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Should the guy pay for the date? (pg. 4)
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| Moral Hazard |
| quote: | Originally posted by Jayx1
Any guy who doesnt have a spine deserves to be walked all over. The problem is that there are way too many spineless guys which makes it difficult for the honest self respecting guys out there. |
It isn't always a question of spine. I like to pay. It makes me feel good to pay. I look at it as a trade off, she's doing me the favour of having her company therefore I should do her the favour of treating her. I am, however, somewhat of a traditionalist in matters of protocal and social dealings. |
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| Jayx1 |
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
she's doing me the favour of having her company |
WHAAAAAAAAAAT?????
Shes honouring you with her presence?
Oh man i feel sorry for you
You are :whip: :whip: :whip: :whip: :whip: :whip: :whip: :whip: beyond belief.
I am of the belief that she should be as honoured to be in my presence as i am to be in hers.
No wonder women are the way they are around here.... ! |
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| Moral Hazard |
| quote: | Originally posted by Jayx1
WHAAAAAAAAAAT?????
Shes honouring you with her presence?
Oh man i feel sorry for you
You are :whip: :whip: :whip: :whip: :whip: :whip: :whip: :whip: beyond belief.
I am of the belief that she should be as honoured to be in my presence as i am to be in hers.
No wonder women are the way they are around here.... ! |
Not even close to being whipped... I have total freedom within my relationship and my fiancee will do whatever I ask of her. See, when you treat a woman with some measure of respect you will get that respect back. When you make her feel that she is the most important person in your life and it is your privilege to be with her she will behave the same toward you. This is because the way a woman feels about you is directly related to the way you make her feel about herself (if you have not figured this out then you have a lot to learn, son). By making my fiancee feel great about herself her love for me is reenforced, this in turn increases her trust in me and security in our relationship. If you have love trust and security it is amazing how good a relationship can be and how free both parties can be within it.
BTW, if you knew my fiancee you would agree that she is honouring me with her presence.... she's way to good for me! She feels the same way about me. And it is exactly that kind of thinking that prevents us from taking one another for granted and it is the reason we are where we are.
Maybe you should try changing your approach to women. |
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| Jayx1 |
I agree with you about respect. But too many people equate respect with material items. Respect means treating somebody like an equal as a person as well as someone you care about. But respect should always go both ways.
Spending money does not equal respect
| quote: | if you knew my fiancee you would agree that she is honouring me with her presence.... she's way to good for me! She feels the same way about me. And it is exactly that kind of thinking that prevents us from taking one another for granted and it is the reason we are where we are.
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thats exactly the point i was making when i said:| quote: | | I am of the belief that she should be as honoured to be in my presence as i am to be in hers. |
it should work both ways. But the way you posted it sounded like you had to thank her for being there by paying her way. Thats just a wrong way of thinking. |
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| Moral Hazard |
| quote: | Originally posted by Jayx1
But the way you posted it sounded like you had to thank her for being there by paying her way. Thats just a wrong way of thinking. |
It would be better to say that I want to pay her way as a gesture to signal my gratitude that she would choose to spend her time with me. I also show this by treating her like a lady, opening doors, being well mannered, and considering her feelings equal to my own. There is no mandate that I must pay, it is a choice. |
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| DJ Chrono |
| For me it's pretty much random who pays. I think it equals out pretty well in the end though, maybe I spend alittle more. |
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| AwakenedAddict |
| When I was younger I preferred to split the bill. Now that I have a better job (steady, larger cashflow), I don't mind paying for dates. However, if after the first couple dates a girl doesn't even attempt to offer to pay for her share of the date, I know it's probably someone I don't want to be with much more. |
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| djbruuen |
definately agree with jayx by saying 'no wonder girls are how they are these days' with comments like moral hazards.
if you have an awesome relationship and thats the way you like to do things moral hazard, by all means, i'm not going to pry into that, but on a general level among most men and women, i completely stand on the points i made that its an equality, and comments like "its a privlidge to be in her presence, so i return that favour by paying when we go out" :nervous: :nervous: :nervous:
that right there just freaks the out of me. its just as much a privlidge for me to be in her presence as her to be in my presence. that = a good relationship. theres no tricks to making a relionship with to many insecurities work well. ( i emphasize WELL, becuase denial is all to prevelant in todays society, i mean who hasn't had relationships that have lasted way longer then they should have). |
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| e*motion |
| I usually always pay regardless.. but I love it when a girl TRIES to pay for it.. thats a good girl. |
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| Jayx1 |
| quote: | Originally posted by djbruuen
definately agree with jayx by saying 'no wonder girls are how they are these days' with comments like moral hazards.
if you have an awesome relationship and thats the way you like to do things moral hazard, by all means, i'm not going to pry into that, but on a general level among most men and women, i completely stand on the points i made that its an equality, and comments like "its a privlidge to be in her presence, so i return that favour by paying when we go out" :nervous: :nervous: :nervous:
that right there just freaks the out of me. its just as much a privlidge for me to be in her presence as her to be in my presence. that = a good relationship. theres no tricks to making a relionship with to many insecurities work well. ( i emphasize WELL, becuase denial is all to prevelant in todays society, i mean who hasn't had relationships that have lasted way longer then they should have). |
Exactly... these "traditional" guys who don't have "traditional" girlfriends. You can't have it both ways IMO |
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| Moral Hazard |
| quote: | Originally posted by djbruuen
that right there just freaks the out of me. its just as much a privlidge for me to be in her presence as her to be in my presence. that = a good relationship. theres no tricks to making a relionship with to many insecurities work well. ( i emphasize WELL, becuase denial is all to prevelant in todays society, i mean who hasn't had relationships that have lasted way longer then they should have). |
You clearly don't understand what I said. It is my privlidge to be with my fiancee and I recognize that by treating her accordingly. She does the same. Additionally, what I was saying re:security was that if you treat a woman well and make her feel good about herself then she will feel equally good about you. That inturn will build a relationship where there are no insecurities. |
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| Jayx1 |
i dont set myself up to be taken advantage of. When its a girl who i just met we go for coffee. Im not taking a complete stranger out for a $300 night just as i would hope that she wouldnt have sex with a total stranger. Same thing.
If she doesnt offer to pay her share then it's over for her. If she does offer i usually decline and offer to pay.
Its not about money its about having repsect for someone you dont know very well. Later on if the relationship progresses in a healthy way then it just balances itself out. And if it doesnt then you should be able to talk about it and work it out. Thats what mature people do.
Funny but i dont think that relationships are about taking advantage of someone else or being honoured by someone's presence. Its about enjoying each others company whether its over mcdonalds or cavier on the riviera. I wish most others thought this way. |
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