|
Jokes that never get old... (jeez i'm thread-whoring today) (pg. 6)
|
View this Thread in Original format
| medinaM5 |
| I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out |
|
|
| chojin |
an englishman, scotsman and irishman [can be any races] are all on the run from the police when they spot three human-sized sacks.
the englishman dives into one and hides. an officer kicks the sack and the englishman makes a 'meow' sound. the officer thinks 'ah it must be a bag of kittens nevermind' and walks away
the scotmsan dives into one and hides. an officer kicks the sack and the scotsman makes a 'woof' sound. the officer thinks 'ah it must be a bag of puppies nevermind' and walks away
the irishman dives into one and hides. an officer kicks the sack and the irishman says 'potatoes!' |
|
|
| medinaM5 |
| A woman gets on a bus, carrying her baby. As she pays her fare, the driver says 'Jesus, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen.' The woman goes to the back of the bus, fuming with indignation, and sits down next to another passenger. She turns to the passenger, and says 'Did you hear what the driver said to me? I was so shocked, I couldn't even speak!' So the other passenger, sympathetic, says 'Never mind, dear, you go back there and tell him what you think of him. I'll hold your monkey for you.' |
|
|
| AnotherWay83 |
hehe
did you hear abt the fly that was sitting on the toilet seat? he got pissed off
my favorite channel is the home shopping network because theres never any ads on there
:D
great jokes ppl. keep 'em coming!!! :D |
|
|
| Boomer187 |
| I met this chick at a bar the other night and she says come over no one is home. So I go over there and no one was home. |
|
|
| Randy S |
so I am not much of a joke teller but there is this drunken sailor who went into a brothel (sp?) one evening because it was the grand opening and there were lots of specials - When he walked in the owner of the place came down to greet him but realized there were no more women- they were all "preoccupied" in various rooms...but this sailor, he was drunk...like really drunk...so the man who owns the place says, "You know what, I have just the one for you!" The owner leads the drunken sailor into a dark room and says enjoy! 30 minutes later the owner expects the sailor to be finished but he is still in there....and hour passes and the owner begins worrying that the sailor might have gotten hurt or something - an HOUR and a HALF later the sailor finally walks out of the room and looks all shades of fatigued...
the owner asks how it went?
The sailor responds, "It was great until I bit her nipple, she farted and flew out the window!"
bah Im a loser... |
|
|
| DasBrotBesser |
| quote: | Originally posted by Randy S
so I am not much of a joke teller but there is this drunken sailor who went into a brothel (sp?) one evening because it was the grand opening and there were lots of specials - When he walked in the owner of the place came down to greet him but realized there were no more women- they were all "preoccupied" in various rooms...but this sailor, he was drunk...like really drunk...so the man who owns the place says, "You know what, I have just the one for you!" The owner leads the drunken sailor into a dark room and says enjoy! 30 minutes later the owner expects the sailor to be finished but he is still in there....and hour passes and the owner begins worrying that the sailor might have gotten hurt or something - an HOUR and a HALF later the sailor finally walks out of the room and looks all shades of fatigued...
the owner asks how it went?
The sailor responds, "It was great until I bit her nipple, she farted and flew out the window!"
bah Im a loser... |
Hm, a balloon? That's the only thing I can think of... :conf: :conf: |
|
|
| DJ Mikey Mike |
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Rape. |
|
|
| Ang ' ela_ie |
| The interrupting cow (sometimes played as the starfish) always cracks me up. |
|
|
| qtwre |
lol, these are hilariously offensive. Please post more.
Stevie Wonder... lol |
|
|
| Slylee |
| quote: | Originally posted by chojin
an englishman, scotsman and irishman [can be any races] are all on the run from the police when they spot three human-sized sacks.
the englishman dives into one and hides. an officer kicks the sack and the englishman makes a 'meow' sound. the officer thinks 'ah it must be a bag of kittens nevermind' and walks away
the scotmsan dives into one and hides. an officer kicks the sack and the scotsman makes a 'woof' sound. the officer thinks 'ah it must be a bag of puppies nevermind' and walks away
the irishman dives into one and hides. an officer kicks the sack and the irishman says 'potatoes!' |
ok i don't know why, but for some reason, this joke just hit me the right way, and when i called my mom to tell her, i couldn't even finish it because i was laughing so hard (i had tears coming out of my eyes). and then she was like, "Hahah what?? what!??" she started laughing at me laughing, and then finally i was able to spit out the word "potatoes" and she lost it as well. :D
good stuff! |
|
|
|
|
