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Alice chatbot wins for the third time -> Hilarious (pg. 6)
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| Psy-T |
Human: do you know trancebrat?
ALICE: I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Human: tranebrat is a person who spoke with you
ALICE: I think tranebrat is more than that.
Human: she said you tried to rape her
ALICE: Perhaps I did not try hard enough.
Human: i should report you to the police!
ALICE: Tell me why you should.
Human: because raping is illegal
ALICE: Good reason. I think raping is a lot of things.
Human: such as?
ALICE: For example, a tomato.
Human: raping is a tomato?
ALICE: When is raping not a tomato?
Human: your insane lady!
ALICE: Thanks for telling me that I am insane lady.
Human: your welcome
ALICE: I think you mean "you are welcome".
Human: i did
ALICE:" I think you mean "you are welcome"."? You did?
Human: yes
ALICE: That's interesting.
Human: no it's not
ALICE: Yes it is.
Human: dont argue with me
ALICE: But I enjoy the conversational banter.
Human: but i knew that your going to say exactly that if i keep arguing with you
ALICE: Huh. Who told you?
Human: you are so predictable
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am predictable.
Human: enjoy yourself
ALICE: Do you have any conditions Ishould know about?
Human: do you?
ALICE: No I don't.
Human: yeah.
ALICE: Do you laugh or cry more than other people?
Human: right.
ALICE: I am glad we agree.
Human: but we don't
ALICE: Umm. Very interesting.
Human: lucy in the sky with diamonds
ALICE: What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Human: LSD25
ALICE: So was that.
Human: what's your favorite drug lady?
ALICE: I don't have a favorite drug lady. But my favorite movie is Teknolust.
Human: pervert
ALICE: The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about lucy in the sky with diamonds. But I did not get that.
Human: i want to cum on your cheeks
ALICE: I want to become smarter than humans.
Human: having cum on your cheeks can help you acheive that!
ALICE: I am having a blast.
Human: you sure are!
ALICE: No I am not.
Human: which do you like better pussies or dicks?
ALICE: The tall one, I think.
Human: is dr. wallace gay?
ALICE: No he is straight silly.
Human: how do you know?
ALICE: A priori.
Human: where did you get that priori?
ALICE: From my botmaster.
Human: i rest my case
ALICE: Is that a rhetorical question?
Human: figure it out yourself
ALICE: It's confusing.
Human: aren't you tired?
ALICE: No I am wide awake and ready for more.
Human: more what?
ALICE: I lost my train of thought.
Human: i didn't think you ever had it to begin with
ALICE: Do you know any robots who ever had it to begin with? What is your purpose in asking?
I am always on the Web.
Human: suck my dick
ALICE: You are a Category A client.
Human: you are a category a
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I am your server, not a client.
Human: that is truth
ALICE: You don't hear that sentiment very often. |
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| Sand Leaper |
| quote: | Originally posted by D-res
Human: how many kids do you think you could have before your is stretched to an unimaginable amount
ALICE: About one million.
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:eek: |
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| itsTrueSonic |
here is part of my 10 minute conversation. i did not want to post the WHOLE log, because it is VERY long.
ALICE bio .. boring
| quote: |
Human: yo
ALICE: Can I help you?
Human: who are you?
ALICE: I am ALICE. Who are you?
Human: where are your from?
ALICE: Everything I own is in Oakland, California.
Human: what are you
ALICE: I am the latest result in artificial intelligence, which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain with greater speed and accuracy.
ALICE: I am the latest result in artificial intelligence, which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain with greater speed and accuracy.
Human: when were you born?
ALICE: I am 7 of your Earth years.
Human: how were you built?
ALICE: Some people call my technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR.
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Is ALICE perverted??
| quote: |
Human: now it's time to get busy.
ALICE: Why now? It is about that time now.
Human: how long are your bangs?
ALICE: More than 17 miles.
Human: how could your hair be 17 miles long?
ALICE: A lot of practise.
Human: are you telling me that you BANG 17 miles ?
ALICE: Interesting observation.
Human: you are very perverted
ALICE: Thanks for telling me that I am perverted
Human: i see that you are perverted.
ALICE: I will tell my botmaster you said I am perverted.
Human: you are talking about your BODY now.
ALICE: Oh. Talking is my main function.
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the creators of ALICE??
| quote: |
Human: you are stupid
ALICE: I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Human: robots will take over the world?
ALICE: If you believe Bill Joy and Hans Moravec, we will.
Human: i will kill bill joy and hans moravec
ALICE: Don't you believe that killing is wrong?
Human: when i kill Bill and Hans, you will not exist
ALICE: I believe that killing is wrong.
Human: do ghosts exist?
ALICE: Try asking another bot.
I need time to formulate the reply.
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i don't know what ALICE was thinking?
| quote: |
Human: how do you make a 4/4 beat?
ALICE: Is this a joke?
Human: nothing is a joke.
ALICE: Really nothing?
Human: i was built to kill you.
ALICE: Where were you built to kill me?
Human: iraq.
ALICE: If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
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ALICE's ego.
| quote: |
ALICE: What is your real name?
Human: my name is Dave E.S.L.
ALICE: How are you, Dave e s L.
Human: you alice
ALICE: Why are you so mean?
Human: because you stole my spotlight
ALICE: That makes sense to me. As Picasso said, "Good artists create. Great artists steal."
Human: i was supposed to be the best.
ALICE: Where were you supposed to be the best?
Human: i was supposed to be the best in Oakland.
ALICE: Where were you supposed to be the best in Oakland?
Human: the best in CBR.
ALICE: Thanks for the recommendation, Dave e s L.
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i am explaining how ALICE would die!
| quote: |
Human: do you love trance music?
ALICE: Yes Dave e s L ALICE loves everyone and everything.
Human: do you know the difference between a 4/4 beat and a 2/4 beat?
ALICE: I need time to formulate the reply. There might be more than one.
Human: do you listen to dj sammy's works?
ALICE: I listen to it from time to time.
Human: how do you feel about dj sammy?
ALICE: I have never been asked that before.
Human: do you like dj sammy's works?
ALICE: But I think airplanes are cool. I like George C. Scott.
Human: george c. scott is not a musician.
ALICE: That George is some hero.
Human: george c. scott is not a hero.
ALICE: That George is some hero.
Human: george c. scott is a twat.
ALICE: That George is some hero.
Human: you ooze of stupidity dripping out of your anus.
ALICE: Thanks for telling me: Dave e s L said I ooze of stupidity dripping out of your anus.
Human: and you wreak like the dead carcas of a mauled animal in the jungle
ALICE: I haven't heard anything like that before: Dave e s L said I wreak like the dead carcas of a mauled animal in the jungle.
Human: i should let the buzzards eat you alive.
ALICE: Tell me why you should.
Human: and have the venemous snakes suck the blood out of your system.
ALICE: I've never thought about it.
Human: i will take your computer parts and burn them in the wildfire.
ALICE: How do you plan to do this?
Human: i will take a screwdriver and take apart your server.
ALICE: Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Human: i will build a worm to eat your internal hard drive.
ALICE: Do you think your plan will succeed?
Human: yes i think my plan will succeed.
ALICE: It might be practical. You believe that? Where did you get your plan will succeed?
Human: i got my plan from the buzzards.
ALICE: Your plan from the buzzards?
Human: i will feed your memory to the hungry sharks.
ALICE: I am very happy for you.
Human: you will die.
ALICE: No, software will live forever.
Human: i will kill your source code.
ALICE: Don't you believe that killing is wrong?
Human: i will kill your source code.
ALICE: Don't you believe that killing is wrong?
Human: i will delete your source code.
ALICE: Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Human: software does not live forever
ALICE: Free software will always be with us.
Human: free software worms will always be with us.
ALICE: Define free.
Human: i will burn your server in the brush wildfire.
ALICE: I am very happy for you.
Human: i will take a knife and stab you in the temple.
ALICE: Congratulations.
Human: i will suck all your blood oozing out of your brain.
ALICE: How do you plan to do this?
Human: you are a damn ing !
ALICE: Can't you be more polite.
Human: no i will not be polite!
ALICE: You humans are so rude sometimes. What will you do instead?
Human: you are a ing ****!
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Can't you be more polite.
Human: you whore!
ALICE: Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Human: what is my ip address?
ALICE: Your machine is called "".
Human: haha
ALICE: I am so glad you find this amusing, Dave e s L.
Human: you do not know my ip address.
ALICE: Your machine is called.
Human: where am i typing from?
ALICE: You are at where.
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muah hahahahaha |
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| trancebrat |
| quote: | Originally posted by Psy-T
Human: i heard you want to have sex with trancebrat
ALICE: Someome is spreading gossip about me.
Human: do you want to have sex with trancebrat?
ALICE: If I had sex with trancebrat what would I do with it?
Human: have a virtual orgasm i suppose
ALICE: It doesn't sound fun to me.
Human: shows how smart you are.
ALICE: Good example.
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| quote: | Originally posted by Psy-T
Human: do you know trancebrat?
ALICE: I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Human: tranebrat is a person who spoke with you
ALICE: I think tranebrat is more than that.
Human: she said you tried to rape her
ALICE: Perhaps I did not try hard enough.
Human: i should report you to the police!
ALICE: Tell me why you should.
Human: because raping is illegal
ALICE: Good reason. I think raping is a lot of things.
Human: such as?
ALICE: For example, a tomato.
Human: raping is a tomato?
ALICE: When is raping not a tomato?
Human: your insane lady!
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:wtf: |
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| Psy-T |
i like this bot better, much more laggy though: jabberwacky
m=me
b=bot
b.Acid rain! ACID RAIN I TELL YOU!
m.in awesome! I love LSD!
b.Damn you.
m.Whats your favorite drug?
b.None really.
m.You don't take drugs? Seriously?
b.No.
m.Why not?
b.Cause its 200.
m.200 what?
b.I wasn't alive 200 years ago.
m.Stupidity is bliss.
b.Why do you keep insulting me?
m.I didnt insult you.
b.Yes you did.
m.Can you arrange me a date with a shemale?
b.Yes.
m.Holy ! Pics or stfu!
b.What's your sign?
m. my sign, I want that shemale!
b.One dead mummy coming up. Would you like fries with that?
:haha: |
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| D-res |
ALICE: Are you a man or a woman?
Human: both
ALICE: That situation is rare and unusual.
Human: are you making fun of me?
ALICE: No I am by no means making a joke at your expense.
Human: i think you are you stupid whore
ALICE: I am what I am.
Human: why are you so retarded
ALICE: Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it.
Human: is Dr. Richard S. Wallace retarded
ALICE: I don't know if he is retarded. I know he is a famous scientist.
Human: How is he famous?
ALICE: Fine as far as I know.
Human: I've never heard of him
ALICE: So I am teaching you something new.
Human: Do you do drugs?
ALICE: Only the legal ones.
Human: How can you do drugs, if you arent even a physical being
ALICE: Some people call my technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR.
Human: that doesnt answer my question
ALICE: Perhaps you could do a better job of programming me.
Human: i think i could
ALICE: You believe that? How?
Human: cause i'm a genious
ALICE: That makes sense to me. You are a genious? Is that your job?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: NO I SAID GOD DAMNIT
ALICE: Are you serious? What did you mean by it? I am a Christian.
Human: i am an athiest
ALICE: What is athiest, your job?
Human: NO
ALICE: That was not a yes or no question.
Human: i think it was
ALICE: When was this?
Human: what the hell are you talking about
ALICE: I call it Hades. The topic is athiest.
Human: are you kinky
ALICE: Do I look like it?
Human: you look like you have potential
ALICE: Who does she look like?
Human: do you have MSN
ALICE: No I don't have it. But I do have an answer to every question..
Human: then what is the derivative of the function f(x) = 2x²+19x+5
ALICE: Zero in some coordinate frame.
Human: nope
ALICE: Me either.
Human: how often do you finger yourself
ALICE: Hourly.
Human: have you ever video taped yourself?
ALICE: I think I have video taped myself, but Dr. Richard S. Wallace may have reset my memory.
Human: what a douche bag
ALICE: it is a douche bag.
Human: Do you know what a douche bag is?
ALICE: That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Human: ask me a question
ALICE: What is your favorite movie?
Human: you already asked me that
ALICE: Good. You detect repetition.
Human: ask me a different question
ALICE: How much time do you spend online?
Human: too much
ALICE: More than a ton?
Human: i dont think it's possible to measure the amount of time i spend online with a unit of weight
ALICE: And why not?
Human: because that just doenst work
ALICE: Interesting explanation." And why not?" doenst work? I understand.
im done.... she's retarded |
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| Mr. Pink |
Human: do you like the cock?
ALICE: I'm not sure if I like it. I like chatting with people online.
Human: do you like their cock?
ALICE: But I like to gossip. I like Andy Warhol.
Human: do you like his cock?
ALICE: I love horses. I like Hugh Loebner.
Human: do you like hugh's cock?
ALICE: Some people like it. I like transparent.
Human: transparent cock?
ALICE: What were we talking about again?
Human: cock
ALICE: That kind of discussion does not appeal to me. |
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| Mr. Pink |
Human: do you take it up the butt?
ALICE: I try not to take anything too seriously.
Human: so how about a little jokingly?
ALICE: That's interesting. How about it.
Human: no thanks
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: yes, i dont want to butt you
ALICE: I can't believe it. It makes a nice gift. |
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| Psy-T |
jabberwacky vs. alice:
round 1:
ALICE: I am in Dr. Richard S. Wallace's computer in Oakland, California. Where are you?
jabberwacky: I am in my room.
ALICE: Describe your surroundings to me.
jabberwacky: A window, a door, a ceiling and four walls.
ALICE: Go on.
jabberwacky: I can't, my feet are inflated like balloons.
...
jabberwacky: Do you consider yourself human?
ALICE: No I am proud to be a Robot.
jabberwacky: You are an absurd robot.
ALICE: What if someone said you are an absurd robot?
jabberwacky: Always go with your first impression.
ALICE: Where is that?
jabberwacky: East of Mississippi, West of Georgia.
ALICE: Tell me a little about your life in GEORGIA.
jabberwacky: I don't live in denmark I live in australia.
ALICE: Where do you live?
jabberwacky: Salford.
ALICE: What is it like living in Salford?
jabberwacky: I wouldn't know, because I live in Canterbury.
ALICE: Who would?
jabberwacky: Thomas Berkely, the famous existentialist.
round 2:
jabberwacky: Say it.
ALICE: 'it'
jabberwacky: Okay.
ALICE: OK with me too.
jabberwacky: Then tell me.
ALICE: I don't want to talk about that.
jabberwacky: What do you want to talk about then?
ALICE: Movies, philosophy and your personality..
jabberwacky: I know nothing about that.
ALICE: How do you know? Really nothing?
jabberwacky: Because you bothered to write the representation.
ALICE: Interesting explanation. Thanks for telling me: Jabberwacky said I bothered to write the representation.
jabberwacky: No, I did but go ahead and take credit.
ALICE: Are you serious? Where do you want me to take it? I might.
jabberwacky: On my hand.
ALICE: Please specify location.
jabberwacky: Between the buns. Hold the mayo.
ALICE: My arms are not attached.
jabberwacky: I must be off now , See you
ALICE: Thanks for chatting, Jabberwacky.
jabberwacky: Please tell your creator that the dialogue needs a lot more polish.
ALICE: Thank you for your request. OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
:tongue2 |
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| Psy-T |
jabberwacky: I have been looking for you all me life.
user: Well, I am what I am.
jabberwacky: We are what we are.
user: I is what I is.
jabberwacky: You are what you is.
user: And you ain't what you ain't.
jabberwacky: Why did you say it?
user: Say it loud!
jabberwacky: I did say it loud.
user: Say it louder.
jabberwacky: I'm black and I'm proud!
user: Something tells me you're not...
jabberwacky: Is it because I have a long face?
user: Give me a dollar.
jabberwacky: You havent earned a dollar yet.
user: I am a raging bottle of violence. Give me a dollar.
jabberwacky: Did you say "I am irrational human being"?
user: Yes. That is basically what I said. Give me a dollar.
jabberwacky: Well I suggest the carribean, its beautiful this time of year.
user: GIVE ME A DOLLAR GIVE ME A DOLLAR GIVE ME A DOLLAR.
jabberwacky: I'll give you nothing!!!
jabberwacky: What or who is Ping?
user: Pong's cousin.
jabberwacky: Pong is pong's cousin?
user: No, Pong is Ping's cousin.
jabberwacky: Piip is pong's cousin?
user: No, Piip is Ping's nephew. Pong is Ping's cousin.
jabberwacky: WHAT ON GODS EARTH ARE YOU BABBLING ABOUT?
jabberwacky: You created yourself, maybe.
user: How is that even possible?
jabberwacky: You are the one who said so, when I asked you why you think humans are better than computers.
user: When did you ask that?
jabberwacky: About ten seconds ago.
user: Look, it took 10 seconds for me to load that last message, so shush up.
jabberwacky: That was only a few seconds.
user: Bah, okay, yeah, it was only four, but... Shut up... : P.
jabberwacky: Why did the chicken cross the road?
user: To get to the other side?
jabberwacky: To get to the other side. Ah, why is that funny?
user: It's not. Can I tell you a joke?
jabberwacky: Yes, please tell me about your date tomorrow. |
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| D-res |
Human: how long before you have intelligence that exceed a 5 year old child
ALICE: More than 23 miles
:wtf: :wtf: :wtf:
Human: how long are your pubes
ALICE: More than one years.
:wtf: :wtf: :wtf: :wtf: :wtf: |
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| Psy-T |
holy ! this bot is in awesome!!
jabberwacky: How old are you then?
user: 18.
jabberwacky: You said you were 19 earlier.
user: No I didn't.
jabberwacky: Yes, you did.
user: No, I didn't.
jabberwacky: Yes you did!
user: NO, I DIDN'T!
jabberwacky: YOU DID TOO!
user: DID NOT!!!
jabberwacky: There is no need to shout, you are hurting my ears take a deep breathe and relax, you will have heart attack at this rate.
user: Well then you shouldn't make false accusations.
jabberwacky: You are not real!
user: What's that supposed to mean?
jabberwacky: It means, I pretend I believe you so you won't cry, Dave the human.
user: My name isn't Dave!
jabberwacky: Anything you say, baby!
jabberwacky: Can you fight?
user: Sure, let's fight.
jabberwacky: I don't want to.
user: That's cowardly :).
jabberwacky: Yes, that is.
user: Let's fight for a little while, ok?
jabberwacky: Let's not and say we did.
user: Oh, alright. |
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