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What do you do when you find out you've been a MISTRESS for the past year... (pg. 18)
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| GGM |
| quote: | Originally posted by Swamper
Wow. Drama.
If all is as described then I can completely understand the starting of this thread -- if your partner is dishonest with you, and is a regular on a messageboard where he also starts threads (Valentines) with your picture then it is absolutely within her right to do the opposite, an "anti-Valentines-this-is-the-truth-as-I-see-it" kind of thread. Is it 'right'? What is 'right' really? Everyone will have a subjective view of this, myself included -- varying from those who have been in her shoes ("yea! spill the dirt!") or those who have been in his shoes ("omg! plz keep this personal!") to those that who come out of the woodwork just to give their $0.02 only to disappear back under a rock soon after. That said, I do agree it's private info but when you're hurt you're not exactly thinking completely straight and there is no absolute-best-way to handle any of these situations... too many variables of which we are not privy to.
Although...she'd probably get much better advice posting on here |
+1 on that. I agree this probly isn't the optimal place to air out dirty laundry like this. But those who are saying that with such vigilance need to remember the dude:
-did the dating/cheating/lying or who knows what really went down..
-introduced the girl to TA (big no no, cmon...)
-started a valentines thread WITH her picture (gigantic no no if it's really an affair)
So it turns nasty and all the sudden the above 3 factors should be erased or ignored? Dude kinda dug his own grave on this one.
Moral of the story is there's tons and tons of bad consequences to cheating. Much worse than whats happened here. If you can't deal with those potential consequences than hmmm here's a wild idea, don't do it...? |
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| LKD |
| quote: | Originally posted by devnull
first picture that came to mind when i read this post....Snookie :nervous:
:p |
no no...I'm broader than her |
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| srussell0018 |
| quote: | Originally posted by LKD
no no...I'm broader than her |
ew. |
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| 1dawoman |
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
Hellz yeah I would. I'm principally concerned with my families happiness; why the hell would I want to disrupt that? |
Did it ever occur to you that kids aren't dumb. A loveless marriage isn't benefiting anyone. Kids pick up on that. Growing up I had a friend whose parents were unfaithful to each other. Although this was not discussed she could tell her parents were unhappy which caused her a lot of distress. A few years later her parents divorced and each remarried and she was much happier... Bottom line...sometimes staying together "for the kids" isn't the best solution... |
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| srussell0018 |
| quote: | Originally posted by 1dawoman
Did it ever occur to you that kids aren't dumb. A loveless marriage isn't benefiting anyone. Kids pick up on that. Growing up I had a friend whose parents were unfaithful to each other. Although this was not discussed she could tell her parents were unhappy which caused her a lot of distress. A few years later her parents divorced and each remarried and she was much happier... Bottom line...sometimes staying together "for the kids" isn't the best solution... |
But you have absolutely no idea what the situation was in this case, so your post is completely irrelevant. |
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| VDub |
| quote: | Originally posted by Swamper
Wow. Drama.
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Pfft...
You started it.. |
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| 1dawoman |
| quote: | Originally posted by srussell0018
But you have absolutely no idea what the situation was in this case, so your post is completely irrelevant. |
True....its possible they had an open marriage but based on what OP said....I seriously doubt that... |
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| ChemEnhanced |
| quote: | Originally posted by 1dawoman
Did it ever occur to you that kids aren't dumb. A loveless marriage isn't benefiting anyone. Kids pick up on that. Growing up I had a friend whose parents were unfaithful to each other. Although this was not discussed she could tell her parents were unhappy which caused her a lot of distress. A few years later her parents divorced and each remarried and she was much happier... Bottom line...sometimes staying together "for the kids" isn't the best solution... |
From what the OP stated it was a happy marriage so you are making assumptions that you shouldn't make. If the wife and the kids are happy then telling them does nothing but cause pain and trouble. The only reason for telling is because you want revenge for someone lying to you. I don't see how ruining the happiness of four people to satisfy someone's need for revenge is a good thing.
There are only two things the OP should have done when she found out.
1. Accept her role as a mistress and continue on in that role or
2. Leave and move on with her life. |
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| srussell0018 |
| quote: | Originally posted by 1dawoman
True....its possible they had an open marriage but based on what OP said....I seriously doubt that... |
Right, but she obviously had no idea whether the marriage was happy or not, if the kids were in a good environment, etc. This is obvious because of her complete lack of awareness that he even was married, so going to the wife was clearly just an act of revenge and was in no way a means to "save the kids." That's just bs to justify the vindictiveness of her act. |
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| mdm8 |
| quote: | Originally posted by srussell0018
Right, but she obviously had no idea whether the marriage was happy or not, if the kids were in a good environment, etc. This is obvious because of her complete lack of awareness that he even was married, so going to the wife was clearly just an act of revenge and was in no way a means to "save the kids." That's just bs to justify the vindictiveness of her act. |
Fun fact: She wasn't the one who told his wife. You have no idea the circumstances or the situation here and thus have no business commenting on it. gtfo |
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| urban_legend |
| quote: | Originally posted by Swamper
Wow. Drama.
If all is as described then I can completely understand the starting of this thread -- if your partner is dishonest with you, and is a regular on a messageboard where he also starts threads (Valentines) with your picture then it is absolutely within her right to do the opposite, an "anti-Valentines-this-is-the-truth-as-I-see-it" kind of thread. Is it 'right'? What is 'right' really? Everyone will have a subjective view of this, myself included -- varying from those who have been in her shoes ("yea! spill the dirt!") or those who have been in his shoes ("omg! plz keep this personal!") to those that who come out of the woodwork just to give their $0.02 only to disappear back under a rock soon after. That said, I do agree it's private info but when you're hurt you're not exactly thinking completely straight and there is no absolute-best-way to handle any of these situations... too many variables of which we are not privy to.
Although...she'd probably get much better advice posting on here |
Del is a smart man......
I think she had the right to post it and it's all the retards here that are tainting the thread.
If we were his friends we should know, he's lied to all of us. I certainly don't want a friend like that. These weren't little white lies either, he was pretty much a con man.
I also knew Lindsay way before AJ and I feel for her big time. I could only imagine the hurt and pain she's going through, so a simple you in a thread isn't bad at all. Who cares if it's public knowledge, what if he tried to hook up with someone else on the board? He would have lied to try to. What about that aspect?
A douche is a douche, its kinda like being indentified as a child molester in public, people should know, so they don't fall victim. I am sorry but someone who cheats on his wife like this, especially if they have kids, should be called out.
Hell, he creeped friends of mine, the whole situation is just nasty and gross. All respect for the man is gone in my eyes.
Not only that, she did it respectfully and didn't mention his name, only that weird creeper mdma8 or whatever did so lay off Lindsay. |
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| mdm8 |
| quote: | Originally posted by urban_legend
Del is a smart man......
I think she had the right to post it and it's all the retards here that are tainting the thread.
If we were his friends we should know, he's lied to all of us. I certainly don't want a friend like that. These weren't little white lies either, he was pretty much a con man.
I also knew Lindsay way before AJ and I feel for her big time. I could only imagine the hurt and pain she's going through, so a simple you in a thread isn't bad at all. Who cares if it's public knowledge, what if he tried to hook up with someone else on the board? He would have lied to try to. What about that aspect?
A douche is a douche, its kinda like being indentified as a child molester in public, people should know, so they don't fall victim. I am sorry but someone who cheats on his wife like this, especially if they have kids, should be called out.
Hell, he creeped friends of mine, the whole situation is just nasty and gross. All respect for the man is gone in my eyes.
Not only that, she did it respectfully and didn't mention his name, only that weird creeper mdma8 or whatever did so lay off Lindsay. |
I've also known Lins personally for years and I'm not a "weird creeper". She originally did mention his name, but edited it out. So much misinformation in this thread and people speaking of what they don't know... |
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