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Should the guy pay for the date? (pg. 8)
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| naesean3 |
| quote: | Originally posted by fayraree
After 6 years of dating and a few months of engagement, my sweetie still doesn't disappoint!!! LOL!!! ;):D j/k...I almost always pay because I'm employed full-time but when we were BOTH students, she always tried to pay half the time...she was the first relationship I had that did this so I knew there was something special...and even now that I cover pretty much 90% (except for special occasions like Valentine's or Birthdays), she still thanks me "generously" ;) hahahaha no just a simple thank you is enough...I love her for not taking me for granted!!! |
that's excellent dude - which is proof positive to why on so many levels you are happy with your choice in partner!!! WIckiD!!! |
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| Moral Hazard |
| quote: | Originally posted by naesean3
I love how people get all in a huff over race issues - racism....yet still continue to use sexuality and what line you stand on/team you play for as a weapon of oppression and hatred........ed up!!! :sadgreen: |
There is no story in the old testimate about God destroying a city because the inhabitants were of a different race. Remember nearly all of the hatred or prejudice (as some like Jay don't hate but certainly don't approve) is based on religion OR based on tradition which is born out of religion. One thing that really gets me is how people have misinterpreted this story in particular.... of course I refer to the story of Soddom... Most people think that God rained fire down on the city because it was full of homosexuals. What these people miss is the very important point that some of the people of Soddom attempted to rape God's messenger to the people.... maybe he destroyed Soddom because it was full of rapists... maybe we should hate them not gays.... or maybe I missed the point. |
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| zoogla |
Wow Sean...I was just reading through the 2nd page (40 posts view) and I was shocked to see where that went!!!! Damn, you asked an innocent question, totally jokingly but then get a (sorry Jayx1, love ya but) smug answer...
Although I have to say there is always a possibility of misunderstanding on the Internet because you're not face to face and you may not see the look of slight shock that a careless joke that someone made (by the smugness) was really not meant to hurt anyone...that's a big problem with the forum...
...I stated in a thread a long time ago, I think it was one of starsearcher's threads that it's so hard to know what people's intentions are and that can cause the very debilitating situations that you're talking about...it SUX...
...I also hardly know Jayx1 but over the past couple of months of reading his posts, I can see he doesn't have harmful intentions...so I would go so far as (still haven't met so you never know intentions, but I'm a naive ) saying that I'd vouch for the more positive image of Jayx1...and I'm sure (although he won't apologize for what he said) I know he has a conscience and I strongly believe that he at least regrets that it could hurt someone...which doesn't change his personal views about homosexuality (which apply only to himself)...
I think there was a bit of misunderstanding on both parts, and in the end you two are very much in agreement about the subject of this thread...
(sorry if I'm crossing the line here, Jayx1, and don't know if what I said makes sense to you Sean) |
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| naesean3 |
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
There is no story in the old testimate about God destroying a city because the inhabitants were of a different race. Remember nearly all of the hatred or prejudice (as some like Jay don't hate but certainly don't approve) is based on religion OR based on tradition which is born out of religion. One thing that really gets me is how people have misinterpreted this story in particular.... of course I refer to the story of Soddom... Most people think that God rained fire down on the city because it was full of homosexuals. What these people miss is the very important point that some of the people of Soddom attempted to rape God's messenger to the people.... maybe he destroyed Soddom because it was full of rapists... maybe we should hate them not gays.... or maybe I missed the point. |
yep missed the point - sorry Moral Hazard - I was attempting to state how people get upset over the racial issues that plague our society - the flippant use of "******, chink, spic, cracker etc....." and the obvious hatred lurking behind such comments - most people are in agreement "theoretically" and "justifiably" that this is wrong and politically incorrect language to use while addressing someone of a different creed/culture and at the same time saying "******, queer, dyke, fudgepacker...etc" is "not quite the same" for some reason....seriously I knew someone - who was black and was complaining about how people harassed/name called over his skin colour and within five minutes made a derogatory commment against gays and lesbians.......WTF!!!!!! I was like buddy - you are both in the same boat what a thing to say?? (in this predominant - white skewed society of North America culture and psyche) I would have expected a much more tempered intelligent approach...I thought it was terribly trashy and ignorant to say the least.......how can one slander be above another.....they are both stemming from hatred against fears that the slanderer cannot deal with because of their own insecurities......mind boggling!!!!! |
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| Moral Hazard |
| quote: | Originally posted by naesean3
yep missed the point - sorry Moral Hazard - I was attempting to state how people get upset over the racial issues that plague our society - the flippant use of "******, chink, spic, cracker etc....." and the obvious hatred lurking behind such comments - most people are in agreement "theoretically" and "justifiably" that this is wrong and politically incorrect language to use while addressing someone of a different creed/culture and at the same time saying "******, queer, dyke, fudgepacker...etc" is "not quite the same" for some reason....seriously I knew someone - who was black and was complaining about how people harassed/name called over his skin colour and within five minutes made a derogatory commment against gays and lesbians.......WTF!!!!!! I was like buddy - you are both in the same boat what a thing to say?? (in this predominant - white skewed society of North America culture and psyche) I would have expected a much more tempered intelligent approach...I thought it was terribly trashy and ignorant to say the least.......how can one slander be above another.....they are both stemming from hatred against fears that the slanderer cannot deal with because of their own insecurities......mind boggling!!!!! |
Actually, I was referring to the story of Soddom and being sarcastic at that.
I agree with you that there should be no difference in how we view any type of prejudice that is based on preconceived notions of a segment of society. This would include race, sexual orientation, gender, economic standing, hair colour, or anything else. My post was mearly an attempt to explain why many people do see a difference between the two. People rely on a limited understanding about something and then use that as justification for why they should hate. In the case of hating homosexuals it is largely the old testament that is used as justification.
The good news is that much as racism has become unacceptable and is decreasing in both it's frequency and severity so too will prejudice against homosexuals. I think that this in inevitable. Unfortunately, this is not a quick process by any means. |
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| naesean3 |
| quote: | Originally posted by fayraree
Wow Sean...I was just reading through the 2nd page (40 posts view) and I was shocked to see where that went!!!! Damn, you asked an innocent question, totally jokingly but then get a (sorry Jayx1, love ya but) smug answer...
Although I have to say there is always a possibility of misunderstanding on the Internet because you're not face to face and you may not see the look of slight shock that a careless joke that someone made (by the smugness) was really not meant to hurt anyone...that's a big problem with the forum...
...I stated in a thread a long time ago, I think it was one of starsearcher's threads that it's so hard to know what people's intentions are and that can cause the very debilitating situations that you're talking about...it SUX...
...I also hardly know Jayx1 but over the past couple of months of reading his posts, I can see he doesn't have harmful intentions...so I would go so far as (still haven't met so you never know intentions, but I'm a naive ) saying that I'd vouch for the more positive image of Jayx1...and I'm sure (although he won't apologize for what he said) I know he has a conscience and I strongly believe that he at least regrets that it could hurt someone...which doesn't change his personal views about homosexuality (which apply only to himself)...
I think there was a bit of misunderstanding on both parts, and in the end you two are very much in agreement about the subject of this thread...
(sorry if I'm crossing the line here, Jayx1, and don't know if what I said makes sense to you Sean) |
no problem dude I have noticed a few comments over the last few months on these forums that made the hair stand up on the back of my neck......anyone beyond the WASP socio-stereotype recognizes a potential slanderous/mocking/bigoted comment even it is 10% there......I honestly was just joking when I made the comment - even used the term "who should pay if the 2 guys are gay" so it would ryhme.........but his comment did smack of a certain smugness - maybe that is my own interpretation - that could be totally so - but when pressed - he started making excuses - apologies/or not apologize :conf: for his reaction - that I do not have a problem with - everyone has a right to their opinion - as do I - I just questioned why the response he made after was not the first response.......there within lies something that I can't quite put my finger on as of intent and purpose of his first statement........
I pride myself on being what most of my friends say as a "straight gay" - a guy who respects others "lifestyle" choices and do not try to impose my HOTNESS upon them........LOL!!
Nor that I am ashamed of who I am now (for a while - I unfortunately was :sadgreen: ) it is much easier to let my personality dictate who I am - my "lifestyle" choice should always be secondary and in all honesty not even that really a basis for judgement.......more like that "guy is a cool guy - I wonder if he likes TRANCE!!!! LOL!!
That I have no problem people wondering about me!!!!!! |
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| naesean3 |
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
Actually, I was referring to the story of Soddom and being sarcastic at that.
I agree with you that there should be no difference in how we view any type of prejudice that is based on preconceived notions of a segment of society. This would include race, sexual orientation, gender, economic standing, hair colour, or anything else. My post was mearly an attempt to explain why many people do see a difference between the two. People rely on a limited understanding about something and then use that as justification for why they should hate. In the case of hating homosexuals it is largely the old testament that is used as justification.
The good news is that much as racism has become unacceptable and is decreasing in both it's frequency and severity so too will prejudice against homosexuals. I think that this in inevitable. Unfortunately, this is not a quick process by any means. |
quick process - definitely not - being an alter boy and catholic school-reared I now far to well the supposed "evils" of homosexuality (and who knows in the end - it may very well be true).......this conditioning was a main reason why it took me years to finally really accept who I am........
this religious go forth and procreate/we must give birth as to increase our numbers diatribe......may have held more truth when you have a few million or so people around 2000 years ago........now we have expanded/procreated/extended life to the point of ridiculousness.....this same sentiment/reasoning cannot hold as much power.....sometimes I entertain myself with believing maybe I am doing the world a favour by not creating life........religion has a major problem with one using their sexuality for ones own purpose - not everyone has to be mini-gods - creating likenesses in their own images....???
who knows......... |
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| Jayx1 |
| quote: | Originally posted by naesean3
actually it kinda is your problem - that type of response is indicitive of the lack of respect some people is society face day to day - most times unspoken and powerfully debilatating - if you are not part of the solution - you are part of the problem.....that statement is very shallow and selfish..........I love how people get all in a huff over race issues - racism....yet still continue to use sexuality and what line you stand on/team you play for as a weapon of oppression and hatred........ed up!!! :sadgreen: |
if people become oversensitive over a completely benign statement and read into what is not even there then i can't help it and it's not my problem.
I don't have time to deal with everyone's sensitivity issues and im not going to apologize for something someone thought i may have said or implied if i didnt say it.
With the reaction around here to what i said you'd think my name was ernst zundel or something... Sheesh! |
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| Jayx1 |
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
(as some like Jay don't hate but certainly don't approve) |
Excuse me? Now i "dont approve"
Where the hell do you get off making that kind of statement?
For the last time. ITS NOT MY LIFESTYLE AND I DONT APPROVE OF IT FOR ME..
But everyone else can do whatever the hell they want. It doesnt bother me and i dont care if i see it. Im very liberal. Its pretty sad when you cant be obvious about your own personal choice without being crucified....
oh better watch my terminology on that one too because now maybe the religious people will get upset :rolleyes: |
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| Jayx1 |
| quote: | Originally posted by naesean3
- but when pressed - he started making excuses - apologies/or not apologize :conf: for his reaction - |
i make no excuses for my beliefs. im just trying to get you to understand that you are being oversensitive and reading too much into an otherwise benign comment.
I perosnally dont care who pays for the date when it's a gay situation just the same as i dont care what the price of eggs are in india. Because neither situation applies to me. Thats that!
Im just tired of people trying to make issues out of nothing. Seriously lighten up! |
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| Spyder |
personaly i belive in equality so girl and boy pay... but with me i would like it for the guy to first Offer that he wants to pay and then allow me to pay for half of it
but once or twice i would like it that the guy pay.... and then few times i pay so ya know equal out... but i rather have the guy do it first and then second date or wotever i pay for him.... |
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| St_Andrew |
so on a completly on topic note :p i just talked to my dad on the phone from sweden, and he said even in his generation, the guy is NOT excpected to pay for the dates! And if he does, it is excpected that the girl will pay back!
Canadian women, wake up!!! |
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