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God Damnit! (pg. 11)
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| Arbiter |
| quote: | Originally posted by kr00t0n
Preparing for terrorism is not that same as having something ready to replace something that you might lose. |
No, it isn't the same, it is merely similar in some respects, that's why it's an analogy.
In this case, although a breach in national security and the loss of a romantic partner are highly dissimilar situations, they are similar with regards to the fact that preparing for those possibilities in no way means that you are any less committed to maintaining the status quo. It only means that you are realistic enough to realize that despite your best efforts that possibile outcome may come to fruition, and that it is prudent to be as prepared for that potentiality as possible.
| quote: | Also, emotions make things very different.
Fair enough, if you are with a girl purely on a physical level, I guess the concept of having back-up shags isn't so sinister, but in a serious relationship it bloody well is, and don't try and pick away at this with logic or rationale, because those go out the window when emotions are concerned in this matter, one of the most annoying human traits. |
Spurious nonsense. Being in a serious relationship confers many responsibilities. Refraining from considering what one would do if that relationship were to end is not one of them, no matter how much insecure people might find that disagreeable. |
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| Slylee |
for those of you who care to read...
just so u have the whole story:p i appreciate everyone's responses by the way.
Ok I agree with what most of you are saying. I promise I’m not like this sheisty cheater. Seriously, I love Craig to death, I would never cheat on him. But like some of you are saying, it’s not that wrong to just find someone else attractive and interesting. I have guilt though because I wouldn’t like it if this was happening with Craig and some pretty classmate. So THAT’S why I feel guilty.
Here’s the story. Like 3 weeks ago our photography class had a fieldtrip to south beach at 7:30 in the morning (for that early morning light). I slept over Craig’s that night since he lives right by south beach. So I get to the meeting spot and this guy was there along with some other classmates and I didn’t even recognize him (or anyone for that matter) because I just go to class and I don’t really talk to anyone. So I started chatting with everyone and including him (just bullting and making everyone laugh). Well he asked if any of us were going to the boat show and I chimed in because I know a little bit about boats since my uncle is a yacht captain and also because I was in fact gonna go to the boat show with Craig. Well it ended up just me and him having this big discussion about boats and traveling and stuff because he mentioned that he just got back from Monte Carlo on business and then I mentioned that I lived in Japan during high school and he was asking me about that (all the other classmates were just like sitting there at this point). It turns out he is a yacht architect (graduated from University of Illinois) and his company is paying for him to go to the Art Institute to get his yacht interior design degree. He’s from Chicago, but he was born in Austria...he's 25.
So the teacher shows up and bla bla bla…so we all sort of set off and start taking pictures n stuff…well I ran back into him after a few minutes and my batteries were dead in my camera and so were his. So we started looking for an open store (stuff wasn’t really open yet since it was like 8 in the morning) to find batteries. We were just like wandering around south beach talking about all kinds of stuff (that’s what I mean about the chemistry thing). We had a lot in common and we just really hit it off, but I talked about Craig an awful lot too because that’s just how I am. I think we got on the subject of ex’s because of him talking about his ex gf. He still talks to her and it’s kind of a back n forth thing. So we find a store and he insists on buying my batteries which I thought was weird, but I was just like, “umm ok thanks”.
We take more pictures (by this time, we met back up with 2 other girls from my class and we were all like walking around together taking pictures). He asked me questions about Craig too which was funny. He wanted to know how long we had been together, and what he did, yada yada.
So we decide we’re all hungry (our group) so I called Craig and told him to meet us all for breakfast and he did. He was very friendly with Craig right from the getgo, but it wasn’t in a gay way at all. I think he was just trying to like impress us both and get in good with the boyfriend for some reason (maybe he decided at that point that he liked me?? I dunno, but that’s just the vibe I got). So then as we’re all leaving the cafe, he invites Craig and me to go on his company sailboat later on that day with him and his co-workers. Craig didn’t seem interested so I just said, “Well just call us later and we’ll see what we’re doing” and he was like, “ok sure” so we exchanged numbers right there in front of Craig. He called later but we didn’t go.
So then the hurricane happens and I don’t have school for like almost 2 weeks but the boat show was coming up (this was over a week ago) and my mom couldn’t get into her office building because of the damage and that’s where my boat show tickets were…so no tickets=no boat show. These tickets were given to my mom from a client. So I called him up because he said he can get them free from his job. So he arranges that and Craig and I get to the boat show and call him up and he gets us in and he gets us on this tour of a mega yacht and we sort of hang out for the day (the 3 of us).
So then that following week he couldn’t make class so he called me to tell me to email him what he misses…so I did..and basically ever since then, he has been emailing me this week. Just like “good morning” and he pretty much spilled the beans about his whole situation with his ex. It turns out she has a 2 year old daughter and she sounds like a big drama queen, going back and forth telling him she loves him one minute, and then she wants out the next….he said he bought her a ring and was ready to pop the question and everything…and then he told me about some silly bet that he and his co-workers have about how deep you would have to go in water before a ping pong ball would explode and that a couple of them are going on a dive trip this weekend to get the answer (they are a bunch of brainy engineers) and he said the pot is up to like 3k and that if he wins, “we’re all going to party this weekend”. I was just like, “haha cool”. So just dumb stuff like that he’s been emailing me. Also, I don’t think he has internet at home, and he told me he doesn’t work on Fridays…but that today he went in to get some stuff done, and he’s still at work and he keeps emailing me. I haven’t been really writing him back with long responses or anything. I don’t want to lead him on. I love my boyfriend. But it’s just flattering that this really intelligent and attractive guy seems to like me, that’s all. i was just venting to you guys, I would never act on this. And if this guy was SOOO friggin amazing to me, and if it was worth it to lose Craig, I would certainly break up with Craig before I did anything. But I don’t feel like it’s worth it. Craig is everything I’ve ever wanted in a boyfriend, but the only thing that is lacking with Craig is that we don’t have intelligent discussions about anything really. I like a guy to be smarter than me to challenge me…I like to learn from people. Craig is just all mushy with me all the time and only talks about his day at school and how much he missed me. I always initiate conversations about other things like current events and he never seems interested. When I have talked to this other guy, I mean we talked about traveling, and his job designing yachts (very interesting to me), and stuff like that. So that’s why I’m just intrigued by this guy, that’s all. but he’s got all this drama with his ex and her kid…I wonder why he’s telling me all that about her… |
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| Arbiter |
Wow, hahaha. :p
Do you feel better now that you've gotten all that off your chest? |
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| dj_bas |
It could be a few things, he's from Chicago...maybe he just wants some friends? He's in a ty "relationship" and wants a way out. He probably does like you though and is honestly just waiting for you to break up with Craig. He's a clever one this photo/boat guy...be careful.
And you know, if you can't overlook the lack of conversation with Craig, then this guy's appeal may start to eat at you. |
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| ::TranceVanDyk:: |
well, i have an equation that would help us all out in the CORe.
(you + camera) x (photography class) = take a pic of the dude = YOU KNOW WHAT. |
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| igottaknow |
| quote: | Originally posted by ::TranceVanDyk::
well, i have an equation that would help us all out in the CORe.
(you + camera) x (photography class) = take a pic of the dude = YOU KNOW WHAT. |
*raise hand and shouts out
PICS OR STFU! |
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| tribu |
Based on that, I'll be the bad guy and say you break up with Craig. The other guy seems to be more of what you want in a life partner, which is the ultimate goal of a relationship. Not acting selfishly is key, but denying yourself happiness in this scenario isn't right either...it will only lead to unhappiness and a potentially horrible break up with Craig.
You say Craig is everything you want in a boyfriend, but then you say he isn't. Meanwhile, this new guy has the potential to meet your desires more fully. I would say that Craig isn't right for you, but don't immediately date the other guy exclusively. Take your time and find someone who is right for you, then start a serious relationship once you've defined the ideal partner. You should always be sure that the person youre dating is what you want before you get into a serious commitment, to avoid sticky situations and disastisfaction.
But, what the hell do I know? |
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| igottaknow |
| quote: | Originally posted by tribu
Based on that, I'll be the bad guy and say you break up with Craig. The other guy seems to be more of what you want in a life partner, which is the ultimate goal of a relationship. Not acting selfishly is key, but denying yourself happiness in this scenario isn't right either...it will only lead to unhappiness and a potentially horrible break up with Craig.
You say Craig is everything you want in a boyfriend, but then you say he isn't. Meanwhile, this new guy has the potential to meet your desires more fully. I would say that Craig isn't right for you, but don't immediately date the other guy exclusively. Take your time and find someone who is right for you, then start a serious relationship once you've defined the ideal partner. |
i'd agree but the only problem is the other guy has a kid and could have a boat load of baggage (no pun intended). |
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| dj_bas |
| quote: | Originally posted by igottaknow
i'd agree but the only problem is the other guy has a kid and could have a boat load of baggage (no pun intended). |
I don't think it's his kid, it's his ex-gf's right? |
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| Moral Hazard |
| ^^^^ regardles, this is a momentary thing that will pass in time. The only question that remains is whether or not Jamie has the wearwithall to resist temptation. Likelihood is none of us will ever know because she isn't dumb enough to tell us. |
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| tribu |
I didn't say start dating the other guy.
I said she should try to identify that the person is an ideal mate before entering an exclusive relationship. It appears (maybe you can confirm this Jamie?) that she kinda got swept off her feet by Craig's charm, similar to what is happening now with the photography guy. She entered the relationship without "researching" if Craig fulfilled what she wanted, and know its almost like she settling for what shes committed to.
So I say break up with Craig, and take your time trying to find an someone perfect, but I'm also not in successful relatrionship, so take what I say with a grain of salt |
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| igottaknow |
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
^^^^ regardles, this is a momentary thing that will pass in time. The only question that remains is whether or not Jamie has the wearwithall to resist temptation. Likelihood is none of us will ever know because she isn't dumb enough to tell us. |
I have a feeling she's going to model for the photog guy. you know those arty tasteful nakid pics. :eyes: |
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