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What do you do if you have no goals in life? (pg. 11)
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| Fledz |
| quote: | Originally posted by enydo
I like Hal and Domesticated's advice. You can do it JiveBo, we believe! |
Don't forget Swamper either. Listening to trance is great advice :p |
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| Fledz |
| quote: | Originally posted by noikeee
I've been trying to do that for god knows how long. It works... but only momentarily. Have a nice day telling yourself it's a nice day, wake up the next day, have a bit of stress and it's back to square one again.
I mean, I'm sorry but you guys sometimes are just retarded. It's like... someone's depressed and you reply "why don't you get happy then?". You think we don't ing try that?
Onto another point someone came up with: radical changes. They're great, I have witnessed it, but there's a limit to how radical a realistic change can be. Some people might be able to throw your life away and suddenly try to do something completely different. But not all. |
Don't be ridiculous. No one ever said you should permanently lie to yourself as in getting up and saying "Oh gee the weather is great, that makes me happy!" when in fact it's pouring down with rain outside and close to 0 degrees.
The point I made is that even momentary positive reactions like smiling at someone can stimulate somebody else to smile back, then this can lead to any number of things.
For example, if you're walking through a cafe at uni past a group of people you sort of know but aren't quite going to define them as "friends" and you walk past without looking or smiling at them, what are you going to achieve?
If on the other hand you look at them and smile, or nod, or possible even say "hey guys" as you walk past, you open up the possibility of them replying back to you. Before you know, you could walk past later in the day and they'll get you to sit down with them for a bit to chat.
What is the end result? You're now sitting with people and having a good time for at least a little while because of a minor change in attitude that you made in the past. It's THAT easy.
People need to understand that most things in life take time. While the example that I used above can be considered rather flaky and often not happen, there is still a possibility that it can. I know from experience because I've done it countless times and in the long run it made me happier.
Everyone will always be stressed, but it's learning how to deal with it that's important. You absolutely must learn how to bounce back in your own way. If you get stressed out and you just let it get to you, well then you'll never be happy in the long term now will you? |
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| noikeee |
| quote: | Originally posted by Fledz
The point I made is that even momentary positive reactions like smiling at someone can stimulate somebody else to smile back, then this can lead to any number of things.
For example, if you're walking through a cafe at uni past a group of people you sort of know but aren't quite going to define them as "friends" and you walk past without looking or smiling at them, what are you going to achieve?
If on the other hand you look at them and smile, or nod, or possible even say "hey guys" as you walk past, you open up the possibility of them replying back to you. Before you know, you could walk past later in the day and they'll get you to sit down with them for a bit to chat.
What is the end result? You're now sitting with people and having a good time for at least a little while because of a minor change in attitude that you made in the past. It's THAT easy. |
What if doing that kind of thing, reaching out socially to people at random, just isn't part of your personality and feels extremely unnatural?
| quote: | People need to understand that most things in life take time. While the example that I used above can be considered rather flaky and often not happen, there is still a possibility that it can. I know from experience because I've done it countless times and in the long run it made me happier.
Everyone will always be stressed, but it's learning how to deal with it that's important. You absolutely must learn how to bounce back in your own way. If you get stressed out and you just let it get to you, well then you'll never be happy in the long term now will you? |
Fair enough, that is not bad advice. But finding out "your own way to deal with it" isn't as easy as you make it sound. Specially if looking back at an entire life when you never found your own way to deal with it... |
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| Fledz |
| quote: | Originally posted by noikeee
What if doing that kind of thing, reaching out socially to people at random, just isn't part of your personality and feels extremely unnatural?
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This is where it starts to get tough because we are all individuals and we all work in our own way. However, it's important to note that when you look at people who are happy, most if not all of them have many things in common so it's only natural to try and emulate that.
Some people are more open, some are more closed and shy but there's no reason why someone can't gradually become more social over time.
For example, I was a lot more shy and less talkative with random people in my late teens. Then I started bartending in uni and decided that I would force myself in certain situations to be a bit more uncomfortable in my own skin in the short term because I knew that it was good for me in the long term.
Fast forward 5 years later and you can stick me in a room full of random people and I'll have no trouble chatting with them and having fun, possibly even developing long term relationships. Admiteddly a large part of my social interaction skills comes from the fact that I've lived in 3 different countries so had to get used to change, but it does show that it's possible. This is why the advice to JBJ and other similar people of travelling is a good idea because it forces you to adapt to social and environmental changes that can have a drastic impact on your outlook on life in the long run.
| quote: | Originally posted by noikeee
Fair enough, that is not bad advice. But finding out "your own way to deal with it" isn't as easy as you make it sound. Specially if looking back at an entire life when you never found your own way to deal with it... |
Definitely not but in my view it's the best because when you figure things out yourself, they are much more likely to stick.
Easier said than done, but it is possible. Sometimes you just need to stop and think "Ok, what do I really want to achieve? How am I going to do it? Will these actions make me uncomfortable in the short run but will it in the long run be beneficial for me?"
People often won't make any lifestyle and social changes because they are afraid of the short term ramifications like embarrassment as a clear example, even though they are 99% certain that if they can break through that initial wall their life will end up being better. Dating is a perfect example. Most people are afraid of that first approach and that more often than not results in them never even approaching the other person, yet it can be as simple as "hi" which breaks the wall and then you go from there.
I recently decided to live my life through a very simple phrase:
"If you don't try, you've already failed". |
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| MrJiveBoJingles |
| I don't really see what good travel will do me, other than draining me of some cash. I don't even have anyone to travel with, as my gf will soon have a summer job she can't get away from. So I'm supposed to just hop over to Europe by myself or something, clueless American tourist? Sounds like barrels of fun...right. |
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| Paradox Lost |
| quote: | Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles
So I'm supposed to just hop over to Europe by myself or something, clueless American tourist? |
I'm sure you could easily blend in with the rest of them. |
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| Fledz |
| quote: | Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles
I don't really see what good travel will do me, other than draining me of some cash. I don't even have anyone to travel with, as my gf will soon have a summer job she can't get away from. So I'm supposed to just hop over to Europe by myself or something, clueless American tourist? Sounds like barrels of fun...right. |
Cash is worthless if you don't spend it. |
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| MrJiveBoJingles |
| Considering I have no income at this time, and probably no very significant source of income on the horizon, it seems like I had better hold on to cash now rather than spend it, as much as I can. |
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| Halcyon+On+On |
| Can you take a road trip? Anywhere out of Texas is way more ok than Texas. |
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| MrJiveBoJingles |
See you folks later.  |
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| Sushipunk |
| quote: | Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles
See you folks later. |
Best of luck with your endeavors, Brian :) |
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| Halcyon+On+On |
| I hope that you find what you are looking for. |
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