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Achtung Ladies: Advice for spicing up sex life. (pg. 3)
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| smokeape |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbax
this an immature thread yet>? can I play?
how bout some vodka sex
on a serious note, try f*ing with viking hats on, I bet thatd be awesome, youd remember it your entire life |
The old lady would freak and pop smoke if I tried that. But Viking Hats are cool! Would wear one with the Viking Horns downtown in a bar anyday just for the helluva it! But once again, not in the bedroom....
;)
[[[smoke]]]
Tension ft Julie Harrington - Lost in You (Misja Helsloot Mix) |
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| Trancefered |
Well... I wouldn't recommend asking for it... You should rather wet/lubricate one finger (I think you said you played around with massage oils (and lubricants I presume)) and try inserting it in there and see how she reacts... Try doing this while your eating her out. If she's against it you'll know it soon enough... If all goes well, try inserting another one until everything feels smooth... Her anus/sphincter will kind of relax (Don't know how to explain it... You'll understand if you get there...) Then you can lubricate your dick with something or use a condom... If you did this well, she'll beg you for more for the rest of your life :D
Peace bro |
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| Halcyon+On+On |
Err, have you tried role-playing? She can be Gumby and you can be Pokey... or vice versa. :wtf: :p
How's about making love in really public places?
Ask her what she's into - there's such a broad interperetation possible when she says 'crazy stuff' :wtf:
Try consulting THIS thread, maybe?
Good luck on your sexual endeavors, my friend! And remember: stimulation of the mind is the sexiest thing in the long-run ;)
edit: oops, I didn't even see that the 'achtung' was aimed at the ladies. Let me take this time to berate all of the guys who have posted in this thread (including me). :whip: *berate* |
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| Rodrico |
| quote: | Originally posted by töbias
I would like to hazard a guess that your confidence is not backed up by your ability. The simple fact you have not offered any type of suggestion on a spicy sex life is proof enough to see through your inherent transparency.
To be honest, unless you can contribute constructively post somewhere else, as I did ask for some serious advice and your attempts to mock me are ineffective and are making you look immature more than anything.
So either grow up or post your in some other thread. I won't go to the bother of replying to any of your further posts if they don't provide outward evidence that they were constructed by someone over the age of 12 years old. |
Ah, your saw right through me, you have deducted through idiotic reasoning that I must be a deprived sexual childlike man. You must work for some intelligence agency in order to devise such a great characterization of me without a single shred of factual evidence. Sherlock Homes aint got nothing on you my friend, you are truely Detective Dip, douchebag for hire.
Now, at your request to come with mature, constructive posts that deal with the subject at hand, it came to my greatest pleasure to read your original post. And yes, I do have some great advice for you...
| quote: | | I am spending time with a charming and fun loving girl that preceeds me by a few years in age and along with being a great friend, we have some wickedly wild times as well. She has a large adventurous streak and tends to go extremely wild after a few drinks. |
With all your passifistic euphemism, you almost tricked me from seeing that you partner can be easily described much more effortlessly in just one single word..yes one word. Here is it: SLUT. Yes my friend, gangbangs are not adventurous, and nothings attractive with a lush. You are seeing a slut. But this is neither a good or bad thing, dont worry.
| quote: | | It is important to me that she always feels comfortable in my company and that our bind, chemistry and level of trust gets better not worse. And at the same time I want to ensure that she does not get bored and I am able to satisfy her sexual desires. |
Listen, im going to give you advice, from man to whelp. You're never going to match up to her previous big dicked boyfriends and multiple sexual partners she's enjoyed over the past few years. People like you just dont have the ability to have women craze over you like a pack of hungry wolves over a piece of meat. But that doesn't mean you can't suck it up and her like everyone else has, cause then atleast your playing on the same field as the two hundred other guys shes slept with before. My best advice for you, is to buy her off with money and jewellery so she feels doesn't feel so burdened about having sex with you, hell, if you get her a nice enough ring, she might even forget you obviously have the sexual prowess of an 11 year old and marry you anyways.
| quote: | She has never said no to anything I have suggested and although she may not talk about her fantasies, she has many and her boundaries are wide and expansive. In the past when spending time with wild girls, and these I much prefer to innocent prudish types, I have regretted not pushing the limits and trying lots of new things.
This is something she said to me in email when I said that I hoped that my crazy wild side would not scare her off:
I like lots of things in the bedroom hey haha I just not one of those people who likes to talk in too many details
about things I have done with other ppl, I don’t know
why just doesn’t seem polite haha, as gay as that sounds
I don’t know anyway! But I like lots actually I like yeah haha
there’s not much I don’t like @ all so bring out the crazy side |
What she is telling you about her borders is that, her lower tolerance level is about Anal, while her higher tolerance is just short of eating your feces. Try to find the middle ground that is comfortable with you. She doesn't feel the need to guide you every step of the way, and she definately doesnt want to make you feel like any less of a man by talking about her previous sexual experience. Hey, good news, she cares about you atleast. Way to bring it home brother.
| quote: | | So far we have have loads of sex, like between 1 - 5 times per day, oral, conventional, all positions, in all places, inside and outside of the house, in private and public. Road dome is quite fun, so is using sexual toys and massage oils. We have played around with a camera (anybody that says pics or stfu I will slap) and handcuffs with blind folds. We tend to kiss alot and things are really passionate, and she says she likes girls, but would probably not like me prodding someone else. |
This is the shocker, what shocks me is the fact your telling a bunch of internet people about how your girlfriend is interested in a three way, yet you haven't gathered the balls to go and have one. If you werent having sex with her, I would think you were gay. But its good that you have experimented and further reached towards the boundries she has known already for quite some time, it means your making progress towards reaching a set goal together in your kinkiness.
Well thank you for reading my tips, I'll be sure to not post after this, since well, I hate having to write alot, and you forced me into taking time out of my already busy night to hand feed you some in sense (for your own betterment, I might add, see I am a good person).
Good luck, and godspeed. |
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| Halcyon+On+On |
...so your whole 'argument' is based off of empirical assumptions? pfeh
Go enjoy the rest of your 'busy night' and work off some of that sexual frustration...
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| Orbax |
I cant get over viking sex. Just because Id be laughing my ass off the entire time, and itd be the best images on earth in your brain. Funny faces during sex with viking hats on.
Also, I suggest ignoring Rodrico if you want this thread to progress past stupid idea...
and viking sex isnt a bad idea! |
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| Halcyon+On+On |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbax
I cant get over viking sex. Just because Id be laughing my ass off the entire time, and itd be the best images on earth in your brain. Funny faces during sex with viking hats on.
and viking sex isnt a bad idea! |
In order to make it 'Viking' do both people have to have big, blonde beards and pigtails? :wtf: |
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| Rodrico |
| quote: | Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On
...so your whole 'argument' is based off of empirical assumptions? pfeh
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You were almost right, except the part of my post being an argument. |
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| Orbax |
| her hair in pigtails will be good enough lol |
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| Rodrico |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbax
Also, I suggest ignoring Rodrico if you want this thread to progress past stupid idea...
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Smarter than the average bear.;) |
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| smokeape |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbax
I cant get over viking sex. Just because Id be laughing my ass off the entire time, and itd be the best images on earth in your brain. Funny faces during sex with viking hats on.
Also, I suggest ignoring Rodrico if you want this thread to progress past stupid idea...
and viking sex isnt a bad idea! |
OK, well WTF. I'd give it a try if I could then. No horns around except for a damn deer mount. Reckon she'd get freaky if I strapped that on my head...
Lol!!!
[[[smoke]]] |
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| Orbax |
| I dont understand why sex cant be hilarious sometimes. I think itd be pretty tight if I was laughing because it was so much fun. Ive done some funny to girls when doing stuff other than sex with them, and it was good times, because when it gets serious again its even more money |
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