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So your recently turned 15 sister... (pg. 3)
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| Ian |
| quote: | Originally posted by Grrrrr
Yeah that's pretty much how it is..
If someone else posted this i'd probably give advice similar to yours however it's just not that easy. Mum confiscated her phone yesterday as a punishment and she went absolutely ballistic. She started grabbing everything in her room and throwing it out of the window, stormed down stairs threw all the dinner table chairs on the floor, opened the cupboard doors in the kitchen and threw everything on the floor. I had to physically restrain her for the best part of 2hours till she calmed down..
She simply wont listen to what anyone has to say and insists this guy that she has known less than a fortnight is the love of her life. Apparently we "don't understand". It's even more worrying because she is soooooo naive, she thinks she's all grown up like most 1year old girls but the reality is she's not the sharpest tool in the box and is very easily lead...
She is the complete opposite to me and my brother and i've no idea why |
She's at that age mate, you've got to learn to give & take, esp with girls, they're hitting at 15 what guys do at 16-18 it's just that we're legal enough when we get around to it. Punishments aren't the way, even if you don't like this guy, encourage her to bring him home, get to know him (esp the parents) set her deals "if you do as ur told today u get an extra 2 hrs out with him next week" but use a zero tolerance as far as things like sex,drugs,booze go. If you find out she is sleeping with him, dont make her feel bad, make sure she gets contraception, and uses it to stop the risk of infections of what he may or may not have. Treat her as grown up and she'll have to act it (or closer to it) |
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| Pariah Cleric |
I say kick his ass, no offense to your sister or women in general, but at that age girls tend to be... prone to suggestion. They're pretty naive. Layeth the smack down.
As far as I'm concerned, any guy 18 and older dating anyone 15 and younger is a loser anyways. Why the do you think they can't get a girl their own age? |
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| Floorfiller |
perhaps the reason we have this idea of women maturing faster is simply the product of this social situation. you are very rarely going to see the reverse, a 18 year old girl dating a younger guy.
sure physically women do mature faster, but i think it might be fair to argue that if men do in fact mature slower emotionally as well, then perhaps its simply because women are given the opportunity through dating those at a more mature level whereas men are not.
i mean if men were dating 20 year olds in high school, then they would be subjected to a more mature way of life a lot sooner. instead, when they actually do reach their twenties, they seemingly have continued to date that younger population of women, hence they have maintained that younger mindset for a longer duration, only to deal with the frustration of women their own age waiting for them to play catch up once again. women in turn continue to date older men.
so who's fault is it that men seemingly have a maturity curve lower than women when they are encouraged by society to make that leap at different speeds? |
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| lücid |
| quote: | Originally posted by Grrrrr
Yeah that's pretty much how it is..
If someone else posted this i'd probably give advice similar to yours however it's just not that easy. Mum confiscated her phone yesterday as a punishment and she went absolutely ballistic. She started grabbing everything in her room and throwing it out of the window, stormed down stairs threw all the dinner table chairs on the floor, opened the cupboard doors in the kitchen and threw everything on the floor. I had to physically restrain her for the best part of 2hours till she calmed down..
She simply wont listen to what anyone has to say and insists this guy that she has known less than a fortnight is the love of her life. Apparently we "don't understand". It's even more worrying because she is soooooo naive, she thinks she's all grown up like most 1year old girls but the reality is she's not the sharpest tool in the box and is very easily lead...
She is the complete opposite to me and my brother and i've no idea why |
she's a typical teenage girl... her hormones are running wild, she's in love, and she thinks she knows what's best for her. she's not a kid anymore and she's trying to fit in to the adult world. the more you or your parents try to control her actions, the more she will want to rebel. you can't convince her that she's making the wrong choices, you just have to be there for her and help her understand how life works. you have to hope she doesn't make any huge mistakes, just that she will learn from this experience whether it ends good or bad... |
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| igottaknow |
| quote: | Originally posted by Grrrrr
...has just started dating an 18+ year old (not exactly sure of his exact age one of her friends thought he was 20). Do you kick him to a pulp or just put his man bits out of action?
My sister was 14 this time last week, this guy is some sick
:mad: |
is your sistar a cheerleader and is the guy in question named craig? if so he's older than 18. :eek:
seriously its not cool. I'm not sure what you should do to deter her. Girls this age are always trying to get an older guy for some reason. Let your parents handle it. |
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| Ian |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
perhaps the reason we have this idea of women maturing faster is simply the product of this social situation. you are very rarely going to see the reverse, a 18 year old girl dating a younger guy.
sure physically women do mature faster, but i think it might be fair to argue that if men do in fact mature slower emotionally as well, then perhaps its simply because women are given the opportunity through dating those at a more mature level whereas men are not.
i mean if men were dating 20 year olds in high school, then they would be subjected to a more mature way of life a lot sooner. instead, when they actually do reach their twenties, they seemingly have continued to date that younger population of women, hence they have maintained that younger mindset for a longer duration, only to deal with the frustration of women their own age waiting for them to play catch up once again. women in turn continue to date older men.
so who's fault is it that men seemingly have a maturity curve lower than women when they are encouraged by society to make that leap at different speeds? |
it's just nature mate. It's inevitible so making sure the best approaches are taken will at least mean that the girl cannot complain about being treated like a kid, even if she is one |
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| Ian |
| quote: | Originally posted by lücid
she's a typical teenage girl... her hormones are running wild, she's in love, and she thinks she knows what's best for her. she's not a kid anymore and she's trying to fit in to the adult world. the more you or your parents try to control her actions, the more she will want to rebel. you can't convince her that she's making the wrong choices, you just have to be there for her and help her understand how life works. you have to hope she doesn't make any huge mistakes, just that she will learn from this experience whether it ends good or bad... |
exactly :) By treating her as an adult, and making her go through all the responsibilities they have to go through is the best way to go about it. Only take major action if somethings really wrong, and of course, by UK law if you think he's forcing onto her, he can be done for rape, maybe just remind him of that, and that you're keeping an eye on him at most. |
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| Floorfiller |
| quote: | Originally posted by Ian
it's just nature mate. It's inevitible so making sure the best approaches are taken will at least mean that the girl cannot complain about being treated like a kid, even if she is one |
i'm just saying when you do get older you see two things happen....
1. women complain even in their 20's about the immaturity of men.
well? they been dating girls younger than them their whole life...how are they supposed to be as mature? they haven't been exposed to a more mature way of life because they are stuck in this cycle of high school bull whereas women easily break out of that.
2. women complain that men always want younger women.
well? it's your own fault because now we established that socially that's what is acceptable. when you were younger you couldn't wait to date that older guy and you thought you were so cool for doing so, but now you want the reverse. you can't have it both ways. |
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| Ian |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
i'm just saying when you do get older you see two things happen....
1. women complain even in their 20's about the immaturity of men.
well? they been dating girls younger than them their whole life...how are they supposed to be as mature? they haven't been exposed to a more mature way of life because they are stuck in this cycle of high school bull.
2. women complain that men always want younger women.
well? it's your own fault because now we established that socially that's what is acceptable. when you were younger you couldn't wait to date that older guy and you thought you were so cool for doing so, but now you want the reverse. you can't have it both ways. |
yeah, that's pretty much true. I mean there's always exceptions to the rule, but generally it happens like that. sods law I guess. |
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| Dervish |
I dunno I always prefer older women (not old though). They tend to talk less pish.
And if it was my sister, I'd stay out of it. Cos nothing you do is going to make any difference. Unless you too are really close. |
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| Floorfiller |
at what point do you girls consider men to have a similar maturity level to women and don't say never like a dumb head :p
because seriously...i wanna talk about this hehe. |
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| lücid |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
at what point do you girls consider men to have a similar maturity level to women and don't say never like a dumb head :p |
whoa... i want to reply to this but i have to leave work...
Jason this conversation will continue! :p |
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