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Should the guy pay for the date? (pg. 14)
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| zookeeper |
| quote: | Originally posted by ShadoWolf
oh I thought you meant the changes "down there" :stongue: :stongue:
:nervous: |
Nah!.. a good OB/Gyn will make everything all better for ya, after delivery. |
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| djeso |
| quote: | Originally posted by ShadoWolf
Little boys split bills, or get girls to pay for them.
Real men always pay for the entire bill, without complaint. It's our duty. You have to treat a woman like a princess. |
and I guess you'd expect a woman to stay home be a housewife too .... eeeehhh |
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| Moral Hazard |
| quote: | Originally posted by Jayx1
id go further and say that rings are unecissary except for the actual wedding and even then they shouldnt have to cost 4 months salary. |
I agree with you that rings are unnecessary, however, marriage is a contract and something of tangable value must be exchanged in order to make it legal. Normally, this is what the ring is for. Technically you could use anything to fulfill this requirement, even a dollar. That being said, the symbolism of a ring is quite nice... |
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| muzzybear |
| If he asked for the date, then yes.:D |
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| Kytracid |
| quote: | Originally posted by ShadoWolf
Little boys split bills, or get girls to pay for them.
Real men always pay for the entire bill, without complaint. It's our duty. You have to treat a woman like a princess. |
Here's a better idea. Take out your credit card, cheque book and cash. Strap it onto your bread basket and ask your lil princess to step all over your manhood with her 3 inch stilletoes. You're probably a sucker for punishment anyway, so it shouldn't really bother you when she walks all over you.
Your statement also begs the question of what a womans role is. Since you obviously consider yourself a real man who pays the bill, what do you expect your lil princesses duties to be ?
Jus a stab in the dark here, but i'm thinking it's gonna involve one or more of the following: cooking, cleaning, performing no hands fellatio, pumping out babies in timely fashion, looking good on your arm and ummm...lots and lots of botox injections and plastic surgery.
Women don't need to be pampered and treated like princesses. That's their daddies job for the first 10-15 years of their lives, not yours.
Your duty towards your woman is to treat her with kindness and respect. To cherish her by being honorable in your intentions. To never misplace her trust. To never cheat on her, and later seek to buy forgiveness and love via gifts because you feel guilty. To be honest and open with your feelings. To communicate. To make her laugh, and provide a strong shoulder when she cries. To inspire her, and be inspired by her so that both of you can grow as human beings. To be her companion as well as her critic. To stand by her. To fight for her. To seek comfort in her arms because you realize how powerful a womans love can be. To be willing to spend the rest of your life trying to understand what moves her soul.
Reaching for your wallet everytime the bill arrives doesn't make you a real man. It just makes you a chump and her personal ATM machine. |
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| Jayx1 |
I will add that those things also apply to how women should treat her man. I dont know about buying gifts to seek forgiveness. If thats what it takes she can stay mad. LOL
Presents should only be used for unpredicted generosity out of caring, not obligation. |
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| zoogla |
Damn I hate it when you sleep through an amazing discussion...I would have had so much to say!!! Well, here goes...
| quote: | Originally posted by Jayx1
Dude talk to me when you are 35 and divorced and left with virtually nothing because your gold digging wife left you for a richer guy... |
OMG really sad and sorry to hear that...more to you in a bit Jayx1...
| quote: | Originally posted by chanoa
who ever askes, pays first date. after u split 50/50 or take turns.
oh, and i'd buy my husband ther ring |
I would have normally said that even for the first date it's nice for the girl to offer, but now that I think of it (thanks to your insight) I can see that whoever ASKS, deserves to pay without even being offerred!!! Makes total sense, because that person requested the company in the first place (be it guy or girl, to a guy or girl ;) Sean!)
| quote: | Originally posted by Jayx1
id go further and say that rings are unecissary except for the actual wedding and even then they shouldnt have to cost 4 months salary. |
AMEN to that...although if you mean after TAXES, 4 months isn't a big deal!! LOL!!! (sorry, Jay, didn't want to get you started on a tax criticism now!!! LOL!!!!)
| quote: | Originally posted by chanoa
definitely not..i'd say perfect would be me, him, some locals on a beach during a vacation..weddings are a waste of money for one day and 2 yrs of stress
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as it should be
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or a watch. its becomming quite popular that if the guy asks, the girl will later buy him a nice piece of jewellry equal to that of the ring. see times are a-changing
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Jem, bang on about chanoa! I love the way she thinks too!!!
I agree; Jenny and I would actually just like to visit City Hall and be done with it, NO CEREMONY (hahaha I'm dreaming...no Paki can get away that) and just dinner with friends...
I disagree about chivalry "should be dead" though...CHAUVANISM should be dead, but unfortunately for some guys the two come hand in hand...I feel honoured opening the car/entrance doors...but I would do that for guys, too...I never mind being the last one in (e.g. elevator, whatever) Just no jackets on the mud though (would rather carry her in the snow when she's wearing stilletos to a party)
And watch!!! LOL!! Jenny and I were just discussing that yesterday! I want a TAG baby!!!! ;)
| quote: | Originally posted by Jayx1
Id be happier with using the money for both on something more lasting like a special vacation or a college fund for any possible future kids |
Yes, the college fund is the most practical thing one could do, because you would be SO much happier when the time came, but I would say the watch/ring is longer lasting than the vacation! I may still be totally naive (maybe it's because I've had a long-distance relationship for the past 6 years) that I still appreciate every little thing that reminds me of my fiancee...so I hope that constant appreciation wouldn't wear off after, say, 20 years! That's why I'd opt for the watch (plus it looks cool! ;))
| quote: | Originally posted by ShadoWolf
if the women is going to bear your children, don't you think she deserves special treatment? she should be pampered, IMO
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I believe some special treatment is DEF warranted only WHILE SHE'S PREGNANT!!! I mean, she's holding OUR FUTURE in her!!!! I'd be damned if she had to ever physically over-exert herself!!! I would totally love for her to continue working out with me, though! ;);) LOL!!!
| quote: | Originally posted by zookeeper
...their whole way of thinking changes, the way they look at you and what you now are to them. |
Okay, you're scaring me man...you're making me think she's a PRAYING MANTIS and will totally think of me as inadequate...PLEASE EXPAND!!!:nervous::nervous::nervous:
And finally, WELL IN SAID KYTRACID. |
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| Jayx1 |
| quote: | | I disagree about chivalry "should be dead" though...CHAUVANISM should be dead, but unfortunately for some guys the two come hand in hand...I feel honoured opening the car/entrance doors...but I would do that for guys, too...I never mind being the last one in (e.g. elevator, whatever) Just no jackets on the mud though (would rather carry her in the snow when she's wearing stilletos to a party) |
Female chauvenism should also be dead. Female chauvenism is the idea that the man still has to follow traditional roles while the female is free to do whatever she pleases. It's everywhere now.
As for the 35 and divorced comment. Dont think thats my situation please LOL
Im much younger and much happier than that. :stongue: :stongue: :tongue3 |
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| Kytracid |
^^^
Actually what i meant to say is, don't cheat on her AND then buy her gifts as a means of begging for forgiveness because this is something a lot of men do... up, then reach for the wallet because they think giving their woman a new braclet, or ring makes up for their mistakes.
(women of course have a huge role in giving men the impression that money is everything so i'm not blaming men for trying to buy love either). |
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| Jayx1 |
| quote: | Originally posted by Kytracid
^^^
Actually what i meant to say is, don't cheat on her AND then buy her gifts as a means of begging for forgiveness because this is something a lot of men do... up, then reach for the wallet because they think giving their woman a new braclet, or ring makes up for their mistakes.
(women of course have a huge role in giving men the impression that money is everything so i'm not blaming men for trying to buy love either). |
got it....
yeah its hard to fight the notion of money = love in today's society and i can see why most men give into that idea. Basically its because if you dont she will most likely go to some sucker that does. It's hard to be an honest and moral person who actually stands up for their own beliefs. I wish more people would do so though as it would make the world a much healthier and more genuine place to live. |
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| muzzybear |
Niall and I eloped to city hall. I didn't ask or want an engagement ring. We went out for Karaoke with our friends that night (it was a wednesday... my boss gave me the day off!).
It couldn't have been more perfect! It was no stress for my family (my sister's wedding was a fiasco - fights - she married a biker - and my brother is on his 3rd wife.) My mom was relieved to not have to deal with the wedding baloney, plus it's about the rest of your lives, not about the day! :D |
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| Moral Hazard |
| quote: | Originally posted by Jayx1
got it....
yeah its hard to fight the notion of money = love in today's society and i can see why most men give into that idea. Basically its because if you dont she will most likely go to some sucker that does. It's hard to be an honest and moral person who actually stands up for their own beliefs. I wish more people would do so though as it would make the world a much healthier and more genuine place to live. |
"money = love" is not generic to today's society. Of principle importance for female primates (that includes us) in choosing mates is security. In present human society wealth = security. Prior to currency land = security, prior to property rights power = security, prior to civilization strength = security.
Of course there are a host of other criteria used by women to choose a mate, however, security remains one of the most important. This is starting to change, thankfully, because women themselves have more money today and therefore are more secure independent of a man so the money aspect of security takes on less importance. |
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