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Life lessons: The struggle, or lack thereof (pg. 2)
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| ziptnf |
| quote: | Originally posted by Silky Johnson
Sure, but ehhh it's just a mortgage. There ARE plenty of other situations that contribute significantly to building character. And you have to remember that everyone experiences the world and their place in it in a way that is unique to them, so it really isn't up to you to say what the right or best way to build character is. |
Yeah, looking at the situation with her mother passing, that was probably far more of a character builder than not having a mortgage. She has absolutely gone through hell and back, from one year of having a perfectly healthy mother to 1-2 years of watching her shrivel away into a 40 lb skeleton right in front of their eyes builds character that I don't have and don't want. It's an absurdly bad situation that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
Her husband on the other hand, he hasn't gone through :stongue: |
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| Silky Johnson |
| Yeah man, losing a parent is hard enough (especially if you have to watch them deteriorate). I can't imagine trying to cope with the loss while also trying to give time and attention to all of life's other stressors. |
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| SYSTEM-J |
| quote: | Originally posted by ziptnf
I guess it isn't so much of a "life lesson" as it is a hardship that most adults go through that builds a stronger character. Your point is that perhaps they will attain that character without having a mortgage, and that may be true. Still doesn't make me any less salty :p |
I'm not saying they will automatically gain a stronger character. They might well end up very soft. My point is more that it's not really your problem or your business, provided it isn't spilling negatively into how they interact with you. And also (not that it really needs saying) that there are a lot of people who'll never get close to owning their own home, and by comparison to them your life has probably been very easy. |
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| Lews |
Well, he has had to support his partner during one of the most difficult-of-all times. That can be extremely difficult by itself.
I'm slightly biased when it comes to the original question, but, really, it's just money. There are still plenty of struggles to be had in life without worrying about it. And in some ways it is its own burden. |
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| Silky Johnson |
| So yeah, I wonder what Nou would say? :o :stongue: |
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| ziptnf |
| quote: | Originally posted by SYSTEM-J
My point is more that it's not really your problem or your business, provided it isn't spilling negatively into how they interact with you. |
Man, that, this is TA, I'll talk about whoever I want. :o |
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| SYSTEM-J |
| This thread would already be billowing out like a mushroom cloud towards the 100 post mark by now if Nou was still posting. |
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| Silky Johnson |
| It's quite nice to have a discussion without the attention/focus shifting totally onto him. |
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| planetaryplayer |
| i have a dream that one day ill be able to derail every thread posted in cor |
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| Lira |
| quote: | Originally posted by ziptnf
On one hand it's understandable that after losing his wife, this man would help direct his wealth to his children, but on the other hand I can't help feel like he went overboard. |
Are they Latin? Either from Europe (Italian or Portuguese) or from Latin America?
This sounds perfectly normal to me. My parents have helped me in similar ways (they let me stay in a flat of theirs, and I don't have to pay rent, just the other bills) and now that I have a stable job, I pay my younger brother's rent in return (so he doesn't have to worry about it).
| quote: | Originally posted by ziptnf
What are your thoughts? Are they missing important life lessons on budgeting and the struggle of facing the real world without the safety net of her father? |
Nah. Like I said, my parents have helped me (and my wife) a lot, but we've just saved enough money to buy our first car as we didn't expect them to pay for us.
If anything, they made us realise how lucky we were to have their help in the first place, and we got extra stingy trying to make the best out of the situation :) |
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| Silky Johnson |
| quote: | Originally posted by planetaryplayer
i have a dream that one day ill be able to derail every thread posted in cor |
lol |
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| pkcRAISTLIN |
my parents are moderately successful. not by crazy rich standards or anything, but they made (mostly) sensible financial decisions and live a very comfortable (almost) retirement, which includes giving their children more cash gifts than i think is really necessary. since i graduated (2001) i've probably received about $50K from them, which did things like help me buy houses and cars, pay off credit card debt and buy shares.
my dad's philosophy is that it makes no sense to give your children everything after you're dead, when that money would have had a more significant impact on their lives when they were in their 20s or 30s.
that said, much of that $50K has been donated to the pkc cheese fund because of poor financial decisions made by one of my siblings, and the parents felt it only fair to give equal amounts to all. i feel these handouts have prevented said sibling from understanding the true value of money or learning to make better decisions in future. every now and then i find a few hundred in my account because, as above, my parents try and keep everything equal.
| quote: | Originally posted by ziptnf
My wife and I would be ing LIT if we didn't have to fork over a mortgage payment every month. Just seems like they took the easy road, and got a beautiful, new, 2 story home handed to them on a silver platter without any struggle or hard work to show for it. |
i'm assuming "LIT" is a good thing, so isn't it a bit weird to condemn them for something you would be all too happy to receive yourself? |
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