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Achtung Ladies: Advice for spicing up sex life. (pg. 7)
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| Dirk W. |
| Oh, and Tobias, I have been to München.... I had a damn blast. I still have some oversized beer mug from there. |
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| töbias |
| quote: | Originally posted by Dmatrox
i thought u were gay. |
Another excellent intellectually stimulating display of creativity from .. ...
What was your name again? |
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| töbias |
| quote: | Originally posted by Dirk W.
Oh, and Tobias, I have been to München.... I had a damn blast. I still have some oversized beer mug from there. |
Apologies in not replying to your post a little sooner, I was busy taking out the TA trash.
It is a beautiful city, and you can't not have a visit without enjoying the best beer in the world.
Do find even regular beer tastes better in a German stein? |
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| Dirk W. |
| quote: | Originally posted by töbias
Apologies in not replying to your post a little sooner, I was busy taking out the TA trash.
It is a beautiful city, and you can't not have a visit without enjoying the best beer in the world.
Do find even regular beer tastes better in a German stein? |
I'm not trying to hijack the thread, but yea, beer does seem better out of those.... :)
And the girls there are gorgeous. I never did hook up with one though -- I had a girlfriend at the time, not like it mattered, but also my game wasn't on (family vacation, I was in the wrong mindset). I can only imagine that the girl you are seeing is a hottie given the girls I saw there. Have fun buddy :) |
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| LoCa |
| quote: | Originally posted by töbias
Anal sex is a tender subject.
How does one approach it?
Should you just pop it in and hope for the best, a suprise attack, or ask nicely?
Thanks |
Not unless you want your balls cut off :wtf: |
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| töbias |
| quote: | Originally posted by Dirk W.
I'm not trying to hijack the thread, but yea, beer does seem better out of those.... :)
And the girls there are gorgeous. I never did hook up with one though -- I had a girlfriend at the time, not like it mattered, but also my game wasn't on (family vacation, I was in the wrong mindset). I can only imagine that the girl you are seeing is a hottie given the girls I saw there. Have fun buddy :) |
It is really hard to pick up when on family vacations. I went on one where I shared a room with my sister, and this ruined my chances of bringing girls back. Plus the fact that your image can take a battering when young confident attractive girls find out you are with your family...although I did have some fun with a Norwegian and Russian girl although car sex does hurt the neck, although when on a snowboarding vacation excuses are easy to construct.
I did actually post a piccy of my girl in the thread with such a title....
And German girls are often quite under-rated. |
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| töbias |
| quote: | Originally posted by LoCa
Not unless you want your balls cut off :wtf: |
One lesson that you never need learn yourself about anal sex is to never ever, and I mean never, allow the girl to sneeze whilst engaged in bum sex.
Sneezing seems to force the bum hole to completely close shut no matter what happens to be blocking the pathway at the time. I would hazard a guess that even high grade steel would be broken by the sheer force of the sneezing squeeze, so imagine what it does to your dick. Mine dick nearly broke in half once, its like a guillotine.
So before propositioning for anal sex I now make the applicant complete an exam listing allergies and choose venues low on dust, pollen and fumes when going through with the act. |
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| Rodrico |
What made me laugh was how Tobias has the nerve to call me repetitive...Lets look back shall we.
| quote: | | My sincerest apologies for wasting your time then Rodrico, I can only wish that there are people in this world and forum with the mental strength and courageousness, not to mention maturity, to reply to my post in an constructive fashion, and not try and be humourous through stupidity. |
Premise - I am immature.
| quote: | If asking for advice somehow makes me not a real man, than I can accept that, although Rodrico thinking I'm a is not exactly going to erode my self esteem.
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Premise - Not hurt by my insults.
| quote: | I would like to hazard a guess that your confidence is not backed up by your ability. The simple fact you have not offered any type of suggestion on a spicy sex life is proof enough to see through your inherent transparency.
To be honest, unless you can contribute constructively post somewhere else, as I did ask for some serious advice and your attempts to mock me are ineffective and are making you look immature more than anything.
So either grow up or post your in some other thread. I won't go to the bother of replying to any of your further posts if they don't provide outward evidence that they were constructed by someone over the age of 12 years old. |
Premise - I cant get laid, I am immature, and my insults are weak and cant offend him.
| quote: | Not a bad effort Rodrico, perhaps next we can ask you how to kill kittens whilst trying, in vain, to appear like a nice guy.
You do extremely well in having a really closed mind and attempt to insult me from all levels, and the girl I like, but thats fine in trying to get your message accross, I am rarely offended. But some of your advice is actually quite helpful.
Perhaps I am being too nice, you are right.
My female friend differs from other wild girls I have been with because she is quite a classy girl from a rather rich family and although she gets really wild when she drinks alot, its not like other girls that I would call sluts and are easy to treat with no respect and get into crazy positions. |
Premise - insults cant offend him, my advice is helpful and I am the king, girlfriend is a rich, lush, slut (sorry had to add that in).
Now lets revise the last quote...
| quote: | Originally posted by töbias
Good point, although the best thing with your posts in that they each look like a cut and paste from all your other posts with nil creativity, low interesting factor and always made in a try hard attempt to be insulting, which by the way you are not really good at, so whether your posts are the first or last its easy to just scroll straight past them.**
**small print: I can see the irony of stating that I don't read this twat's posts in an actual reply to one which shows I did in fact read it, but since I don't have any small rodents in a cage to prod with a sharp stick, chatting with Rodrico is the next best thing. |
Premise - Weak insults, scroll by my posts to avoid the verbal rape my post do on his pathetic existance.
Now, this guy has the nerve to tell me that I am unoriginal, I mean, if we honestly look at all my posts, the one thing I am is creative. Lets take a quick look at all my posts in one shot.
| quote: | Originally posted by Rodrico
Your right, I stopped reading after this.
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No, please take my apologies for not being able to give you advice on being a real man who knows how to pleasure his woman. You obviously must be a bore in bed to go out of your way to ask the internet on how to spice up your sex life.
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Good idea, ask the virgin for sex tips...
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Ah, your saw right through me, you have deducted through idiotic reasoning that I must be a deprived sexual childlike man. You must work for some intelligence agency in order to devise such a great characterization of me without a single shred of factual evidence. Sherlock Homes aint got nothing on you my friend, you are truely Detective Dip, douchebag for hire....(wont bother with the rest of this...)
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You know when two guys openly talk about vibrators and get excited, its time to log off TranceAddict for awhile...
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Clever, but how are you going to scroll past the last post. DUH!
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Now if you read all my posts, how could I cut and paste every response if most of my posts are creative and original. You see my friend, you suffer from whats known as creative deficiency withdrawl. What it means is your obviously jealous of the fact that I am smarter, funnier and kick it to boot...more creative than you. Your only power in insulting people comes with carefully changing words around and reciting the same inane babble and hope for the rest of the peon masses to clap and agree with you. Im glad you and all your bum chums can sit around in your big gay orgy circle and stroke each other's penises while softly rubbing your vibrators on each others asses.
and please, stop trying to stroke your own ego by being macho all of a sudden, this is coming from the guy whos slut girlfriend says threesomes are okay, and asks the internet forum if its a good idea? |
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| Xenocreator_PG_ |
| quote: | Originally posted by töbias
One lesson that you never need learn yourself about anal sex is to never ever, and I mean never, allow the girl to sneeze whilst engaged in bum sex.
Sneezing seems to force the bum hole to completely close shut no matter what happens to be blocking the pathway at the time. I would hazard a guess that even high grade steel would be broken by the sheer force of the sneezing squeeze, so imagine what it does to your dick. Mine dick nearly broke in half once, its like a guillotine.
So before propositioning for anal sex I now make the applicant complete an exam listing allergies and choose venues low on dust, pollen and fumes when going through with the act. |
hmm interesting.
I might try that to my girlfriend as an experiment. Ill grab a peice of Dia 20 rod from work & take it home tonight. I'll put it up her pooper & then tickle her nose with a feather. I'll post results tomorrow...... |
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| töbias |
| quote: | Originally posted by Rodrico
What made me laugh was how Tobias has the nerve to call me repetitive...Lets look back shall we.
Premise - I am immature.
Premise - Not hurt by my insults.
Premise - I cant get laid, I am immature, and my insults are weak and cant offend him.
Premise - insults cant offend him, my advice is helpful and I am the king, girlfriend is a rich, lush, slut (sorry had to add that in).
Premise - Weak insults, scroll by my posts to avoid the verbal rape my post do on his pathetic existance.
Now, this guy has the nerve to tell me that I am unoriginal, I mean, if we honestly look at all my posts, the one thing I am is creative. Lets take a quick look at all my posts in one shot.
Now if you read all my posts, how could I cut and paste every response if most of my posts are creative and original. You see my friend, you suffer from whats known as creative deficiency withdrawl. What it means is your obviously jealous of the fact that I am smarter, funnier and kick it to boot...more creative than you. Your only power in insulting people comes with carefully changing words around and reciting the same inane babble and hope for the rest of the peon masses to clap and agree with you. Im glad you and all your bum chums can sit around in your big gay orgy circle and stroke each other's penises while softly rubbing your vibrators on each others asses.
and please, stop trying to stroke your own ego by being macho all of a sudden, this is coming from the guy whos slut girlfriend says threesomes are okay, and asks the internet forum if its a good idea? |
If that isn't the message board equivalent of a 5 year old girl stamping her feet on the ground in a tantrum in a supermarket after Mum didn't buy her a lolly, then I don't know what is.
Dummy spit of the month.
So you are smarter, funnier and more creative than me? Whats next in your forum superiority challenge, a quiz on who's Dad is more successful? Lets try and keep the level of this discussion above a primary school tiff please and bragging on the internet with no ability to prove or disprove such claims stinks of childish competitiveness.
I'm yet to see a post from you that demonstrates any creative ability whatsoever. I hope the examples you listed above weren't your best displays of such mindblowingly wonderful creativity, but if so I'd hold back on giving out lessons on creativity just for just a while.
The best part of your postings seems to come from the fact that you think that using large words somehow makes you smart and knowledgable. Haha.
When in a boxing ring there are laws against low blows which are usually done by struggling fighters that are having trouble competing in a fair fashion and are losing the battle. I'm afraid that such low acts as to call my girlfriend a slut and call me a homosexual, whilst not offending me in the slightest, only go to show that you are unable to engage in an intelligent debate where intellect rules over cheap shots. I'm sorry but this could go a fair way to disprove your claims of stardom made in your last post. |
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| töbias |
| quote: | Originally posted by Xenocreator_PG_
hmm interesting.
I might try that to my girlfriend as an experiment. Ill grab a peice of Dia 20 rod from work & take it home tonight. I'll put it up her pooper & then tickle her nose with a feather. I'll post results tomorrow...... |
As I said earlier, a lesson best learnt from someone else...
Although if you must try it make sure to lube the steel rod. |
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| Xenocreator_PG_ |
| quote: | Originally posted by töbias
As I said earlier, a lesson best learnt from someone else...
Although if you must try it make sure to lube the steel rod. |
there aint gonna be no tampering with the experiment. The steel is going in el-natural. We don't want the steel shooting out at 100 miles an hour on the event of a sneeze: Safety hazard ;) |
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