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Achtung Ladies: Advice for spicing up sex life. (pg. 4)
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| töbias |
| quote: | Originally posted by Rodrico
Ah, your saw right through me, you have deducted through idiotic reasoning that I must be a deprived sexual childlike man. You must work for some intelligence agency in order to devise such a great characterization of me without a single shred of factual evidence. Sherlock Homes aint got nothing on you my friend, you are truely Detective Dip, douchebag for hire.
Now, at your request to come with mature, constructive posts that deal with the subject at hand, it came to my greatest pleasure to read your original post. And yes, I do have some great advice for you...
With all your passifistic euphemism, you almost tricked me from seeing that you partner can be easily described much more effortlessly in just one single word..yes one word. Here is it: SLUT. Yes my friend, gangbangs are not adventurous, and nothings attractive with a lush. You are seeing a slut. But this is neither a good or bad thing, dont worry.
Listen, im going to give you advice, from man to whelp. You're never going to match up to her previous big dicked boyfriends and multiple sexual partners she's enjoyed over the past few years. People like you just dont have the ability to have women craze over you like a pack of hungry wolves over a piece of meat. But that doesn't mean you can't suck it up and her like everyone else has, cause then atleast your playing on the same field as the two hundred other guys shes slept with before. My best advice for you, is to buy her off with money and jewellery so she feels doesn't feel so burdened about having sex with you, hell, if you get her a nice enough ring, she might even forget you obviously have the sexual prowess of an 11 year old and marry you anyways.
What she is telling you about her borders is that, her lower tolerance level is about Anal, while her higher tolerance is just short of eating your feces. Try to find the middle ground that is comfortable with you. She doesn't feel the need to guide you every step of the way, and she definately doesnt want to make you feel like any less of a man by talking about her previous sexual experience. Hey, good news, she cares about you atleast. Way to bring it home brother.
This is the shocker, what shocks me is the fact your telling a bunch of internet people about how your girlfriend is interested in a three way, yet you haven't gathered the balls to go and have one. If you werent having sex with her, I would think you were gay. But its good that you have experimented and further reached towards the boundries she has known already for quite some time, it means your making progress towards reaching a set goal together in your kinkiness.
Well thank you for reading my tips, I'll be sure to not post after this, since well, I hate having to write alot, and you forced me into taking time out of my already busy night to hand feed you some in sense (for your own betterment, I might add, see I am a good person).
Good luck, and godspeed. |
Not a bad effort Rodrico, perhaps next we can ask you how to kill kittens whilst trying, in vain, to appear like a nice guy.
You do extremely well in having a really closed mind and attempt to insult me from all levels, and the girl I like, but thats fine in trying to get your message accross, I am rarely offended. But some of your advice is actually quite helpful.
Perhaps I am being too nice, you are right.
My female friend differs from other wild girls I have been with because she is quite a classy girl from a rather rich family and although she gets really wild when she drinks alot, its not like other girls that I would call sluts and are easy to treat with no respect and get into crazy positions.
But perhaps I should not be afriad and really push the boundaries much much more than I have so far.
Thanks. |
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| töbias |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbax
I cant get over viking sex. Just because Id be laughing my ass off the entire time, and itd be the best images on earth in your brain. Funny faces during sex with viking hats on.
Also, I suggest ignoring Rodrico if you want this thread to progress past stupid idea...
and viking sex isnt a bad idea! |
Viking sex hey?
Well I was thinking maybe getting her a nurses uniform or similar, but a viking suit could do the trick.
Shw may get a little suprised when I come into her bedroom late at night with a big hat and sword though....
And Halcyon+On+On, its okay mate, Rodrico appears a little inexperienced due to his lack of personal information on the subject supplied so far, but I don't take offence at such insults as everyone is entitled to their opinion. I tend to more dislike people that insult without actually offering an opinion, this is easy to do. |
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| smokeape |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbax
I dont understand why sex cant be hilarious sometimes. I think itd be pretty tight if I was laughing because it was so much fun. Ive done some funny to girls when doing stuff other than sex with them, and it was good times, because when it gets serious again its even more money |
Sorry, ain't gonna risk losing the old lady by strapping a deer mount on my head. Will just get sh*tfaced drunk and go fishing like normal instead.... She understands that.
:p
[[[smoke]]]] |
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| Halcyon+On+On |
:haha:
Ottomans designed specifically for sex? I likee :tongue2 :toothless |
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| Silky Johnson |
| You need to have a coked-up hate . Yeah that's right, rip into some Farleywood beefers and then the out of each other like you're each other's worst enemy. Pull her hair while you're doing her from behind then whisper sensually into her ear "Yeah you like that don't you, you little slut?" She won't be offended by the slut comment if you say it right...she'll be all like, "Uh huh", and then slap her ass a little. |
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| töbias |
| quote: | Originally posted by jennypie
You need to have a coked-up hate . Yeah that's right, rip into some Farleywood beefers and then the out of each other like you're each other's worst enemy. Pull her hair while you're doing her from behind then whisper sensually into her ear "Yeah you like that don't you, you little slut?" She won't be offended by the slut comment if you say it right...she'll be all like, "Uh huh", and then slap her ass a little. |
Alright, so get a bit angry.
Nice idea. I have a little internal anger that can be used when the occasion calls for it so I might just let a little out and get a little nasty.
Thanks. |
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| Halcyon+On+On |
| quote: | Originally posted by jennypie
You need to have a coked-up hate . Yeah that's right, rip into some Farleywood beefers and then the out of each other like you're each other's worst enemy. Pull her hair while you're doing her from behind then whisper sensually into her ear "Yeah you like that don't you, you little slut?" She won't be offended by the slut comment if you say it right...she'll be all like, "Uh huh", and then slap her ass a little. |
:stongue:
Were those comments in quotation marks for a specific resaon? ;) |
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| Slylee |
| start doing it in public places. |
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| Silky Johnson |
| Someone suggested braids. That's also a good idea. I like to braid my hair and play 'Swedish tourist'. Playing dumb puts one in the submissive position, and there's something so hot about a power struggle in bed. |
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