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So your recently turned 15 sister... (pg. 6)
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| Pariah Cleric |
| quote: | Originally posted by Lepanto
You know I'm a true believer of that whole let a person make their own mistakes and whatnot. However, seeing as how i've a friend who had a child when she was 15 turning 16 it made me realize (this was a few years ago but it actually hit me a few weeks ago in my human sexuality class) that it IS your responsibility to protect and guide your younger siblings and even freinds. Because people aren't born with this sort of thought process or knowledge. So, if you have a 15 year old sister who's going out with a 20 year old, just like many sluts (not calling anyone mentioned a slut especially the thread starter's sister) do, then it is your duty as a brother, and a member of a moral and civilized society to make sure no harm comes out of it.
and unfortunatly for your reasoning in these cases most of the time NOTHING GOOD COMES OUT OF IT! |
Dood, dun even sat that, it's errelvunt. :rolleyes: |
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| Lepanto |
| quote: | Originally posted by Pariah Cleric
Dood, dun even sat that, it's errelvunt. :rolleyes: |
0h jea m4n i 4get :p |
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| Arbiter |
| quote: | Originally posted by Pariah Cleric
How is it irrelevant, Captain Cynic? I believe we were talking about protecting his little sister from some douchnozzle. |
Presuming to govern a family member's relationships based on arbitrary age boundaries does not constitute watching out for them or protecting them.
In an entirely different scenario, such as one where you had a sound, rational basis to believe that this individual somehow posed a threat to your family member, then intervention might be justified, depending upon a more detailed analysis of the particular circumstances.
In the case presented, there is no sound basis upon which to establish the presence of a threat - a prerequisite to an act of protection. Hence, any action to intervene fails to meet the most basic criterion for qualifying as an act of protection. |
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| Floorfiller |
props to anyone that actually reads this hahaha :p
| quote: | Originally posted by stevieboy32808
I understand the arguments posed, but you failed to come to a solid conclusion. |
well i'm glad you called me on that because i realized after posting it that i had more to say haha...i didn't want to edit my post though because i knew it'd take a while to type out my additional comments and figured they'd go overlooked...
to try and sum up what i'm saying...
society would lead us to believe that women mature quicker and at an earlier age then men both physically and emotionally. while i don't think we can dispute the scientific evidence of physical development, i don't think that has any bearing on mental and emotional development.
my argument then is basically that women have a false sense of maturity that is used to justify social behavior.
the idea of women being more mature has translated into social norms like women dating older men. when it comes to dating, women have an advantage over men because they are typically sought after and approached. this gives them bargaining leverage in any potential relationship and is a main contributing factor to a choice of partner. given the choice between a larger number of potential relationships, women should tend to choose the ones that look to offer them the most, whether it be on physical terms or in our case emotional maturity. because we tend to generalize older persons as being more mature, given the chocie of two equally attractive people, it would seem women should choose the the older individual.
the problem that any person faces is entering into a relationship that goes beyond their own level of maturity. however, that risk is increased for females as they typically date above their age. i don't think we can define it here, but at some point along a maturity spectrum there will be a point at which levels differ so much between individuals that it makes a relationship undesirable. now as we've discussed, the individual is probably the biggest determining factor, however, i'd argue that at major lifestyle age gaps, i.e. highschool vs college, college vs career, experience alone can almost be enough to make certain relationships undesirable.
as a highschool student, a college student or someone with an established career you have a different set of life experiences and priorities then people at other levels. while perhaps you can relate to levels you yourself have experienced, the farther removed you are from those levels, the less commonalities you have with them. this is what starts to trouble me when i hear about girls dating men 5-10 years older then them.
for example:
you are a 18 year old senior in high school dating a 23 year old who just graduated from a four year university. what exactly is there in common between the two of you? you are at completely different stages in life.
what a situation like this encourages, in one party or both, is a lack of seriousness. of course there is nothing wrong with dating casually, but here is the reality. a 23 year old guy is not going to consider a high school student seriously and is most likely in it for a physical relationship. if you want more than that, well you are putting yourself in a vulnerable position as a woman. all that brings you together is physical attraction, you have an incredibly weak connection.
i think this is something applicable to everyone. a relationship in which people have different concepts of its purpose or a general sense of indifference towards your partner, other than physical attraction, is going to be more likely to have people cheating, lying, etc.
getting back to the topic at hand, women in my opinion over estimate their level of maturity too often and put themselves in relationships where they get hurt. it has become desirable and almost fashionable to date older men for women because they believe it reflects on them as mature, but i think it actually reflects upon them in the opposite way. as i mentioned above, there are certain age gaps that will cause a change in the desirability of relationships and to enter into a relationship with an older man especially without being aware of those is naive and stupid.
bleh...i'm tired of typing...i could keep going on about how i think all of this increases a maturity gap between men and women, but i hope i made that point somewhat clear before. not like anyone is gonna read this anyway hehe :p. |
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| Floorfiller |
| quote: | Originally posted by lücid
anyone who judges someone based SOLELY on their age is obviously not going after relationships for the right reasons...
so say you're 20 years old and you meet a girl who is 24. if you're at her maturity level and you 2 start talking, she'll see what kind of guy you are and judge for herself whether she thinks you're mature enough... age is really just a number. if a girl was interested in you, she would get to know you before she starts caring about how old you are. |
yes, but the point is that women start out judgemental of age in men. the idea that a man is younger is an immediate red flag. sure he may actually be a great guy and things will work out, but the majority of women don't seem to be as willing to take a chance on a younger man.
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the only problem i see with those specific ages is that some people might be weirded out if they can get into bars and their bf/gf can't... |
true and i picked those ages on purpose. but for instances the same situation arised for a TA a couple weeks ago...he was 21...the girl he liked and approached was 24. she even expressed sexual attraction towards him, but ultimately "if only he was a little older". if anything that expresses to me a lack of immaturity on the females part, and while i can't say all women would react similarly...i think a lot would. so where is that higher maturity level?
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for real... i think maturity level is subjective. i've dated guys who were a year younger than me, all the way up to guys who were 11 years older than me... and i've noticed that their age had nothing to do with how mature they were. i think it really varies too greatly from person to person to say that at 'X' years old, men are equally mature to women. |
i agree that maturity is subjective. but honestly, as i hinted at in my other post... what could you possibly have in common with a man 11 years older than you? other than physical attraction and maybe a couple common interests...my guess is nothing. a man that much older than you is in know way taking you seriously in a relationship. if someone that much older than you seemed immature aswell, it's not because they are immature its because all he wanted from you is sex...
| quote: | | i think it also depends on social situations too. people who have similar lifestyles might have similar maturity levels, despite being different ages. |
i agree and like i mentioned in my other post...at certain ages, i think people are going to have different enough lifestyles that dating would be stupid within those age brackets as it promotes exactly what i said about you dating a man 11 years older...different priorities...
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i lol'd @ "lil' miss new boobs" :stongue: |
that was my quote from friends hahaha. (when rachel is having her baby and janice is there telling her about being a single mom) :stongue: |
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| eye_03 |
FF is MACHINE!!
..cant believe i read all those:thepirate |
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| dinoXpress |
| quote: | Originally posted by lücid
anyone who judges someone based SOLELY on their age is obviously not going after relationships for the right reasons... so say you're 20 years old and you meet a girl who is 24. if you're at her maturity level and you 2 start talking, she'll see what kind of guy you are and judge for herself whether she thinks you're mature enough... age is really just a number. if a girl was interested in you, she would get to know you before she starts caring about how old you are.
the only problem i see with those specific ages is that some people might be weirded out if they can get into bars and their bf/gf can't...
i'm gonna be a dumb head and say... NEVER! :p
for real... i think maturity level is subjective. i've dated guys who were a year younger than me, all the way up to guys who were 11 years older than me... and i've noticed that their age had nothing to do with how mature they were. i think it really varies too greatly from person to person to say that at 'X' years old, men are equally mature to women.
i think it also depends on social situations too. people who have similar lifestyles might have similar maturity levels, despite being different ages.
i lol'd @ "lil' miss new boobs" :stongue: |
I totally agree with this. ive dated girls 2 years younger than me and some over 3 or 4 years older. if you click you click, it's all good! a couple of them both mentioned that it was their first time with a younger guy tho, yet it soon became irrelevant. |
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| Theresa |
It was 3 days before my 15th birthday, *so I was ACTUALLY 14* when my (EX NOW) boyfriend of 3 years asked me to be his girlfriend. He was 19 years old, at the time, so a little over 4 years older than myself.
Anyway, I had some of the best times of my life with him, and he was my first love. I will never regret being with him, however, if an overly protective brother (I have two older brothers,) got involved with my affairs, I would be more than a little pissed off.
A 15 year old girl has every right to make most decisions for herself.
I would suggest talking to her and explaining your concern, and briefly mentioning to the boyfriend that hey, you're not out to get him, but if you find out he has dishonest intentions, he will regret it. Otherwise, keep your nose out of her business.
Seriously, getting involved in this can possibly damage the relationship between your sister and yourself. She will resent you for wrecking her "good time". Don't go there. |
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| chojin |
this has happened a couple of times with people i know. when they've been my mates they've always got a good grilling, as 16 is fine really because its legal, anything below.....well you've gotta take a good amount of piss taking for that.
i dont agree with it, but as long as the parents dont mind and that, and they dont take it to the next level theres not that much wrong with it really. it depends what the guys like etc. |
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| lücid |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
society would lead us to believe that women mature quicker and at an earlier age then men both physically and emotionally. while i don't think we can dispute the scientific evidence of physical development, i don't think that has any bearing on mental and emotional development. |
most girls hit puberty between the ages of 9 - 13, whereas most boys hit puberty between the ages of 10 - 16. i think puberty is physical and emotional... your body is changing and maturing physically and you have to adjust to these changes emotionally as well... you start thinking about sex & dating, becoming more aware of the opposite sex. since girls mature faster than boys then i can see why they'd mostly go after older boys who are already a bit experienced about sex and dating.
| quote: | | when it comes to dating, women have an advantage over men because they are typically sought after and approached. this gives them bargaining leverage in any potential relationship and is a main contributing factor to a choice of partner. given the choice between a larger number of potential relationships, women should tend to choose the ones that look to offer them the most, whether it be on physical terms or in our case emotional maturity. because we tend to generalize older persons as being more mature, given the chocie of two equally attractive people, it would seem women should choose the the older individual. |
exactly. why would a 15 year old girl date an inexperienced 15 year old boy when she can date an experienced 18 year old boy who probably has a car, sexual experience, and more freedom in general... she's going after the guy who will provide her the most excitement. it sucks for younger guys that girls go after older men a lot of the time but i can think of so many reasons why it happens.
| quote: | | bleh...i'm tired of typing...i could keep going on about how i think all of this increases a maturity gap between men and women, but i hope i made that point somewhat clear before. not like anyone is gonna read this anyway hehe :p. |
heh... i find conversations like this really intriguing, actually. i agree with mostly everything you said from a general perspective... but there's always those cases that are the exception to the rule, where people who are 5 years apart may have EVERYTHING in common and be the most compatible couple you've ever seen, despite their age difference.
ok, i'm having problems typing out coherent thoughts... it's still too early. hopefully what i wrote makes some sense... |
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| DJ RJT |
| quote: | Originally posted by lücid
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You're only dating me because I'm older than you... ;) |
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| Slylee |
i was with a guy who was a year younger than me and he was more mature than my ex who is 6 years older than me.
my ex had sophistication though just because of his style and taste, but mentally he was about 17. |
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