getting laid, to write all this stuff. Lighten up, and [insert one of: grow up, get laid, or get a life.]
Answer:Depends on my mood.
For a good mood: Who says I don't get laid? For all you know I've only had 4 rejections in 25 years. Not bad on the whole. Also, I'm just presenting the world as I see it. I never said I was angry that women all want rich guys. Indeed, it gives me an incentive to save money. To the contrary I don't have enough time. Like Keats, I am afraid my pen, or keyboard as the case may be, will not have time to glean my teeming brain before I shuffle off this mortal coil. Assuming you are correct, though, how would that change the ladder theory?
For a bad mood: Right, some kind of life it must be if you're spending time writing missives about the virtues of women friends to guys who have websites. You obviously got married too soon or are a whipped little bitch who knows he can't pull off what women really want so you spin these little defensive theories about how you should be nice and sweet and kind, and I'm sure it occasionally gets you some very boring women. As for me, I'll be partying with a couple of hookers who are VERY honest about what they want and suck a good dick. Just please raise your mewling little brats not to talk in movie theatres, and not to bother people trying to do something creative with their snivelling. |
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| trancebrat |
| quote: | Originally posted by Massive84
but it was very obvious, males say no, female say yes. i think if you go around the world asking the same question the answer ratio will be probably the same male: no, females: yes
personally, i think its harder for guys to be great buddies with a girl, for females maybe thats an other story..for me i admitt, its hard to imagine for me that i can be best friends with a girl, not that i don't want or can't hang out with them, it's just ..i rather watch a movie with my male friends, play football or basket ball with them, go somewhere sit a bit smoke or talk, going on vacation or clubbing.
edit female company is always welcome of cource :D |
So you're saying my friendship with my best friend is all a facade? |
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| Orbax |
| quote: | Originally posted by trancebrat
What if they tried to date me and I wasn't interested?
I totally disagree. Your basically calling all men shallow. If all of you agree to that then you are all crazy. |
yes... everyone but you is insane :D |
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| trancebrat |
| You win? Hardly. You guys base your life on a ladder "theory". How is that winning? You copy and paste information that someone else wrote and then claim it's facts and then live by it like it's the Bible. I wasn't aware that every person in the entire world was interviewed for this "study". :rolleyes: |
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| Floorfiller |
i think what is really going on in this thread is that women are naive and like to think this isn't true.
example.
my girlfriend knew this guy from her class and he's asking her to go out to lunch and stuff. i'm telling her that its because he wants to go out with you, and she basically tells me she doesn't think so. so i'm like ok whatever, go to lunch with him. what happened? the guy brought her flowers and wanted to date her...geeee really?
that has happened a number of times. i know that my girlfriend isn't the cheating type, but i don't understand her inability to see men for what they are.
women pay attention to this:
1. If you meet a guy independently from your boyfriend and he wants to be your friend, its because he wants to date you.
2. the only possible way to maintain a friend-based relationship with a man is if you met him before your current boyfriend or at an event with your current boyfriend.
i'm sorry if you say otherwise you are being naive... |
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| diego |
| quote: | Originally posted by trancebrat
You win? Hardly. You guys base your life on a ladder "theory". How is that winning? You copy and paste information that someone else wrote and then claim it's facts and then live by it like it's the Bible. I wasn't aware that every person in the entire world was interviewed for this "study". :rolleyes: |
well then to prove us all wrong, why don't you ask the guy to sleep with you?, if he says no, we win, if he says yes , .......... |
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| Orbax |
| TB we merely read the ladder theory and realized that it is the most succinct and concise way of accurately portraying life that we have ever read. Our actions arent based on it, its based on a supreme Kant style universal truth that men understand. Its like Morality. Morality exists independantly of any human action. |
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| trancebrat |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
i think what is really going on in this thread is that women are naive and like to think this isn't true.
example.
my girlfriend knew this guy from her class and he's asking her to go out to lunch and stuff. i'm telling her that its because he wants to go out with you, and she basically tells me she doesn't think so. so i'm like ok whatever, go to lunch with him. what happened? the guy brought her flowers and wanted to date her...geeee really?
that has happened a number of times. i know that my girlfriend isn't the cheating type, but i don't understand her inability to see men for what they are.
women pay attention to this:
1. If you meet a guy independently from your boyfriend and he wants to be your friend, its because he wants to date you.
2. the only possible way to maintain a friend-based relationship with a man is if you met him before your current boyfriend or at an event with your current boyfriend.
i'm sorry if you say otherwise you are being naive... |
You already said that men and women can't be friends so there isn't anything to maintain...right?
Sorry to hear that you guys think most guys are shallow. I would think at least one of you would be at least somewhat amused that I stood up for an obviously small percentage of the male population. It's apparent that some guys are clearly simple minded, but I do honestly think there are guys out there that genuinely enjoy being friends with people without the idea of sex or dating involved. |
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| trancebrat |
| Oh...and I am not naive...I am just more open minded. Once again...my best friend is a guy. Hell yeah I take offense to the that you people have been writing. I don't need a damn theory to tell me about my everyday life. I'm done...continue to bash me. |
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| Orbax |
Think about it this way. When you get in your car you realize that you might get in an accident right? But are you sitting there thinking OH MY GOD I MIGHT GET IN AN ACCIDENT. or are you just prepared for that possibility and then its totally in the back of your mind until something happens.
Thats how men work. You can go on friendship auto pilot and as long as things remain totally normal no thoughts. but you get drunk and slip him some tongue...hell be grabbing your tit and dry humping you so fast your head will spin.
Im sorry if you hate men because of that, but hey. |
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| Tranc3 |
I feel the ladder theory applies to a great majority of women out there, although it's certainly not true for everyone. No one idea can truly enscapulate everyone if it deals with the abstract.
Sure I think guys can be friends with girls and not want anything else, but the vast majority will be thinking about sex. |
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