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Pursuing your dreams/goals and achieving them. (pg. 2)
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| Spacey Orange |
I think ms pie us right for the most part but is missing one critical component: social skills. All the hard work and intelligence is insufficient for a lot of careers. The ability to schmooze, kiss a little ass, tell the right joke, handle rejection, etc. These are very important, and some might say, even more important.
Anyone ever come across someone in a particular job and feel that they are totaly wrong for that position. I do and I bet their socially adept. |
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| Halcyon+On+On |
| quote: | Originally posted by Miss Pie
blames everyone else for her problems |
This annoys me to no end. It's so much more than merely lacking responsibility, and it's a super consistent trait among largely undesirable people.
Great things can really happen when you put effort into honing your abilities and talents, but that's generally inert advice when administered to the unambitious or youthful. Having expectations of yourself is all well and good, but it still fails to be adequately dynamic for a lot of people, and failing to live up to these seemingly arbitrary goals can really cause people to crumble. Everyone is in a constant state of change if they're doing things right, and so should their expectations of themselves and others develop along the way.
With regards to your prideful friend, Miss Pie: Perhaps this "failure" on her behalf is just what she needed. Something impelled you to start nursing school in the first place, didn't it? Was it years of working retail? Would you do things differently back then if you could? |
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| Moral Hazard |
| One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was "always remember; you deserve nothing." Keeping this in mind pushes me to earn everything I have/get/want. |
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| Chimney |
You raise a very good question and actually something I've thought about a lot too. It depends very much depends on what the person wants to achieve. Different people want different things in life and have different means of obtaining them.
I also believe it has to do a lot with outside stimulation. At least for me. I was grown in an environment where a life prospect without any academic education was unthinkable. Even from my early age I was pushed to read and develop as a person. It also has with a certain degree of identification, asking oneself from an early age "what do I want from life" and stick to it, plan as to which is the best method of achieving it.
It starts with the will, something not many teenagers have nowadays. At least not in my environment, most people have no clue as to what they want to do not being passionate about anything, jumping around between university courses that don't interest them.
And of course, work. Some are blessed with brains, but most of us aren't. I study an average of 3-4 hours daily and it's barely enough compared to others in my class. So:
1) Planning
2) Not losing track of the planning
3) Working hard and efficiently |
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| ziptnf |
| quote: | Originally posted by Spacey Orange
I think ms pie us right for the most part but is missing one critical component: social skills. |
She said "charisma" which implies social skills. |
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| Yohan |
| Luck has to do with a lot as well. Which is unfortunate pending on what your goals are. Some goals you can do with hard work and motivation, but some goals you just have to be a little to succeed in. |
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| Lira |
| quote: | Originally posted by Miss Pie
What is it, do you think, that separates those that get what they want from those that don't? Is it simply hard work and focus? Attitude? Charisma? A combination of all three? If all three, what do you think is the most important factor. |
It depends pretty much on what you mean by "those that get what they want from those that don't". Judging by your original post, you seem to think it's all up to the person - when the external factors are just as important:- The Billy Elliot Syndrome: Suppose you, a female, want to be a great musician - in 1813. You spend 10 hours a day rehearsing the most challenging pieces you know, you don't take no for an answer, and you're liked by everyone. Yet, no one takes your music seriously because you're a woman. No orchestra will hire you. History is full of talented people who are now forgotten exactly for this reason.
- The Middle of Nowhere Factor: Suppose you, a female, want to be a great musician - in 2013. Yay! Previous generations finally demolished most of the male chauvinism that hindered the progress of women before you. However, you were born in Nunavut. The haphazard manner you play your instrument is probably due to the fact that you never really had a teacher, and you learnt everything on your own. Your progress is erratic, but nothing is going to hold you down, right? Well, except for the crab mentality of the other musicians you may run into, much less brave than you are, who keep ruining your efforts. That's why you hardly ever hear about the incredible theoretical work of African scientists - there are loads of bright minds in Africa, but they just don't happen to know the right people.
Don't get me wrong, I'm a great fan of taking responsibility for your actions and not finding excuses for mediocrity. However, there's no such thing as a lone hero who achieves his or her goals without the help of the people around him or her. And, sadly enough, it's not always possible to count on the people around you. I mean, just a quick personal example: I've had teachers shun me for wanting to publish work in international journals and study abroad - why!? Because most of the time their command of the English language was not par for the course... and they're not willing to let anyone do what they haven't achieved. |
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| Silky Johnson |
| quote: | Originally posted by Spacey Orange
I think ms pie us right for the most part but is missing one critical component: social skills. All the hard work and intelligence is insufficient for a lot of careers. The ability to schmooze, kiss a little ass, tell the right joke, handle rejection, etc. These are very important, and some might say, even more important.
Anyone ever come across someone in a particular job and feel that they are totaly wrong for that position. I do and I bet their socially adept. |
File it under charisma, imo. :p
| quote: | Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On
Something impelled you to start nursing school in the first place, didn't it? Was it years of working retail? Would you do things differently back then if you could? |
Me? Lol, no it wasn't years of working retail. It was years of watching my mother get sicker and sicker, in and out of the hospital, and realizing I wanted to do the same for others what they in the health care system had done for my mother. Plus I really felt I'd been blessed in life, and in some way felt it was my duty to help those who didn't have what I had (health, social support, education, good financial status, etc.)..I had it good, so instead of focusing on myself - focus on others and all that. Sounds gay as hell, but it's true.
So no, I absolutely wouldn't have done anything differently. If I hadn't jerked around so much in high school and graduated on time (my mother got super sick around the time I was doing a victory lap in hs), I would have pursued a career in art and I truly do not think I would feel the same sense of purpose as I do now, and certainly wouldn't find it as rewarding.
But you're missing the point of what I'm saying altogether. My friend's problems have nothing to do with pride and everything to do with her being completely oblivious to the fact that if you want to happen in your life, you have to get your ing head on straight, have a plan and focus on it, and be accountable for your "failures". |
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| Silky Johnson |
| quote: | Originally posted by Yohan
Luck has to do with a lot as well. Which is unfortunate pending on what your goals are. Some goals you can do with hard work and motivation, but some goals you just have to be a little to succeed in. |
I think luck is a crock of . |
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| srussell0018 |
| I didn't know that about your mom Jenny. That's really admirable what you're doing, and I'm sure you're probably making the same difference to some other little girls with sick moms or dads out there. |
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| Halcyon+On+On |
| quote: | Originally posted by Miss Pie
But you're missing the point of what I'm saying altogether. My friend's problems have nothing to do with pride and everything to do with her being completely oblivious to the fact that if you want to happen in your life, you have to get your ing head on straight, have a plan and focus on it, and be accountable for your "failures". |
Right, all of the little vagaries everyone can agree to, but many are too proud to admit a shortage of, to themselves. If you really believe active responsibility is congruent to achievement, then I think it's unavoidable that you must not excuse any supposed obliviousness as a passive trait, but rather the impediment of egocentricity as the root cause.
My point with the questions was that everyone squanders their time, though not everyone suffers for it unilaterally. I don't care what your reasons were, merely that you had developed them from some stimulus that most everyone is susceptible to. 'Those that get what they want' is a rather devoid way of putting it, I feel, and to go along with what others have said, "deserving" is also quite a bull term. For better or for worse.
People get what they get is an equally useless adage. |
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| Yohan |
| quote: | Originally posted by Miss Pie
I think luck is a crock of . |
as someone who should be dead right now, I think you're wrong |
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