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Who should pay for the date? *UPDATED* (pg. 19)
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| Allegory |
| quote: | Originally posted by starsearcher
So if a guy offers to pay then it means he wants to sleep with you in a future date...
But if a girl offers to pay...then it's a whole different story???
:haha: :stongue: :stongue: :haha: |
I don't think one should presume anything. Some people are just friendly; doesn't mean they want to jump your bones, or anything. It could just mean they enjoyed your company and want to treat you. Why do people have to try and find the alterior meaning to everything! Enjoy the moment, be merry.
;) :D |
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| girllovingtvibe |
| I think a girl should offer - but I am a little old fashioned. I like it when a guy pays for first date. After that is free game and left up for discussion.... |
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| starsearcher |
| quote: | Originally posted by Allegory
I don't think one should presume anything. Some people are just friendly; doesn't mean they want to jump your bones, or anything. It could just mean they enjoyed your company and want to treat you. Why do people have to try and find the alterior meaning to everything! Enjoy the moment, be merry.
;) :D |
There you go...I like that explanation a lot better than StereoPrincess' ;) Good attitude |
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| StereoPrincess |
| quote: | Originally posted by starsearcher
So if a guy offers to pay then it means he wants to sleep with you in a future date...
But if a girl offers to pay...then it's a whole different story???
:haha: :stongue: :stongue: :haha: |
re-read the whole thing. i said it goes both ways. way to pay attention champ. :) |
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| StereoPrincess |
| quote: | Originally posted by Allegory
I don't think one should presume anything. Some people are just friendly; doesn't mean they want to jump your bones, or anything. It could just mean they enjoyed your company and want to treat you. Why do people have to try and find the alterior meaning to everything! Enjoy the moment, be merry.
;) :D |
and that's how niave people get into trouble and get told they lead people on. i used to be like this but have witness too many things to the contrary. |
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| starsearcher |
| quote: | Originally posted by StereoPrincess
re-read the whole thing. i said it goes both ways. way to pay attention champ. :) |
Yeah it was a long read and I just saw the end of it :p
But just for the record from a male's point of view...paying for dinner or date or whatever has nothing to do with wanting to sleep with the person. Sure I want to bang the girl I'm with (I am assuming that since we're on a date i like her...), but when I personally offer to pay for her I am not thinking that me getting sex later will be the reason for it :) |
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| StereoPrincess |
| quote: | Originally posted by starsearcher
But just for the record from a male's point of view...paying for dinner or date or whatever has nothing to do with wanting to sleep with the person. Sure I want to bang the girl I'm with (I am assuming that since we're on a date i like her...), but when I personally offer to pay for her I am not thinking that me getting sex later will be the reason :) |
it's not about thinking it at the moment. it's a natural instinct thing. you can't fight it.
if you like her more then she likes you or you don't know, you should offer to pay, if she accepts means that a) she likes you back and would consider sleeping with you or b) she is a gold digger and you will find that out pretty soon anyways.
that's why when you go out with friends you all split the bill unless it's someones birthday or one of you just won the lottery. |
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| starsearcher |
Hhhmmmmmmm....no I don't think I can agree with that...at least not most of the time. I mean I agree about me wanting sex...sure...but paying for her is not what I do to get it...well maybe it's just me I don't know...especially not on a first date kind of thing...
Sometimes I do pay for my friends actually...we'll go out, I'll buy a round of shots...it's no big deal to me.
The reson why I don't agree with you is because in this case I feel like I'm paying for sex...there are much better ways to get a girl into bed than trying to impress her with your money. So in my case personally I don't mix sex and paying for dates together...if I do pay really depends on who I'm out with and how I feel at that particular time :) |
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| Allegory |
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but it's not my problem if one thinks I'm expected to render any favours because I bought them a drink. This isn't the 50's.
Adults are old enough to know not to presume or expect anything from an outing, sometimes a fun or amazing outing just is. I'm sorry, but I am not one for games or insinuations; that's how things get misconstrued. If people just enjoyed the moment and didn't expect so much and conjure all these scenarios of what ifs then maybe they wouldn't be so disappointed with the outcome!
I feel that one should live in the moment, and stop living their lives in cinderella land where the prince or princess will sweep the other off their feet! If we want equality between the sexes, then we should stop presuming or thinking ahead or feel that one is alluding to something!
This is just my opinion. No one has to share it. |
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| starsearcher |
Hehehe I'm starting to like Allegory's way of thinking...
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I never expect any outcome from me paying for the date...especially not sex...if a girl feels obligated to "give me something" in return or if someone who paid feels that he should be repayed...well that's just pathetic really |
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| StereoPrincess |
| quote: | Originally posted by starsearcher
Hehehe I'm starting to like Allegory's way of thinking...
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I never expect any outcome from me paying for the date...especially not sex...if a girl feels obligated to "give me something" in return or if someone who paid feels that he should be repayed...well that's just pathetic really |
well either of you is not understanding me.
you can't fight this. it's a natural process. it goes both ways.
why is it so taboo to you to have it be about sex (and it's not about sex per se, it's about the possibility of sex). as far as i know, humans are sexual beings.
it's not about if you pay, and she accepts, or vice versa, that you have to sleep together. it's a delicate interaction with a possibility of sex.
you even admit yourself that if you ask a girl out and pay for the dinner you like her enough to sleep with her.
i'm looking at this in a totally mathematical and biological sense. does no one agree that humans are animals? |
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| starsearcher |
| No I understand what you are saying...and I have nothing against sex or nothing against talking about it...no taboos here...it's just that when I pay for someone it's NOT becaue of the possibility of sex...sometime in the future. Sex is everywhere and it's REALLY not that hard to find...basically all I'm saying that if i DO pay for someone then it's just because I felt generous, or I wanted to treat someone or etc...nothing to do with sex, or the remote possibility of sex or anything like it... ;) Kind of like Allegory said... |
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