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Do all people cheat? (pg. 18)
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| Vivid Boy |
| damn right its her business. if its for the amusmeent of ones self its your business. i start stories abt ppl in relationships out of sheer entertainment. watch how long it will take for a relationship to break up with a rumour like herpes lingering over it |
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| yankeeBaby |
| quote: | Originally posted by Vivid Boy
damn right its her business. if its for the amusmeent of ones self its your business. i start stories abt ppl in relationships out of sheer entertainment. watch how long it will take for a relationship to break up with a rumour like herpes lingering over it |
dont be a face! :whip:
Off topic: the NYC thread has generated some interesting thoughts on evolution and such.....weird how differently threads can go, when asked the same question. |
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| kaniz |
IMO - sexual exclusivity (or lack of) is just another 'rule' of a relationship that can be discussed to make things work.
Generally speaking, for /most/ people, Monogamy seems to work. If it's not working - then open it up to discussion and consider changing the rules.
It's cheating when you break those rules.
ie: If one of your 'rules' is - you can sleep with someone else, but need to tell your partner about it shortly after it happens. But, you dont tell them at all - then that's cheating. The fact that you slept with someone else isn't cheating, the fact that you didn't tell is.
One of my friends is in a relationship, one of them is far kinkier than the other. Now and then, the other person will go off to satisfy their 'kinkier' side elsewhere. Should a minor sexual incompatibility ruin an otherwise healthy/good relationship?
Instead of having both parties become sexually aggravated (either from not doing what they like, or by being forced to do something that they dont) - or risk ruining things by cheating behind the others back. They talked about it, came to an understanding, and its working out well for them. |
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| ChemEnhanced |
| quote: | Originally posted by kaniz
ie: If one of your 'rules' is - you can sleep with someone else, but need to tell your partner about it shortly after it happens. But, you dont tell them at all - then that's cheating. The fact that you slept with someone else isn't cheating, the fact that you didn't tell is.
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I can just imagine...sleeping with some chick and as soon as you are done...calling the wife and telling her and then asking if she needs you to pick anything up from the store on the way home. |
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| kaniz |
| quote: | Originally posted by ChemEnhanced
I can just imagine...sleeping with some chick and as soon as you are done...calling the wife and telling her and then asking if she needs you to pick anything up from the store on the way home. |
husband: Hey hun, sorry I'm a bit late from work, I banged the new secretary at the office.
wife: Not a problem, can you pick up some spinach from the store on the way in? I'm making salad for dinner
husband: ok, anything else you need?
wife: Oh ya, pick up a refill of Valtrex while your at it
husband: got it, see you soon |
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| Silky Johnson |
| Lol, herpes. |
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| English Rachel |
This thread makes me want to cry (Kelly, don't read below).
Is there no sanctity in the world any more? Are we just animals wanting to 'spread our seed' or 'explore our kinky side'. , I am dirtier than most but I genuinely, GENUINELY have NO IDEA how you can love someone with all your heart and want to be with them yet still want to share physical passion with another. Am I crazy? I certainlt feel it at the moment.
I know two couples that swing and honestly, it makes me WRETCH when I think about Adam with another let alone WATCHING it. WTF??????
Is this all because people are at being single and so adapt their version of a relationship to allow single behaviour to take place?
, I need to stop typing.... |
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| Silky Johnson |
Yeah I dunno. It's hard to say because I think a lot of the traditional values people embrace in relationships are because of social conditioning.
I mean, I'm with you Rach...but I've also become a lot more open minded to what relationships mean for other people these days. |
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| kaniz |
Dunno, I've seen a relationship or two fall apart due to sexual issues and one person not being fully satisfied.
If you have an otherwise healthy and strong relationship, why would you let something like sex be an issue that could break it up and cause unneeded tensions and issues when you could discuss it, be open and honest about it and find something that makes that aspect of your relationship work?
Some times "sex is just sex", and having sex does not breach upon the emotional commitment that you have to the other person.
For me, if my partner went off and had 2 or 3 'dates' with another person, was flirting with them, going for dinner behind my back/etc (but non sexual at this point), I'd be hurt by it.
However, if he just hooked up with some guy and that was that - as long as he was safe about it, I'd be a bit "so what". Enough is going right/well in the relationship, this just seems like such a minor point. If it became a very frequent thing and happening every day - it'd start to bother me. |
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| Yohan |
| quote: | Originally posted by jennypie
Yeah I dunno. It's hard to say because I think a lot of the traditional values people embrace in relationships are because of social conditioning. |
Polygamy (and other multi partner sexual practices, at least from males) was perfectly accepted for longest periods of history.
Until emergence (and domination) of Christian thought through out the world, one can probably argue that monogamy was a minority.
| quote: |
I mean, I'm with you Rach...but I've also become a lot more open minded to what relationships mean for other people these days. |
The definition of sex and its practice in context of relationships will continue to evolve...
Just how much change has occurred from conservative 50s to now and how people perceive sex without marriage.
I'm a sex only in a serious relationship type of guy, but I can see why sex is just sex to some people.
Another question. Can there be a strong relationship without a satisfactory sex life? |
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| English Rachel |
| quote: | Originally posted by jennypie
I mean, I'm with you Rach...but I've also become a lot more open minded to what relationships mean for other people these days. |
Don't get me wrong, I certainly don't judge others, in fact, I like the fact that we are more open and honest with ourselves in general but to be honest, I find it very difficult to believe!
And the sex I had whilst single was excatly that, just sex. So I know what you mean. When you love someone though, that is just a part of what you give to them and becomes more than sex, it becomes making love.
Sorry guys, I don't think I am articulating myself well at the moment and like I say, I am certainly not judging.
Kaniz, with all due respect, gay relationships are very different. |
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| Capo di tutti |
| quote: | Originally posted by Yohan
Another question. Can there be a strong relationship without a satisfactory sex life? |
no.
its a need, a want, a connection. Sex is so important. How pissed off would you be with bad makeup sex... it makes me made just thinking of it...bad sex is NO GOOD!
like my grandfather told me from a young age "you gotta take her for a test drive, before you sign the contract" |
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