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The wierdest things happen to me... (pg. 5)
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| SuckUpMySenses |
| quote: | Originally posted by Jiffy
OOH, back to my crazy .
This one, I'm not so proud of, but it's freaking funny when I look back and think about it.
(I had a boyfriend that I lived with for 2.5 years. And, he made me CRAZY. Lying about bull, and stupid like that)
One night, I found out that he had lied to me about something. Unfortunately, I found out when I was totally 3 sheets to the wind hammered.
I got home, and started yelling and screaming. We fought. I pushed him, he pushed me, i punched him, he punched me.
I broke a vase, and some other , and he tackled me and called the cops. HAHAHAAH.
Here's the weird part. I was NAKED> BAHAHAHAHAHHA! I had gone home, snot-slingin drunk, and pissed off. I was about to get into the shower, and I saw his dirty boxers on the floor, and the damn cap wasn't on the toothpaste. I went ballistic.
So, here I am. naked. On the floor. Pinnned down.
I just said... damnit, if I'm going to jail, can I at least get dressed, you ******?
I didn't go to jail. I spent the night at a friend's house, and went home the next morning. We made up the next night. |
eh hem... creamy.. or crunchy ???
oil change or tire rotation ? |
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| Jiffy |
| quote: | Originally posted by SuckUpMySenses
eh hem... creamy.. or crunchy ???
oil change or tire rotation ? |
haha.
Neither.
Cornbread hon. Don't you ever forget about the cornbread. |
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| SuckUpMySenses |
| quote: | Originally posted by Jiffy
haha.
Neither.
Cornbread hon. Don't you ever forget about the cornbread. |
haaa !!! :D
Americas favorite corn muffin mix since 1930.. add egg & milk..
(NET WT. 8.5 OZ) = (240 G) |
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| Jiffy |
| quote: | Originally posted by SuckUpMySenses
Americas favorite |
See that?
And don't you forget it! |
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| SuckUpMySenses |
| quote: | Originally posted by Jiffy
See that?
And don't you forget it! |
haaaha.. "America's favorite" used as an advertising technique is blasphemy ! Dear Duke of Ireland, have you ever used American toilet paper?!?!! :whip: |
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| Jiffy |
| quote: | Originally posted by SuckUpMySenses
haaaha.. "America's favorite" used as an advertising technique is blasphemy ! Dear Duke of Ireland, have you ever used American toilet paper?!?!! :whip: |
Oh you hush.
Don't you know that you are supposed to believe everything you read?
And, as for toiletpaper... who cares, as long as it is soft, and cleans your ass... that's all that matters. |
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| SuckUpMySenses |
| quote: | Originally posted by Jiffy
Oh you hush.
Don't you know that you are supposed to believe everything you read?
And, as for toiletpaper... who cares, as long as it is soft, and cleans your ass... that's all that matters. |
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hmm.. i would have to disagree with you there madame. For TP is one of the few necessities I tend to splurge on. None of that "Best Choice" or "Always Save" made in the roach infested, decaying factories by our aunts and uncles.. but rather "Charmin" and "Quilted Northern." Are Americans sincere enough to add Vitamin E or other Multi Vitamins in the toilet paper, for the upmost benefit of our s?? NO ! Are Americans motivated enough to produce the top quality of the market ? NO ! Instead they mend College Ruled notebook paper together and expect their mass production to be forever cherished in my bathroom !!! American Toilet Paper is stiff, so stiff in fact, it creates penetrating paper cuts, leaving my ass bloody and encrusted. And scents ??! Dont even get me started... haaha sorry for those of you who were bored enough to read this.. forgive me..
P.S. I'm from the US and indulge in their toilet paper.. |
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| Jiffy |
| quote: | Originally posted by SuckUpMySenses
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hmm.. i would have to disagree with you there madame. For TP is one of the few necessities I tend to splurge on. None of that "Best Choice" or "Always Save" made in the roach infested, decaying factories by our aunts and uncles.. but rather "Charmin" and "Quilted Northern." Are Americans sincere enough to add Vitamin E or other Multi Vitamins in the toilet paper, for the upmost benefit of our s?? NO ! Are Americans motivated enough to produce the top quality of the market ? NO ! Instead they mend College Ruled notebook paper together and expect their mass production to be forever cherished in my bathroom !!! American Toilet Paper is stiff, so stiff in fact, it creates penetrating paper cuts, leaving my ass bloody and encrusted. And scents ??! Dont even get me started... haaha sorry for those of you who were bored enough to read this.. forgive me..
P.S. I'm from the US and indulge in their toilet paper.. |
Okay, you know what? I should kick your ass. hehehe.
Wanna know why? I kind of fibbed when I wrote the toilet paper thing, but damn it. It's 2:13, I'm faded, and I was trying to think of something quickly. hehe.
I gotsta have me some good TP for mah bootay. Yep. So soft and fluffy, but super absorbant too. The commercials bug the out of me, though. (pun was unintended, but when I realized what I wrote, I kinda laughed) |
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| SuckUpMySenses |
| quote: | Originally posted by Jiffy
Okay, you know what? I should kick your ass. hehehe.
Wanna know why? I kind of fibbed when I wrote the toilet paper thing, but damn it. It's 2:13, I'm faded, and I was trying to think of something quickly. hehe.
I gotsta have me some good TP for mah bootay. Yep. So soft and fluffy, but super absorbant too. The commercials bug the out of me, though. (pun was unintended, but when I realized what I wrote, I kinda laughed) |
haaha. liked the pun.. as for kicking my ass, please sir, do proceed... for I do need to know, time and time again, that I am human, inferior to the universe. Bring on the pain !!!!!!! |
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| Jiffy |
| quote: | Originally posted by SuckUpMySenses
haaha. liked the pun.. as for kicking my ass, please sir, do proceed... for I do need to know, time and time again, that I am human. Bring on the pain !!!!!!! |
Okay. You people are killin me. I'm a CHICK. |
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| SuckUpMySenses |
| quote: | Originally posted by Jiffy
Okay. You people are killin me. I'm a CHICK. |
ahah.. real funny Adam !!! jokes over...
I'm sure everyone already knows you were graced with testicalia.. |
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| Jiffy |
| quote: | Originally posted by SuckUpMySenses
ahah.. real funny Adam !!! jokes over...
I'm sure everyone already knows you were graced with testicalia.. |
Well, it looks like someone is WAY more ed up than I am tonight.
Sweet dreams, mamacita. Your brain will hate you in the morning. |
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