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The double-lifer thread
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| Slylee |
i cannot escape this concept or label. i am a total double lifer and it's only going to get worse as i get older. i need to be with someone who keeps me grounded, but i am always going to be tempted by that other life...meaning, drugs & partying.
i will never trust another double lifer, so that's why i can't be with someone who parties (or CAN party) just as hard as i do. there's always drama in a relationship where drugs are present...for the most part...i'm sure there are a few exceptions.
this female attorney who works with my firm discovered that her pro golfer husband was completely leading a double life. he would go on trips for golf, but really he was doing mountains of cocaine with strippers and escorts and would come home all chipper with smiles..she had no clue until she got a confirming phone call from an escort service the day he left for a "golf trip" to NYC. i couldn't help but sort of laugh on the inside as i heard this story. she was that typical country club snobby wife with the little spoiled kid in private school with the "perfect" husband.:stongue:
i sorta felt bad for the husband for getting caught:wtf:
the sex and cheating part though...no excuse. but i dunno, i can see myself having my little weekend getaways with friends who share in my other life going to vegas and getting completely ripped and partying my ass off only to return to my husband and tell him i had a great time shopping and spending my days at the spa...:stongue:
i need it. i won't do it often, but i think once a year, i'm going to need that.
who else is a double lifer besides the obvious moral hazard;) |
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| kid nyce |
drama thread in the making!
lets be serious...
isn't being truthful or honest much less easier?
i mean you can double-lifer when it comes to working life, but in terms of significant others, how significant can it be if you are doing those "other" things? i mean wouldn't it be ideal to have someone who shares the same wild sides and at the same time must remain professional on the day-to-day? there are plenty out there, a week with your playmate in ibiza/amsterdam and then return back to the office and put the game face on. that's where a double lifer should exist. |
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| Moral Hazard |
| Zoinks.... I've been outted :nervous: :nervous: |
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| LeopoldStotch |
oh look .. it's the daily slylee long, tedious, yet adventurous and thought provoking however ever so elegant yet direct thread of the day ...
:rolleyes: :o ...
everyone lives a double life ..
i live a double life ..
some people think i am this unadventurous non-outgoing guy who likes to stay at home, and everything ...
for example, some people ask me ... so what are you doing this weekend ? .. i usually tell them .. " well .. i am probably going to stay home, and work on some stuff", but really i am out and about rocking the night away ...
then comes monday, they ask me .. " so .. what did you do over the weekend" .. i tell them ... " oh the usual. nothing too grand " .. maybe it's just my brain telling me to keep people outside my life .. i don't know ..
doesn't sound as adventurous as the "pro golfer" (as they say), but living the double life is awesome .. i like to hide things. .. ;) .. there are things even my family don't know about me .. |
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| Moral Hazard |
| quote: | Originally posted by kid nyce
drama thread in the making!
lets be serious...
isn't being truthful or honest much less easier?
i mean you can double-lifer when it comes to working life, but in terms of significant others, how significant can it be if you are doing those "other" things? i mean wouldn't it be ideal to have someone who shares the same wild sides and at the same time must remain professional on the day-to-day? there are plenty out there, a week with your playmate in ibiza/amsterdam and then return back to the office and put the game face on. that's where a double lifer should exist. |
I disagree.... if you fall in love with someone who does not enjoy the same lifestyle as you then it would not be wise to bring them into it. Additionally, if would not be wise to completely deny yourself what you crave. Depriving yourself will inevitably lead to either resentment of your partner or a complete breakdown of willpower resulting in a bender that would be far more damaging then partying in small doses. You need to allow yourself outlets in small controled bursts afterwhich everything goes back to normal. |
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| mizzuno |
| quote: | Originally posted by kid nyce
drama thread in the making!
lets be serious...
isn't being truthful or honest much less easier?
i mean you can double-lifer when it comes to working life, but in terms of significant others, how significant can it be if you are doing those "other" things? i mean wouldn't it be ideal to have someone who shares the same wild sides and at the same time must remain professional on the day-to-day? there are plenty out there, a week with your playmate in ibiza/amsterdam and then return back to the office and put the game face on. that's where a double lifer should exist. |
Kid Nyce being true and honest to yourself and others is defintely harder, it requires a load of perserverence and fortitude...
Mizz |
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| Azz3D |
| quote: | Originally posted by mizzuno
Kid Nyce being true and honest to yourself and others is defintely harder, it requires a load of perserverence and fortitude...
Mizz |
If you can't be true to someone why be with them in the first place?
lying is for the weak |
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| Moral Hazard |
| quote: | Originally posted by mizzuno
Kid Nyce being true and honest to yourself and others is defintely harder, it requires a load of perserverence and fortitude...
Mizz |
There are times where honesty is not the best policy. Thinking otherwise only serves to show that you are ignorant to a) human nature and b) the considerations that govern reasonable and prudent society. Sometimes being dishonest is the most honourable thing one can do, only sheep like obedience to an outdated and ill-conceived moral code could prevent one from recognizing that. |
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| dinoXpress |
| This thread will most likely be me one day :p |
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| Slylee |
| well for me, I don’t really trust myself with another double lifer. Meaning, I don’t trust that I will accomplish goals I have set for myself. I need someone to keep me in line, motivate me…you know, be NORMAL! And I don’t really have the need to dip into that other life of mine on a regular basis…it’s only going to be like a once or twice a year craving, so it’s not worth it to be with another double lifer and have it be more habitual. I already lived with another double lifer. It was fun while it lasted, but that’s not what I want in the long run. I am basically saying that I just don’t know if I’ll ever be able to be an angel for good. |
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| kid nyce |
| quote: | Originally posted by mizzuno
Kid Nyce being true and honest to yourself and others is defintely harder, it requires a load of perserverence and fortitude...
Mizz |
But I mean isn't it easier to be truthful when it comes to your lifestyle? I mean i'd want someone to match me perfectly in all aspects without any major sacrifices by either parties. There isn't a necessity for preserverence and fortitude when you both share the same interest. I mean, maybe I misinterpretted the original post, but i wouldn't want to venture on escapades to have fun behind a significant others back when i could rightfully be doing the same thing without hiding it and doing it WITH HER.
If the intention is to lead a double-lifer strictly/solely behind your significant others back then there is a lack of common interest in the relationship. You are together with that person for the wrong reasons. I've had my fair share of incompatibility and each and every relationship i've fallen out of has netted me a greater understanding of what i want in myself, in my significant other, and of course the life we both lead together.
I think anything outside of leading a life together (whether priorities/interest change over time) can be concluded as dishonesty, betrayal of trust, and of course not as significant as we made it seem. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship/marriage where such a double life exist.
A double life should exist in a professional/casual sense. "This rule is the most under-rated, keep your family and business completely separated" business is business, you know me for the money i make and the business i bring, you want to sit with me and talk about my weekends in amsterdam, then i can't do business with you. you want to be my friend? then i can't make a business agreement with you. There is my double-lifer! |
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| Floorfiller |
| well i guess i'll never trust a woman again...thanks slylee! |
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