|
Why Women Love bad boys (pg. 8)
|
View this Thread in Original format
| English Rachel |
| quote: | Originally posted by Spam
After only 6 months or sooner you were already living with him and taking him across the Atlantic to meet your family and friends? That's another thing people do wrong in their relationships. They rush EVERYTHING. But the worst mistake that can be made is they move in too soon. I move in with my girlfriend when we're married.
It's great to hear that you learned a lesson from the experience and don't hold any bitter feelings for your experience though. It's very mature, and very hard for people to learn from a bad experience and move on rather than blame others for their problems and become bitter.
I'm a bit of a blip on the outskirts of the 'normal' dating radar because I'm very picky about who I date, and it takes at least 3 months of knowing a girl for me to decide she's right for me to be dating. Most people are of the opinion that it's better to get to know a person in a relationship. But before I invest any of my time, heart and energy into a girl, I want to be fairly confident she's going to be worth it. Many girls would do well to do the same. |
Hmmm, rushing. I totally understand where you are coming from but at 27 (at the time) you think that you know, more or less, what you want out of a partner. Honestly, I would do the same again, I think 6 months is long enough to get to know someone - let's face it, people get married in far less time. As for going home to England, I was going anyway and he just came along.
I, too, am very picky and have been single far more than in a relationship during my adult life. No offence, especially as you speak such wise words, but at 21, I thought I had all the time in the world too. |
|
|
| DiskoBiskit |
| quote: | [i][b] I move in with my girlfriend when we're married.
|
Thats a bit daft I am afraid as you never get to know someone until you live with them. English Rach found that out, as did I. You move in with your man, and THEN you find out the bad habits (coughing up flem every morning, need I go on...) and this is the sort of thing you need to decide if you can deal with every morning for the next few years, 10 years, 20 years or 50. I have been through this living with a man for 6 years. Things grate on you, but you realise that you piss them off too sometimes.. (make-up everywhere, too many clothes, being anal over dishes / items being in correct place)
Sadly it's all give and take. If you have trust, friendship, love and respect for each other it will last a long time. I'm not saying my relationship was perfect - far from it. Trust was broken numerous times, but rebuilt and the relationship made stronger. Like someone else said on this forum - it's an ongoing daily process. |
|
|
| zokissima |
| quote: | I'm a bit of a blip on the outskirts of the 'normal' dating radar because I'm very picky about who I date, and it takes at least 3 months of knowing a girl for me to decide she's right for me to be dating. Most people are of the opinion that it's better to get to know a person in a relationship. But before I invest any of my time, heart and energy into a girl, I want to be fairly confident she's going to be worth it. Many girls would do well to do the same.
|
I kind of find this weird. It takes you three months to figure out whether or not you like someone and want to give it a shot? So all your relationships absolutely MUST go somewhere in order for them to be worth it. I don't mean to jump at you, but maybe you're just a coward of being hurt/not having your expectations met...
Personally, I think there is nothing wrong with jumping right in. If you like someone, you can show restraint, fine, but just as with arguing, taking a risk and jumping in is a passionate thing to do.
Regardless of whether or not it works out, as Rachel pointed out, it makes you a stronger person, and you're better for it in the end. |
|
|
| English Rachel |
| quote: | Originally posted by zokissima
I kind of find this weird. It takes you three months to figure out whether or not you like someone and want to give it a shot? So all your relationships absolutely MUST go somewhere in order for them to be worth it. I don't mean to jump at you, but maybe you're just a coward of being hurt/not having your expectations met...
Personally, I think there is nothing wrong with jumping right in. If you like someone, you can show restraint, fine, but just as with arguing, taking a risk and jumping in is a passionate thing to do.
Regardless of whether or not it works out, as Rachel pointed out, it makes you a stronger person, and you're better for it in the end. |
I agree, what is the point in 'falling' if you don't risk getting hurt? |
|
|
| starsearcher |
| But what if one doesn't really want to fall? |
|
|
| English Rachel |
| Stay single. |
|
|
| starsearcher |
| quote: | Originally posted by English Rachel
Stay single. |
:D :D |
|
|
| starsearcher |
| quote: | Originally posted by starsearcher
:D :D |
*edit*
and be a "bad boy" party man? |
|
|
| English Rachel |
| quote: | Originally posted by starsearcher
*edit*
and be a "bad boy" party man? |
or girl... :toothless |
|
|
| starsearcher |
| quote: | Originally posted by English Rachel
or girl... :toothless |
Oh yeah! Now you're talking :p |
|
|
| _EuG_ |
| quote: | Originally posted by Beach420
a challange yes, i think its good to have challanges in a relationship, its what makes it stronger. As for being told what to do and be taken control of...bitch plz! Girls dont wanna be told what to do and be taken control of, thats an extreamly unhealthy relationship. No guy should do that, and no girl should let any guy do that. Relationships should consist of 2 ppl learning and growing together, not one telling the other what to do. One of my best friends dated a guy who took control of her life and told her what to do, and from seeing someone i love go through all the he put her through i will (and i hope no one else will) never put themselves in a position like that. Its unhealthy and completly draining. Controlling boyfriends/girlfriends will never win. I personally take offense to this comment, and hope that if u do have a gf that u take what ive said into some consideration |
i didnt mean it that way, i jus mean that you have to stand up for ur self and not be completely whipped. Cuz if u get to that situation where you lose any say in the relationship you can get realy hurt it has happaned to people that i know... Its always better to have the upper hand, not dominate but jus the upper hand |
|
|
| starsearcher |
| I don't know if I agree with that...I don't think the guy needs to have the upper hand in the relationship - I like chicks with brains ambitions goals and balls... |
|
|
|
|
